Kimi Harris, nonconformist

I have started a new blog!

2007-10-18T16:10:00.000-07:00

I am finally ready to dive back into blogging after a very long break! I am excited to start writing again and have many ideas for future posts. However, I decided to have a different focus, thus I have started a new blog. Womanly pursuits will be centered more around......womanly pursuits! My subtitle for the blog is "pursuing glorifying God through our hearts, minds, and hands."

Examples of subjects for this blog include: motherhood, wifehood, homemaking, making money, cooking, health issues, biblical womanhood, products I use, what I am reading, my pursuit of holiness, and whatever else I am pursuing! Women are supposed to be good at multi-tasking, and this blog will be multitasking a little as far as subjects go. But I think you all can handle it, after all, isn't that what real life is like?

Please join me and let me know you stopped by!

Pray for Ian

2007-05-10T10:30:00.001-07:00

In my recent post, Read a book instead of my blog, I talked about some of the advantages and disadvantages of blogs. One advantage that I did not address was the advantage of (what I label) prayer blogs.

When Faith was alive, we posted on a "carepage". It was basically a blog intended to inform family and friends of how Faith was currently doing. Through this carepage, many people who did not know Joel, me, or Faith found out about her life and prayed consistently for her. This was an amazing gift of grace to us as a family. Joel and I are so grateful to all of those who prayed (and even fasted) for us. It served us greatly in a very difficult time. This is an example of how we can use the internet as a means of blessing others in the Church.

I have become recently aware of another prayer need, through a website devoted to him, that has touched my heart. It involves the love of a family and a faithful woman to a man in need. A very brief overview of their story is the following.

Ian and Larissa were a young engaged couple when Ian became involved in a very serious car wreck. Ian barely survived and for the last seven months, to my understanding, has been in a semi-coma. I have been so blessed seeing Larissa's faithfulness in serving Ian. She is lovingly committed to doing what she can for him, even though they may never be able to get married. His family's and her faith in God has in been constant. This ongoing story builds up our faith by seeing God's grace in their time of need; While, at the same time. we can serve them by praying.

Recently, Kristi Altrogge posted this on Ian's website:

"I've had the honor of watching Mary, Steve and Larissa walk through the worst trial I can possibly think of for the last 7 months now. I've read every post, with all of you, and wondered at the grace that God has poured into their lives day after long day. It has been 7 months full of miracles and sadness and grief, and they have proven to me, through the watching and the reading, that everything that the Scriptures say about God is true.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isa. 41:10

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, not shall the flame scorch you." Isa 43:2

Because of Steve, Mary and Larissa, I know that He provides whatever His people need when they are suffering. Because of them, I know that He is powerful, beyond belief, because day after difficult day, each of them puts one foot in front of the other, and lives with the praises of God in their hearts and mouths. Because of them, I know, that even in the very worst of circumstances God is, very purposefully, at work in the lives of His beloved children. They have become our teachers, not because they wanted to be, but because God purposed it. And they have been faithful, faithful teachers. And with each passing day, they teach us more about who God is, what He is like, and what He does for His children. What a pleasing aroma their lives are sending up to the Father, day after day after day.

We miss Ian more than words can say. He's home, and we're incredibly grateful that God intervened over and over again to save his life and heal his body. But we miss who he was when he left us and we're aching for the Lord to completely restore him. We miss his voice. We miss his laughter. We miss his humor and wit. We miss his friendship. We miss everything about him, which is a lot because, for anyone who knows him, Ian is quite a presence.

So, I'm asking that, for anyone who reads this blog, would you be willing to double and re-double your prayers to the Father for Ian's complete return? Would you be willing to ask, seek and knock more and harder. As we have well learned, the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective and God rewards them who diligently seek Him. Would you be willing to ask the Lord for more faith for more prayer for Ian? Would you be willing to ask the Spirit to remind you more each day? It's so easy to forget. Would you, especially, pray that He would restore Ian's ability to talk? I know that it's a great burden for his parents and Larissa not to know if he's hurting or uncomfortable or discouraged. We would be so grateful if you would, and God is always pleased with more prayer."

Would you consider joining in prayer for this family, fiance and, of course, for Ian?

To follow this story, visit www.prayforian.com

Book Review: Nonfiction

2007-05-02T20:40:00.000-07:00

The Four Loves, By C.S. Lewis

Love

Our society uses the word "love" a lot. We read books about true and fictional romances. In our earlier years, when Old Yeller died, we cried. Many of us are moved over stories of men separated from their loved one, a mother dying for her child, and a beloved pet missing. These stories move us because they deal with matters of the heart, in a word, love.

C.S. Lewis

Most of us know C.S. Lewis through his children's series, The Chronicles of Narnia (I say children's series, but they are really good for all ages. My husband and I are reading through them again right now). But Lewis also wrote many other books worthy of our attention. One of which is The Four Loves. In it, Lewis deals with the subject of love, separating it into four different types- Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity.

I don't think that this book is intended to be a systematic look at every aspect of these four different loves. But rather it is a often witty, thought provoking book filled with new and old thoughts on love. This book is not organized neatly into sections dealing with the a-b-c's of each love, but rather it is a free flowing, well thought-out, collection of connected thoughts on each love. He often gives poignant examples from his experience with people, as well as examples from other literature to help make a point. I do have to admit that this tired Mom found certain paragraphs here and there hard to follow. But overall this was not the case.

I thought this book to be very interesting because in so many different books, articles, blogs, radio shows, etc,we imply very many thoughts on love without ever thinking through what our foundational thoughts on what love really is. This book forces us to consider what we really mean when we say, "I love you ".

A Manly Perspective

It is important to remember that this book was written by a man. I say that not to imply that men don't understand love as much as women, because that's not true. I say that because men relate differently than woman in some areas of love, especially in friendship and eros love. I find that Lewis' s "manly" perspective comes out most strongly in the friendship chapter. I think that most of us can agree that men relate in friendship quite a bit differently than women do. But I valued this chapter more because it was from a man's perspective. I felt that it helped me understand my husband more. I often didn't understand why he related to his guy friends the way that he did (it was so unlike how I related to my girlfriends). I felt that this chapter really illuminated some of the mystery for me. I also see a sad lack of literature dealing with men and their friendships, so this was a breath of fresh air in a woman friendship dominated world.

Loves can be demons

Another theme that I really appreciated in this book was that loving something or someone other than God, could become a "demon". He felt that if you loved God rightly, your love for more earthly things would be a better, stronger love. In fact, he felt that we cannot rightly love anything else without God's help. It is only by God's grace that we can rightly love Him, or our spouse, or our pet in the right way.

Am I supposed to hate my family?

In the last chapter, C.S. Lewis brings so much light to relevant issues of yesterday and today. He includes answers to such questions as, " Should I love, even if it is going to bring me pain?", and the very hard question of "What does Christ mean when he says that I should hate my wife and family?" . If you have ever struggled with either of these questions, I urge you to read this book.

C.S. Lewis always gives me food for thought, and this book was no exception.
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Photo Credit: www.amazon.com

Book Review: Fiction

2007-05-01T15:08:00.000-07:00

Mother, by Kathleen Norris

Mother, a novel originally published in 1911, has been recently revised and republished by Vision Forum. The main character, Margaret (or Mark, as her family affectionately calls her), comes from a loving and large but not well-to-do family. At the beginning of the book we find her discontented with life, but lo and behold, a golden opportunity drops in her lap. She is invited to be an assistant to a very wealthy and well-known lady. Influenced by her employer and her exposure to the lavish life of the rich, Margaret's values begin to change. Only at the end of the book does she find that what is truly important has been left behind with her family.

This book does not pretend to be the best book ever written (as stated in the Introduction). I have been told that other books by this author were not well written. Mrs. Chancey, who revised this book, probably greatly improved the original work's quality. Nevertheless, I found Mother to be an enjoyable read, and as it was not long, I was able to finish it quite quickly. It was a good reminder that being a good mother to Elena and a faithful wife to Joel is an important and worthy goal to pursue. The last chapter of the book where Margaret finally realizes this truth, was actually quite powerful in parts.

The reader should know that the book unapologetically advocates a no birth control marriage and extols the virtues of large families. I would be wary of recommending this book to a mother who wanted more children which God did not bless her with. I also would not necessarily recommend this book to a woman who chose to only have a few children and was past her childbearing years, as certain passages seemed to be pretty disdainful towards mothers with only one or two children.

While I may not agree with some of the author's (or revisionist's) views on certain issues, and while I do have concerns about some of the "disdainful" passages, this book does do a good job of painting a beautiful picture of raising children instead of gaining riches and earthly glory. I appreciated the main message of the book.

But having it revised does cause me to have a complaint against this book. It will not speak the wisdom of an age past. I had a hard time believing that someone would have written certain passages in 1911 and so believed certain parts to be the recent day writings of the revisionist, Mrs. Chancey. This should be treated as a "modern" book, in my mind, because the slant that it takes on certain issues mirrors the position of many modern conservative Christians.

Ending thoughts: I would let my daughter read this book because I think that it does do a good job promoting family values and we can always talk through any concerns that I have.

Image from Vision Forum

Book Reviews Coming Soon!

2007-04-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

I have been greatly enjoying reading lately and I have a whole stack of books ready to write reviews for. If you don't have a love for books yet, cultivate one! Books open up a whole world of new thoughts, new peoples, and new experiences.
I have two reviews almost ready to post and will so soon. The point of these reviews is NOT to say that these books are some of the "great" books (because a lot of them aren't). Rather, use these reviews as a help on your own journey of looking for great books to read. I want to share not only the positive reviews but also the negative ones. Positive ones help us find good books, negative ones help avoid the lesser ones. I will try to keep somewhat of a balance between the different genres and types of books, including fiction ,nonfiction, biographies, older books as well as newer ones, historical books, and children's books as well as adult books.

Read a Book Instead of My Blog

2007-04-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

Finding balance in a blogging world

Picture this

A woman stares intently at her computer screen. She is eagerly reading about Suzie's re-decorated house, Emily's cleaned out closet, John's random thought's on public, private and home schools, Jane's most recent episode in the child training nightmares, Katie's disagreement with a recently released book, and Kimi's latest illness.

She faithfully leaves comments on all of the sites, giving advice to Jane about child training, disagreeing with John on schooling choices, praising Emily's cleaned out closet, admiring Suzie's home, agreeing with Katie's disagreement, and commiserating with Kimi (which Kimi appreciates very much).

She then glances at her watch and realizes that all of her free time is gone. She forlornly contemplates the stack of books on her desk that she has been planning to read: the book about child training, the book about decorating, the book about classical private schools, and the book about suffering. She traces her name in the dust gathering on top of them." Oh, well," she sighs. "Some other time..."

Do you see yourself in the above? I must admit that far too often, I have been that woman myself!

That is why, as much as I hope you enjoy reading my blog, as much as I hope you continue to come back here, and as much as I hope that reading my blog does encourage and bless you, I want to try to influence you to read great books. If you are reading blogs in place of reading great books, I believe you are really missing out. Here are a few reasons why.

Books generally contain a higher quality of writing .

If I was writing a book right now instead of writing this blog post, you had better believe that I would spend a lot more time writing it. This is true for nearly everyone.
For example, take my brothers-in-law, Alex and Brett Harris . They spend a lot of time working on well crafted, thought provoking posts. But right now they are working on writing their first book. The time spent thinking about their topic, planning, praying, writing, and getting feedback from others is vastly increased. While I have always enjoyed reading their posts, I anticipate that their book is going to be even better. If you were forced to choose between reading their blog and reading their book, their book would be a better choice.

Blogs often contain short-lived opinions

Most likely all of us have at one point or another felt strongly about a certain principle or issue, but upon additional experience, time and wisdom, realized our original conclusion was wrong. We are much more likely to write about a passing belief on a blog, than in a book. We can easily share opinions on blogs that have not been tested with further thought, feedback or experience. This is an important aspect of blogging to keep in mind when reading them. Books on the other hand, are not so vulnerable to this tendency.

Books open the door to the wisdom of the ages

If we are only aware of the wisdom of the present day we will be limited in our knowledge. Every century, even decade, has its own strengths and weaknesses in thought and practice. If we read only the newest, most recent blogs, newspapers, and magazines (and books!) we will be restricted to the wisdom and faults of our age. But if we read older books, we can learn from their insight as well as their mistakes, and develop a more well-rounded knowledge. Don't limit yourself, read old books.

So why am I blogging?

There are still reasons that I feel it is beneficial for me to visit blogs and post on my own blog. Here are a few strengths of blogs.

It allows one to converse about current and ancient issues with others.

I can get feedback on my own thoughts about past and present events and ideas, bringing to light their weaknesses and strengths. Blogs provide a means to do this in a unique way that reading books does not afford. I might get stuck with an undeveloped and unchallenged conviction or thought, if I never get feedback from others. While reading various books and talking to my acquaintances will help me get a wider scope on different issues, blogs provide another avenue for feedback.

It's a good way of keeping up on current issues in the Church and the world.

Al Mohler's blog is an excellent example of this. We, as Christians, need to keep apace with the world around us. This is where blogs, written so recently, can be a huge blessing. What issues do we currently face in our world? How do we respond to them today? Addressing these questions is one of the biggest strengths of blogs.

Finally, this is where we need to be careful with both blogs and books.
Read the best of the good. We can waste our time by reading bad books, and bad blogs. We can even misuse our time spent reading good books, by neglecting the best ones. With this thought in mind, I am renewing my commitment to using this blog to try to capture the best. I might not post as often, but I will try to post quality so I won't be wasting your time.

In the end, I think that while blogs have their place in this world, it would be helpful to ask ourselves the following questions.

Am I reading the best of the good?

Am I learning from past wisdom as well as the present wisdom of the day?

Is my time allotment to great blogs versus great books well balanced?

Am I keeping up on current issues?

As I read blogs, am I keeping in mind their weaknesses as well as their strengths?

Blog update

2007-04-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

I have been spending the last couple of months getting back on my feet after being sick for so long. Because of that, my blogging as been, well, nonexistent. But I am ready to start back again! I have many different ideas for the direction of this blog that I am excited about (and I hope you will be too!). For example, I hope to start reviewing books that I have been reading and interviewing other ladies about various topics so that we can learn from their wisdom. I am opening my blog to guest posts by others, so if you would like to be a guest poster-contact me!).

Dealing with broken expectations

2007-02-15T16:02:00.000-08:00

When I thought about my future married life, I thought of keeping a cozy, clean home. I expected to have a hot, delicious meals ready for my husband. I wanted to look nice when he walked through the door. I thought I would be able to teach piano for at least a while longer. I hoped and planned for us to have a baby within the first few years of marriage, I didn't expect my life to be perfect, but I had certain goals that I thought I could meet at least part of the time.

What I didn't expect was to be horribly sick with morning sickness after two months of being married. My husband came home to vomiting, very messy wife. The house wasn't clean and I couldn't look at food, let alone cook. I could barely make it through my piano lessons and was pretty much miserable every waking hour. What I wasn't expecting was to find out that our baby had a severe heart condition that would ultimately lead to her passing away at eight weeks. What I didn't expect was to go through premature labor with my next pregnancy and end up in the hospital for a couple weeks. What I didn't expect was to be constantly sick for months after our precious baby was safely born. Am I cheering anyone up yet? *smile*

A lot of things have happened that I never would have imagined. But I am so grateful to God, because there are other outcomes I didn't expect. I didn't expect that my husband and I would grow closer together and that our love would grow through the tears and the pain. I didn't expect to become more refined by the fire of suffering, to grow in my faith through walking through the shadows of death. I didn't expect to learn how to deeply empathize with other's sorrow because of my own. I didn't expect that God would teach me how to love more, by loving my sick baby. God has used the unexpected in more ways than I can count. I am thankful for His loving wisdom and His sustaining grace.

Since I have, by God's grace, been well just these last few weeks. I have had a little taste of my original dream. A beautiful baby to hug, a somewhat clean house, hot yummy food on the table, and my hair is even brushed when my husband comes home!! But I find that if I had not gone through all of the other painful experiences, I would not be able to appreciate fully what I have now. While my married life has not gone down the path I thought it would, I realize that God has been forming me into the woman He wants me to become.

I am striving to have a quiet heart before God; willing to trust in Him, even when my plans don't take place. I am very sinful, and very self-willed. But God is slowly showing me His truth and I am slowly learning to say, "Not my will, but Yours."

Humility through illness

2007-01-03T13:12:00.000-08:00

My apologies for not updating my blog for so long. God has been teaching me to trust in Him through many more infections and minor sicknesses. I am currently recovering from food poisoning (I was unable to eat much at all yesterday or even drink water, and was nursing at the same time so I got very sick). Yuck. But God does work through all things even when they seem pointless to us.
I think, for me, one of the most frustrating things is feeling unable to serve others, including my family. I feel that I have certain God-given responsibilities to fulfill on a normal basis, but my many sicknesses have bed ridden me often -forcing me to be dependend on others instead of serving them.
Take this last week for example; I was just getting on top of the house after my last round of mastitis when I got food poisoning. My house is now a complete disaster again and I am in survival mode. Thankfully my mom and my sister were able to help me these past two days with the baby.
There is one thing that this has accomplished in my life. It has kept me humble. It has been a constant reminder of my own weaknesses and how much I need God and other's help. If I had the perfect picture home, kept up on everything all the time, and was able to meet everyone's needs constantly, I could feel like I had "made it" and get prideful about myself.
Sometimes you see this tendency in some of our Christian leaders-the desire to paint the picture perfect family. This is dangerous ground to be on and will more tend to discourage instead of encourage others. I personally find that I am most meaningfully encouraged by leaders who share God's grace and abundance to them through their own weaknesses Sovereign Grace Churches seem to really have a grasp on this). On the other hand, I am the most discouraged by those who only show their best side- creating a picture of human perfection (while this can be seen in any ministry, you do seem to see this a lot with some of the really conservative ministries and blogs, which is very unfortunate). I think this is a grave mistake. It is impossible to keep up, for one thing, and it is almost being dishonest with the Christian family to never admit to any struggle or weakness.
So I am here to say that I am far, far from picture perfect, but that my Savior is perfect and though I am humanly weak and spiritual immature in many ways, God sustains me and gives me grace through the cross.
I do hope and pray to be able to serve others with my life, to have a house that is not only presentable, but inviting, to be able to consistently make healthy and delicious meals, to serve others in my church, and to witness to the outside world. But for now, God is giving me the grace to make it through my food poisoning, and giving me a heart willing to receive as well as give and to show weakness so that I can realize He is strong.

Light dawns in the morning......

2006-12-09T10:45:00.000-08:00

God is good. I am still definitely sick with both my sore throat and my infection and am still in discomfort, but I am definitely improving. I got to the point where nursing just about made me scream and I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed without help. Infections are nasty things because, unless you cure it quickly, they get into your blood stream and make your whole body feel horrible. I was also feeling so feverish and sick that I was unable to sleep.
But God was so good in allowing me to sleep last night and improving my health. Joel and I were worried that we would have to end up in the emergency room like last time when my fever got dangerously high. So we were so thankful to see improvement.
Now we need wisdom in how to improve my health. I got this really bad sore throat when no one else in my family had it and I hadn't been out at all this week. My immune system is really down and it seems like whenever I get a cold I get a really bad infection.
We are thankful to God for the healing process starting and looking to Him for wisdom for my health in general.

Consolations of the soul for a sick Kimi

2006-12-08T16:04:00.000-08:00

Well, I am sorry to say that I am really sick again. On top of my sore throat getting worse through the night, my mastitis came back in full force, despite all of my resting and garlic yesterday. I feel pretty poorly and am in a lot of pain. I am also wondering if Elena is trying to fight off my cold as well because she has been acting pretty crabby today.

As I was laying in bed this morning with my castor oil compress I was meditating on Psalm 94:17-18, which I memorized when I was really sick before with mastitis.

"When I thought 'my foot slips', your steadfast love held me up
When the cares of my soul were many, your consolations cheered my soul."

I feel like the 'cares of my soul' are many right now, but how does God's consolations cheer my soul? Here are few of God's consolations that I thought of this morning.

*I think that the biggest, most important consolation to mediate on is the Cross. God sent His only Son to save us from our misery (that we deserve). All my pain, including personal loss and mastitis is temporary through my Savior's pain. As my temperature started rising and I got the chills and felt so utterly miserable, I realized that Hell must be so much worse than this and that was what I was saved from. Thank you, God, for saving me from eternal pain.

*But not only did He save us from Hell, but He also gives us help while we are on this earth.
He gives us daily strength and is our shield and shelter.
He is a constant help in trouble
He will never leave nor forsake us
And He gives wisdom to those who ask
And those are just a few of what He does for us on this earth.

As I continue to fight against this infection, I try to mediate on these things so that my soul will be cheered, even while my body is in pain.
Please pray for me, Elena and Joel. My husband had to cancel his lessons today because I got so sick. We could all use your prayers.

Garlic breath and castor oil

2006-12-07T12:11:00.000-08:00

I seem to have gotten a sore throat. Somewhere between my post last night and two in the morning, my throat started hurting.

So today, I am resting as much as I can with a baby, eating raw garlic, drinking lemon juice in water, and guzzling water in general, as well as doing castor oil compresses and taking a homeopathic medicine for my infection. (on top of vitamin C and fish oil). I really, really want to feel better and I have to admit that I smell a little funny from garlic and castor oil!
But one thing that I am excited to find out, is that if you drink enough lemon juice, it gives you a energy boost. I have had a whole lemon today so far and it has really helped my energy. This is very exciting to me because I have been pretty tired since Elena was born and have wanted to be able to take something to get more energy.

But I don't drink coffee and pop and I don't have much time to be sipping a hot beverage such as tea. I now have my answer! Lemon juice! It is also nice to know that it has many health benefits. They are supposed to be able to cleanse your liver, help with sore throats and colds as well as a whole influx of others health issues. One disadvantage to me is that to much citris fruit can cause gas in babies.I will have to consider that aspect in my new lemon love!

Tears and anger VS. Love and prayer

2006-12-06T20:41:00.000-08:00

As a girl or as a woman have you ever found it difficult to stay in control of your emotions? I certainly have. When I was younger,if I was made to cry over something, I would totally lose it. I mean totally. I couldn't stop my tears to save my life. All it took was somone using a stern voice with me, and those tears would freely flow.

On my first job at a bakery, one time my boss got annoyed at me and gave me a lecture. I teared up and then I couldn't stop crying.......it was extremely embarrassing. Here I am trying to finish making bread dough with tears running down my face, trying to talk in a normal voice to a fellow employees with a sob behind every word, just counting down the minutes until I can get home and have a good cry and get it done with. Yes, I just couldn't quite get in control of my emotions.

It was with Faith Felicity that I learned to control my tears. I knew that babies could sense stress and I knew that Faith had enough to deal with as she fought for her life without dealing with my stress. So it was love for her that conquered my emotional outbursts of tears. I guess when you are so focused on someone else, rather than yourself, it's easier. I would still cry over her sometimes, but usually with some self-control and as soon as I was able to start comforting her after a painful procedure, I would start gaining full control. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's wrong to cry in public at appropriate moments. But there is a time and a place for everything, and I tended to lose control at the wrong times. Since then, I have had a little more control in this area.

Now I am learning self-control in another area with my new baby, Elena. I now have a healthy happy baby whom I don't feel so sorry for as I did with Faith. In the middle of the night, when I am already not feeling good and she wakes up crying for the fourth time and I can't comfort her......well, I have to admit it, I feel the heat rising, frustration boiling, and I really just want to leave her on the bed crying and run away and sleep somewhere (there goes the mother of the year award!). So I am learning to gain self-control when a million little things start adding up to being a big thing and that "this is the last straw" feeling starts to come over me.

I appreciated this portion from The Mother's Book, by Mrs. Child as I am dealing with my sinful tendencies. It is written in the style of the day (early eighteen hundreds), but the truth of her words rang true to me.

"You may say, perhaps, that a mother's instinct teaches fondness, and there is no need of urging that point; but the difficulty is, mothers are sometimes fond by fits and start- they follow impulse not principle. Perhaps the cares of the world vex or discourage you-and you do not, as usual smile upon your babe when he looks up earnestly in your face,-or you are a little impatient at his fretfulness. Those who know your inquietudes may easily excuse this; but what does the innocent being before you know of care and trouble?...............

Do you say it is impossible always to govern one's feelings? There is one method, a never-failing one-prayer. It consoles and strengthens the wounded hear, and tranquilizes the most stormy passions. You will say, perhaps, that you have not leisure to pray every time your temper is provoked or you heart is grieved.-It requires no time- the inward ejaculation of 'Lord, help me to overcome this temptation,' may be made in any place and amid any employments; and if uttered in humble sincerity, the voice that said to the rasing waters, 'Peace! Be still!' will restore quiet to your troubled soul."

Prayer and love for others rather than self, I think are some of the most important ways to gain control of unruly emotions.

Sick again! But not without hope.....

2006-12-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

I am, (as you will commonly find me) rocking my little babe as she sleeps with my laptop balanced on my knees. This has been an exciting week so far. On Sunday, I got yet another infection. I think (I hope!) that I am now over it. I was able to catch it pretty quickly and immediately started some natural treatments for it. I had broken out in hives from neck to toes with the last round of antibiotics I was on, so we are trying to avoid them! Last night, Elena woke up a lot so I am very tired once again.
It's funny how much I need God's grace to get through these lesser trials. One would think that after learning so much about trusting God through our first daughter's life and death that I would have no trouble getting through a day when I feel crummy. But I think that, as humans, we are constantly needing to be reminded to rely on God and to trust Him. At least, I know that I am in constant need! I really appreciate what my friend, Steph, said about dealing with her sicknesses.

"I was about to post about the end of morning sickness this weekend and how wonderful it is to be feeling normal even in to the evenings now. However, as the flu struck, I realized that even now I take my health so much for granted. I've been living with an 'I only have to endure this until January- maybe a little sooner' mentality and not being open to what the Lord wants to show me about dependence on Him. He has truly provided for us. I think he used yesterday and will continue to use sicknesses and such for me to realize again and again how faithful He is to take care of me"

God is faithful, even when I am not faithful in keeping a good attitude through mastitis and my lack of sleep. But I am slowly learning.

Modesty Survey

2006-12-04T13:09:00.000-08:00

My brother-in-laws, over at The Rebelution are organizing a modesty survey. This is what they had to say to the guys.....

"This is an opportunity for you to serve your sisters in Christ. Many girls are without fathers or brothers to advise them in this area. They need input from godly men regarding what is appropriate and what is not. It is not unlikely that this survey will go on to be widely read and carefully referenced.

On the other hand, as Christian young men in a highly sexualized society, this is an opportunity for us to educate Christian women regarding our inner-battle so that they won’t unwittingly contribute to our struggle. If you have ever wanted to tell a girl to go put on a sweater, this is your chance to do so — anonymously."

I appreciate their williness to put this together, if you want to become involved-head over to their website.

Sleep (or lack of)

2006-11-30T18:59:00.000-08:00

I have recently found out what a gift sleep is. All of you who are getting a full nights sleep, consider yourself blessed. Elena has been my gift from God, showing me what a gift sleep is -by taking it away from me. I am grateful that she is no longer nursing every two hours during the night and now...... if we can only get her to sleep through the night. Even just 6 hours would be wonderful. But I am striving to be content where I am at and with all that God HAS given me. I am so happy to have a baby- even if she does wake me up a lot. It has also been so good to have to look to someone else's needs instead of thinking of how tired I am. When she wakes me up in the middle of the night with little gas pains or is hungry, I try to remind myself, in my really groggy state, that she is needing something-comfort or food. My need for sleep needs to be laid aside to meet her needs. (Can you tell that I am trying to prep myself for tonight? LOL).
When I was getting super tired at first and was feeling really sick from my ever lasing mastitis, I would have this bit of pleading with God before I went to "bed" (I put that into quotation marks because my night looked alot like my day!).
"God," I would say, "You created me to need sleep. You have made me depend on sleep to remind me that I was dependent on you. Well, God, I freely admit that I am in need of sleep. But, you see, you have given me this baby. And she is keeping me up at night and so I don't get the sleep you created me to need. So will you please cause her to sleep tonight so that I can sleep?"
It didn't generally work and we are still hoping that some day she will start sleeping better (preferably before she hits her teen years. ; ) )
Instead of giving me sleep, I had to rely on God's strength quite heavily. It is good to be reminded that I need God, quite desperately. So off to another night of needing God.....

The Mother's Book

2006-11-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

I have been reading an interesting book, called The Mother's Book, written by Mrs. Child, published first in 1831. It's been sometimes amusing to hear some of her rather quaint ideas while some of her thoughts on the innocence of babies and children aren't really theologically correct, but I have found her book still very helpful with many things to ponder. One of the most convicting things in her book for me so far as been some of her thoughts on the responsibility of mothers to be what they want their children to be.

"The good old fashioned maxim that 'example is better than precept,' is the best thing to begin with. The great difficulty in education is that we give rules instead of inspiring sentiments. The simple fact that you child never saw you angry, that your voice was always gentle, and the expression of your face always kind, is worth a thousand times more than all the rules you can give him about not beating his dog, pinching his brothers, etc. It is in vain to load the understanding with rules, if the affections are not pure. In the first place, it is not possible to make rules enough to apply to all manner of cases; and if it were possible, a child would soon forget them. But if you inspire him with right feelings, the will govern his actions. all our thoughts and actions come from our affections; if we love what is good, we shall think and do what is good. Children are not so much influenced by what we say and do in particular reference to them, as by the general effect of our characters and conversation. They are in a great dregree creatures of imitation. If they see a mother fond of finery, they become fond of finery; if they see her selfish, it makes them selfish; if they see her extremely anxious for the attention of wealthy people, they learn to think wealth is the only good." page 22-23

I want to be the type of woman I desire my daughter, Elena, to grow up to be and I will only be able to come close to that goal by the grace of God. Having Elena and knowing that she is going to be greatly effected by what type of person I am, makes me grow more serious in my pursuit of godliness and should bring me closer to reliance on God and more dependent on the Cross.

2006-11-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

I hope that everyone had a very happy Thanksgiving! We had a very nice one. I do have to say that it was a little different for me. I missed eating with everyone because it was nursing time and then I am not eating dairy right now because it seems to make her gassy. That meant I couldn't eat a lot of my favorite things! Oh well, it is better than being up all night with a grumpy baby.
I have thankfully gotten over my rather severe case of mastitis. Thank you for your prayers. Elena, since going off dairy is starting to give me a little more sleep at night, which means I am starting to feel human again! Thank you, God!
Motherhood is, as with Faith- but in different ways, teaching me a lot about self-sacrifice, humility, and my own sinfulness. Not all fun lessons to learn, and going without much sleep has been very difficult for me, but we are coming through. : ) Motherhood is definitely the biggest joy, but also the biggest challenge I have ever faced.
But I am so enjoying my little baby. She is so sweet. She smiles and coos and laughs and "talks" to us all the time and, like all parents, I am sure that my babies are the cutiest and smartest that ever lived. LOL. Here are some pictures to share.

Elena Belle gets ready to go to church

Isn't she sweet?

Shes loves bath time

Talking to daddy

Sweet baby....... and fevers

2006-10-31T13:11:00.000-08:00

I am currently holding a sweet sleeping baby (who has kept me up all night for the last ......wait, I think she's done that every night since she was born!). I have been very blessed with this little treasure and she really is a sweet baby. And it's a good thing that she is pretty easy going because I have been really sick ever since she was born! I am now recovering from my third round of mastitis and am praying that this is the last one. The problem may have been that the type of antibiotics that I was one before was not effectively fighting off the infection. I am on a different one now and hopefully that does the trick. This last one definitely hit me the hardest and I ended up with a high enough temperature to land me in the emergency room. Fun fun!
But God has given me the strength to hold on through the many nights of chills and fevers and through the many days of feeling like I had the flu and dealing with a definite lack of sleep. I thought that I had reached my physical limit many times only to have one more thing happen to set me over the edge and then I think I was praying alll the time, "God help me. Give me strength." And He did, working through the help of my husband and my mother who would take the baby in between feedings to let me try to sleep here and there. Mothers are wonderful when you become a mother. : )
Elena is chubbing up nicely (as she should be considering how often she eats, every two hours for most of the day and most of the night!). I don't have any of our most recent pictures downloaded yet on my computer, but as soon as I do I will post them.
I wanted to thank all of you who prayed for us while I was pregnant with her. God has graciously answered with a yes to a healthy baby and we are so happy with her......now if we can only get me feeling better. : )

Baby is here!!

2006-10-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

( The above pictures were taken by Paul Hartung, a dear friend who is a wonderful photographer.)

For those of you who haven't yet heard ( my brother- in- laws at the rebulation already told the good news on their blog), Elena Belle Harris was born on September 28th. We are very very happy parents of a beautiful little girl. She was 6 pounds and 3 ounces and 20 inches long. She does looks similar to our first baby, Faith, in some of her features while having her own unique look. Elena is doing very well. She cried and cried at first, but now is pretty much happily sleeping away between meal times (which come very very often).
I am sorry to say that I am not doing quite as well. I am still healing from the many stitches I received from tearing at her birth, and working through some breast feeding issues and mastitis (which makes me feel like I have the flu). I was running a fever for a few nights in a row and am now on antibiotics. Oh, the joys of motherhood. I wouldn't mind some prayers, that all of the above issues would soon improve. : )
For all of those ladies out there who want to know more of the details, when I am feeling better I will write more about my labor. But until then, I think I am going back to bed! : )

No baby yet!

2006-09-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I was thinking I could wait until this baby was born to do my next update and/or post, but Elena apparently is very happy in the womb still! As much as I wanted to be able to do my next post saying "Baby is here!", considering how much time has passed, I wanted to do an update and let all of my friends and prayers partners know how things are going.
I have now been off of bed rest for a week and nothing has happened yet. We were certainly successful in stopping my labor, weren't we? ; ) God is good. Today I am 38 weeks pregnant and you can all reverse your prayers and pray that labor starts soon. I have another check-up today ( in which I don't plan on hearing anything new). The baby dropped last week. And that's about it. Pretty boring, huh?
Meanwhile, this last week, I cleaned house, got the baby stuff all ready, packed baby's and my hospital coming home bags, canned tomatoes yesterday with my mom and mother-in-law, and took lots of walks. I no longer care so much about all the projects I wanted to get done before baby was born, but would rather she just get here! : ) But all in good time.
From our earthly perspective here, we are praying that baby would come this week because our dear doctor, whom we had for my pregnancy with Faith as well, is on call this week for labor and delivery. It would make me feel so much better if he was the one who was able to be there for my labor and delivery. It would also be special because he was such a calming support during my hard pregnancy with Faith and then with the pre-term labor with this baby. He has become a friend, and all of my family who has met him also like and respect him a lot. So, if you think of it, pray that Elena comes before next Sunday!
Please excuse my lack of blog posts the last few weeks. I have been so focused on baby things, I have had a hard time focusing on writing! I am very excited about meeting this new little one.
(I will, of course, let everyone know, when Elena makes her grand entrance.)

Update on my bed rest and a few thoughts

2006-09-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

Greetings from the bedside of Kimberly Harris. I am pretty sure this is the last day of bed rest! I see my doctor tomorrow and hopefully everything will look alright for me to be up and around again. By the way, I will NOT be induced after all! My OB-GYN feels that the risk of infection is very minimal and I should be able to go back into labor whenever it happens. It seemed impossible to me, when I went into premature labor and was having so many contractions for a week, that I could get to 37 weeks. There were so many times when I felt like my contractions were getting stronger and wondered if I should call my mom to come back to the hospital (she is going to be there for Elena's birth, God willing). There were so many nights at the hospital where I would warn Joel that I might wake him up in a few hours if my contractions kept coming so steady and strong so that we could go down to the labor and delivery room. But, yet, here I am! At home and almost full term! God has been so gracious in answering yours and our prayers. Thank you for your prayers.

I must admit that with my "nesting" insticts coming in so strong that it has been driving me crazy lying down! I so badly want to get things together for our baby. Hopefully tomorrow, I can start on my house. : ) It would be nice to have a clean house to bring baby home too.

Some of you may remember that I got some rather rabid remarks on my "day in the life of Kimmy" post. I wondered what those people would have thought if they saw how my day went now! LOL

8-10 Lie on right side, eat, and read
10-12 lie on back, propped up, eat, and listen to sermon
12-3 lie on left side, eat, and work on hand sewing project for baby
3-6 sit up in bed and continue to work on hand sewing project while listening to a book on tape
6-9 eat dinner, visit with Joel, read together or watch a movie etc
9-10 eat a snack, go to sleep (usually sleeping on right side, if anybody was wondering).

Yes, anonymous, my life does revolve around food and I am gaining weight and I do spend all day in bed. And yes, I never " get out". Sad, I know! ; )

Anyway, it has been a little difficult having so much "worry time" available. With both of my pregnancies being more stressful, I am always having to fight fears as I wait for the "next blow". My mother is being called over all the time so I can ask her questions on whether she thinks there is a problem or not. But while I was at the hospital, God did give me some wonderful verses to comfort me. Mind you, I certainly don't always turn to these as I should with my fears. But when I remember to, they are of great comfort.

Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears."

Psalm 46: 1-2 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear......"

(Notice that we are not promised no trouble in this verse, but promised that God will be our strength and refuge when we are in troubling times)

God also spoke to me through the story of the disciples with Jesus in the stormy sea. The disciples were very frightened and scared as Jesus slept. After Jesus rebuked the storm, he turned to his disciples and said "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" Mark 4:40 I realized that when I was very afraid, it was because of a lack of faith in the goodness of God and not having enough faith in His promises. I also realized that I always thought it was silly for the disciples to be so afraid when they had Christ with them. But don't I have Christ with me? Did he not promise that he would be with us always, even to the end of the age?

God is good and he continues to work in my sinful, fearful heart.

At home......

2006-09-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

Hello friends, I wanted to let you know that I am now on bed rest at home! We were very excited to get out of the hospital for many reasons. The first being that I was having so few contractions that it seemed safe to send me home. Thank you all for your prayers. We are so thrilled to have Elena Belle stay in the womb this long. I am now 36 weeks along and only have to be on bed rest until next tuesday. After that, I can get up and we will see what happens! Specific prayer requests for us now is that Elena is born at a good time for her and that my labor goes smoothly without any complications (I am planning on doing a VBAC- vaginal delivery after having a cesearean, which has some risks involved).
Thank you all, once again, for your support and prayers

Update from the hospital...

2006-08-25T17:54:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! I just wanted to let you all know what has been happening the last few days here at the hospital. First of all, we are so thankful for the last few extra days we have had with Elena Belle in the womb and are praying for many more!
I have continued to have contractions, but they haven't seemed to progress back into labor yet. Thank you so much for your prayers. I can't tell you how much Joel and I would love to be able to not have Elena in the NICU, and that will only be possible if I don't go into labor for a few more weeks. As you know, Faith was in the NICU her entire short life and we never got to have even one day with her at home. It makes us even more eager to be able to experience "normal" baby life after our hard time with Faith.
The plan right now is to keep me in strict bed rest until 35 weeks and then start loosening up a little, and letting me walk a bit (though I might keep myself on bed rest until 36 weeks! I don't want her in the NICU!) If I manage (this would be so great) to get to 37 weeks, at that point they would like to see me go back into labor because of the higher risk of infection from being dilated so much for so long. I say that 37 weeks sounds great to me. ; ) But I am trying to keep thinking of this in terms of one day at a time. Each day is a blessing to have her in the womb and I am thankful for how many days we have gotten already. I will be kept here at the hospital until Elena is born. It kind of feels like walking on egg shells, not knowing if I am about to go into labor again or not. Joel has started working again (considering I could be here for a little while) which felt a little scary at first, but nothing has happened so far while he is gone. : ) I wish I could respond more to your comments, but Joel has to post things for me now because I don't have internet access in my room. But he has been showing the messages you left me (he saves it on the laptop and brings it up to me).
Thank you so much for your prayers!

From my hospital bed.......

2006-08-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

Hello blogger friends, many of you already have heard the news, but for those of you who haven't, I went into pre-term labor last saturday at 33 weeks. I dilated to about 4 1/2-5 cm and was having contractions pretty regularly. They gave me some medication to help stop my labor and gave me steroids to help the babies lungs. This morning I was taken off of the meds and we are seeing if I go back into labor. Please pray that I am able to hold on to this baby for a few more weeks. I will be kept here at the hospital for at least a few more days, quite possibly for a few more weeks (if we can keep baby in the womb that long). The hope is to get to 37 weeks so that this baby won't have to be kept in the NICU at all. If the baby was to be born now, it looks pretty good overall. They often have some trouble with breathing, infections, and temperature control however. They can also have a harder time learning how to breastfeed. Because I missed a lot of those newborn moments with our first daughter, I would really hate to lose some of those with our new baby as well. But we are just thankful that God was gracious in keeping Elena in the womb for the past 48 hours giving the steroids enough time to kick in.
We are praying that, first of all, that Elena would be kept safe, no matter when I go into labor and that she does well out of the womb.
Secondly, we are praying that she will stay put for a few more weeks so that she can have an easier time once she is born.
I would appreciate your prayers! Thank you!

Had to share......

2006-08-02T11:30:00.000-07:00

I got a good laugh out of a comment left by "anonymous" this morning. You can almost always tell they are going to be good if they are to ashamed to sign their name. I quote from the end of her/his comment deriding my life.........

" and your entire life centers around making food. sounds like both you and your husband and kid are going to become really fat."

Someone save me! Not only will I never be rich if I don't work full time, I am going to become fat and make my family fat too! Thanks, anonymous, for the warning. If I start dealing with weight problems, I will take your advice and get a job so I can afford to buy fast food, prepackaged food and eat out a lot and I'll let you know if it helps me out at all.

Bible Studies, revival meetings, conferences: what type of fruit are they producing in your life?

2006-08-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

I have participated in several types of Bible studies, groups, and conferences through my short years : ) and they have always been very helpful for me with my walk with God. I am also wanting to start a young ladies group this fall (which I am really excited about and will share more about in the future as I get it off the ground).

But what should the criteria be for judging whether a study group or group meeting is worth the time and effort? Most of us have amble choices for outside activities (ladies or men groups, Bible studies, Study groups, youth meetings, conferences, revival meetings, etc). Which do we choose to participate in? How can we tell if we are using our time wisely? Or, if we are leading a meeting, how can we know if we are really accomplishing something of worth through our meetings?
I found this helpful from J. C. Ryle in his book Holiness. He is referring to the revival type meetings happening in England during the eighteen hundreds, but you can use the same criteria for any type of Christian meeting.

"Do those who attend these meetings become more holy, meek, unselfish, kind, good-tempered, self-denying and Christ-like at home?Do they become more content with their position in life, and more free from restless craving after something different from that which God has given them? Do Fathers. mothers, husbands and other relatives and friends find them more pleasant and easy to live with? .......Above all, do they grow in charity.......?"

I think that it is appropriate and right to judge whether you are being helped along in your walk with God by the meetings or conferences you attend. What type of fruit do you bear from the time spent?

As I hope that my husband and I can be involved with many more studies with other believers (for the purpose of building each others faith up and godly fellowship), I find this so helpful to keep in mind.

As I hope to lead my small young ladies group, my goal is, by God's grace alone, to be able to create an atmosphere of mutual edification where we can leave our time together becoming more "holy, meek, unselfish, kind, good-tempered, self-denying, and Christ-like".

One dear friend who attends a different church than me, shared with me how she actually stopped going to the ladies Bible study group because she felt that instead of helping her become more holy it had the opposite effect! It seems that the biggest topic the ladies wanted to talk was their disappointment with their husbands. It wasn't edifying but only sowed more discord in their relationships. As a participant in a group, it's also important to remember that you help make the time together edifying or not. I have to admit that there was one accountability group I was in where we all tended to share a little to much about our frustrations with not getting married instead of encouraging each other more. Sometimes there just needs to be a little adjustment in a group (especially if it is small) to get it back on track of being helpful, and sometimes it is better to withdraw like my friend felt lead to do.

I think that youth groups can especially be shown up lacking when put aside the above criteria. I participated in a youth group during junior high that was serious minded and we did not usually play silly games, but it was definitely the meeting that I grew the least in my walk with the Lord. I was to distracted by all the youth group relational dynamics. It's hard to concentrate on God when you are wondering if so-and-so was going to ask you out. (I never "went out", but it was rather interesting being asked out! And even being given love notes. Yes, that was a distraction!). But many youth group meetings don't even have the foundation of Biblical teaching and worship but instead are focused on games and fun. Nothing wrong with some fun (I tend to like it myself), but you have to ask yourself what you are accomplishing if that's your primary goal for the meeting.

How about you? What have you participated in and how has it effected your life, good or bad?

A Day in the Life of Kimmy

2006-07-31T12:04:00.000-07:00

I have been, on numerous occasions, asked how I spend my time now that I am married and not teaching piano anymore (I taught piano lessons two full days before our first daughter Faith was born). I have always had a hard time explaining what I do spend my time on since most of the day is split up doing smaller tasks that in themselves don't take that long, but together fill my days. So when I saw what Erin had done over at her blog, unfoldingmoment.blogspot.com, I thought this would be a fun way to answer those questions.
I kept track of what I did all day so that you can get an "inside" look at what one of my days can look like. I should say, before I start, that my days vary greatly, so I don't really have a typical day. But this will give you some idea.

7AM- Our alarm went off. Joel and I will usually do our devotions when we first wake up. Joel started his devotions but I was feeling a bit of morning sickness so I tried to sleep a little longer and around 7:45 we both got up.

7:45to 8AM-While Joel took his shower, I started making our breakfast. I made a berry smoothie made out of Kefir (a fermented milk product), frozen banana and frozen berries. A very nice way to start out our day (and healthy as well!). I also scrambled an egg for myself.

8 to 8:30AM- I drink my smoothie and try to eat my egg (and decide I can't) while doing my devotions since I missed doing it earlier.

Between 8:30 and 9 I make Joel's lunch and clean the kitchen, start my first laundry load (today is laundry day) and help Joel get together some of his teaching things together. Joel leaves around nine and I have until dinner time to finish the rest of the things I want to get done that day.

9 to 9:30 I pick up downstairs and in our office/music room, and change laundry loads. I like to do some of the basic "chores" early in the day so that the house looks and feels clean to me while I get other projects done.

9:30 to 10:50, I make a bread dough and set it to rise in my window sill. I freeze some homemade chicken broth I had made earlier in the week. I do another load of laundry, and take a short break to have a snack and read some blogs.

From 10:50 to 12:15 I start making my mattress for my antique cradle. I am new to sewing so it's challenging to me, but I manage to figure out what needs to happen and it turns out great!

12:15 to 12:35-I take a lunch break and after another laundry change I get back to work on sewing and make my first sheet (I had to make sheets for the cradle as well since normal sheets would be to big for it). This also goes very well. I finish my first sheet around two pm and I take a few minutes to shape my bread dough into a loaf to rise again and change my laundry.

Between 2 and 2:45 p- I take a walk because I am getting stiff from sewing so much that day, and also to get some vitamin D from the sun. When I get back from my walk I do a few dishes that had piled up from lunch.

2:45 to 3:30-I start making my second baby cradle sheet and almost get finished with it when I start to have trouble with the machine. So I called it a day until I can get my mom to come help me (it's her machine).
By now I am getting pretty tired (I tend to need a nap on busy days) so I do chores for about an half an hour and then decide I can't stay awake to much longer so head up to bed to read and sleep before dinner preparations needs to happen.

4-5pm-Rest Time

At about 5:15 I start making dinner. For dinner we had one of my favorite meals.
Spanish rice (made with chicken broth, homemade salsa and brown rice)
Mexican Beef
Sour cream
A homemade salsa I had made a few days before and lacto-fermented for further nutritional value.
And homemade corn tortillas

Joel gets home somewhere in the middle of dinner prep and we eat around 6.
We spend the rest of the time doing various things together ( errands and talking). Later I work on Faith's scrap book and before we know it, it's time for bed!

Overall, I had more then enough to get done on that day. I had plenty of other projects I wanted to get to as well. Over dinner, when I told Joel what I had been doing (keeping track of my activities) and shown him what I had done, we discussed what my day would appear like to others. We both agreed that some one with a feminists world view would look at my day and call it pretty "boring". But the ironic thing is that if I told that same person that I spent all day as a chef in a ritzy restaurant making Mexican food from scratch such as salsa and corn tortillas or as a baker baking fresh gourmet bread. He/she would have thought I had an interesting, worthwhile job. Or, if I said I was a cradle mattress designer and maker, I would be considered pretty cool.
It's just the fact that I do these things at home for my family that it is considered boring and not very worthwhile. True, I had to do some more menial tasks such as laundry and picking up (but if I worked outside the home I would have to do those things anyways!), but even the not so fun jobs are worthwhile when you are doing it for someone you love.
It's not that I can't get tired of the different aspects of homemaking and helping my husband (just like I got tired of some of college classes I took or some of the menial tasks at the bakery I worked at), but I have to say that I do get a huge sense of accomplishment creating breads, healthy meals, organizing my household, helping my husband with his studio, and the many other things I do under my role of being a "housewife". So, look at me with pity if you want, but I am happy using my hands to serve in both the small and the big ways. : ) Thanks for reading about my day!

Response to other's faults

2006-07-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

I can often get frustrated when I see faults in others. I know that I am just as fault-filled as they are, so I have no room for pride if I am being honest with myself. But it doesn't always help me know how to respond when I notice the sinful tendencies of others. To often my response is a sinful annoyance at this person. "What is wrong with them?" "Can't they see what they are doing?" "Why are they so blind to their own faults?" -I say to myself as I blind myself to my own sin.
I tend to have a sinful (and prideful) negative reaction to their faults. So this quote from Dr Henry Blackaby (the author of Experiencing God) really stuck out to me,.

"The faults God lets us see in others is not for criticism but for intercession." Dr. Henry Blackaby

God doesn't let me (or you) see faults in others so that I can grow disgusted, judgmental, or prideful at other's sins. But He allows me to see their faults so that I can pray, intercede, for them before God. God doesn't want me to have a negative reaction to their faults, but a positive plan in how I can better serve them with this knowledge. We are, as the Church of Christ, called to serve each other. We are called to help each other grow in maturity. So when I notice a fault in a fellow believer, I am wrong to be annoyed or judgmental about it. I should view it as an opportunity for prayer. With this knowledge of a blind spot, or fault, I better know how to pray for a person. I am convicted to have a better reaction in the future to faults I see in others, and I am excited to see how God will help me change my viewpoint and attitude towards others.

Whose baby am I carrying anyways? My husband's or the state's?

2006-07-24T13:24:00.000-07:00

Don't worry, I do know who is the father of my unborn child (my wonderful husband, Joel). But one Virginia Judge's court decision has made me wonder if I really do get to be the authority over my own child or not. Does this baby belong to me or the state?
For those of you who haven't heard, Abraham Cherrix is a 16 year old boy who has a very serious cancer. After starting a very grueling chemo therapy regiment (apparently with only a 25% chance of survival), he, with his parents approval and support, decided that doing an alternative treatment (herbs and diet) would give him a better chance for life.
But our big protector state system stepped in finding the parents "neglectful" and ordering Abraham to go back and finish the chemo therapy.
Excuse me, but since when does the state have the right to decide my child's health treatment? Are they going to find me "neglectful" and make me share custody with a state worker if I happen to disagree with some of the aspects of traditional medicine?
The real question has nothing to do with what is the better choice medically. The real question is, who has authority over children anyways? Apparently, some believe it's not the parents. This has very scary implications for me as a parent raising a child in the United States.
Something else to keep in mind, with our first child Faith, we were given four options for her life. 1-Abortion 2-Let her die without seeking treatment after her birth 3-Do heart surgeries which have 75-85% chance of survival 4-Seek a heart transplant. Faith had a very good chance for life, BUT they would have let us allow her to pass away, die because of lack of treatment. And they felt that parents had the right to decide that. I can't imagine choosing that, but it was an option. Yet Abraham Cherrix has a much less chance for life through traditional medicine, but his parents are found "neglectful" for seeking other forms of healing. What's so different between a 16 year old and a 16 minute old?
The Cherrix family is appealing today. Abraham was ordered to go back to the hospital tomorrow to resume "treatment".
Are you comforted that a judge can force you to do a certain type of treatment for your children if they ever get sick? I'm not.

My busy life!

2006-07-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for your prayers for my family. My parents flew down to California this morning for my Grandpa's funeral. I was sad that I wasn't able to go, but very glad that I got the opportunity to go see him while he was still alive.
On the happier side, I am now in my third trimester of pregnancy and everything looks like it is going right along on schedule! We have an ultrasound tomorrow to check on the babies growth (hopefully that will be our last one since our insurance doesn't pay for our ultrasounds!). We are excited about seeing our little baby again and hope to confirm that this baby is indeed a girl! : )
When I hit the week of going into my last trimester I think something snapped in my brain! I have been "nesting". I can hardly stand to leave something undone that I want to finish before baby comes! I didn't think that this would happen this early! But it's a good thing it has because I have a lot to do before baby is born! I just ordered the first 89 pictures of Faith (from the first ten days of her life. That's right, her first TEN days) to scrapbook. I want to finish her scrapbook before this baby comes so I have a lot of work ahead of me!
I also have quite the sewing project planned! We bought an old antique cradle (really beautiful, when we get our new camera, I will post pictures of it). We love how it looks, but it is a funny size, meaning that no store bought mattress would fit in it! So I am making my own (simple) mattress pad and sheets and blankets for it. Did I ever mention that I have only sewn a couple of things my entire life? This will be an adventure!
I have also been planning a few hospitality things to host in my home for some of the young ladies I know. (a summer iced tea party, and another monthly event).
I am, as well, planning a Memorial concert in memory of Faith. A few people are performing songs they wrote about Faith, Joel and I are performing the song that he wrote for Faith from Psalm 139 that we used to sing to her, as well as a new slideshow of Faith, a worship time of singing songs we sang to Faith, and sharing about Faith's life. So, in the end, I feel quite busy! But a good busy!
I am working on some writing projects right now, that hopefully will be able to be posted pretty soon.
So there are a few of the things that are going on in my life right now (which helps explain my lagging behind in my posts recently!). But I should be posting more frequently now. : )

update on my grandpa

2006-07-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

Hello blogger friends,
I just wanted to let you know that I will be back to blogging shortly. My Grandpa Don passed away this morning and while I am glad that he is with Christ and other family members (such as my daughter, Faith) in heaven, I am going to miss him a lot. I am also very disappointed that he didn't live lone enough to meet his new great-granddaughter while here on earth. My husband and I were planning on taking a trip to California (where my Grandpa and other relatives live) as soon as possible after she was born so that he could meet her. But God had other plans. I would appreciate prayer for my extended family.
I also wanted to let you know that I have decided to stop the Spiritual Disciplines series for now as well because of lack of time. As well as the fact that I realized it was going to take me a very, very long time to blog through and I didn't want to be stuck with the same topic for a year!
Thanks and be back soon!

Why focus on the home?

2006-07-10T10:55:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share an encouraging quote from the book, Biblical Womanhood in the Home edited by Nancy Leigh Demoss. For those of you who have read this blog for a while, you will remember that I stirred up a little bit of controversy when talking about Proverbs 31. My intent was and is not to lay down guidelines that I think you have to follow to be a woman of God, but I would like to look at Biblical principles that help us become more godly women. I do think that living out these principles will look differently in varying situations and families. BUT, what I am trying to fight against is the attitude I often face when trying to talk about serving others through our homes. A common response is ridicule to cooking, cleaning, sewing, and other more home related activities. But let's not get up in arms over the actions, but let's look at the heart attitude. The following quote helps capture a little of the heart attitude that I am aiming for.

"The redeemed helper whose covenant sensibilities have been honed understands the importance of the virtue of domesticity and the ministry of hospitality. But she knows this is more than baking her own bread and having a beautifully decorated home. Domesticity means a devotion to home life. It seems to me that the more definitive statement of domesticity was made by Jesus when He said, 'Do noe let your hearts be troubles...... In my Father's house are many rooms.......I am going there to prepare a place for you' (John 14:1-2)
Domesticity means that we prepare safe places where troubled hearts can find rest and comfort, and we involve our daughters in this ministry in our homes and in our churches. In a must-read book for every woman, nineteenth-century pastor John Angell James said, 'Whatever breaks down the modest reserve, the domestic virtues, the persuasive gentleness, of woman, is an injury done to the community.' "
How to Raise Feminine Daughters, by Susan Hunt

Yes, I want to have a clean house and make good food for those I love. Yes, I think that it is a worthwhile pursuit. And yes, I want my home to be a place of peace and rest for troubled hearts. So, yes, I do think that putting time and energy into making a home is an important part of our Christian femininity.

Gone for the next few days

2006-07-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

I will not be posting for the next few days as my husband and I are flying down to Southern California to see my Grandpa who is very sick in the hospital. Please pray for him and our family. I hope that you all have a good weekend.
Kimi

Spiritual Disciplines, part four: Bible Intake, part three (meditation)

2006-07-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or is it really hard to take things slowly? I am a "list" person. One of my favorite things to do is to make up a list of all the things I need to do and happily check them off as I get them done. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to see what I have done on paper. This was helpful for me in the past when I was in school, and is helpful for me now in getting housework, book work, and cooking done. But that mindset creates a problem for me. I am trying to be efficient and so therefore try to get the most accomplished in the shortest amount of time which includes how I view my devotional time! Read the most the fastest you can! But as I learn more about the spiritual disciplines, I realize that I will need to slow down in order to let God accomplish more in my heart.
Meditation is ones of the spiritual disciplines that definitely takes at least some decent amount of quiet time to be effectual. I have already benefited in the last few days by simply reading less and thoughtfully thinking through the text. But I am getting ahead of myself. What is Christian meditation? I found this section very helpful from the Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian life.

"In addition to these distinctives, let's define meditation as deep thinking on the truths and spiritual realities revealed in Scripture for the purpose of understanding, application, and prayer.
Meditation goes beyond hearing, reading, studying, and even memorizing as a means of taking in God's word. A simple analogy would be a cup of tea. You are the cup of hot water and the intake of Scripture is representing by the tea cup. Some of the tea's flavor is absorbed by the water, but not as much as would occur with a more thorough soaking of the bag. In this analogy, reading studying and memorizing God's word are represented by additional plunges of the tea bag into the cup. The more frequently the tea enters the water, the more effect it has. Meditation, however is like immersing the bag completely and letting it steep until all the rich tea flavor has been extracted and the hot water is thoroughly tinctured reddish brown."
Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 44
I found the above definition and analogy very helpful in understanding what I was trying to accomplish through meditating on His word. The wonderful thing is that we are promised so much benefit from meditating on His words to us! Here is one example.
Psalm 1:1-3
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sin in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."

I want to be a" tree" that is fruitful and healthy and prospers in all spiritual aspects. But I have to drink from the streams of water of God's word through meditating "day on night" on His word. What an exciting reason to delve into meditating on the Bible.

Here are some helpful hints Donald Whitney gave in his book for how to start.

Select an appropriate passage

Repeat it in different ways(putting a emphasizes on a different word each time you repeat the passage, thinking about what each word means)

Rewrite it in your own words-I have found this so helpful in really understanding and comprehending a passage. I have also found it helpful to rewrite a passage putting in an "I" for every command. For example:

James 2: 15-17 says, "If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself."
My personal rewrite would be:
"If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food and I say to them, "God in peace, be warmed and be filled" and yet I do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so my faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself."
This is helpful for the next point as well.....

Look for applications of the text

Pray through the text

Don't Rush-take time!

In closing, I found this quote very helpful in forcing myself to slow down.

"What value is there to reading one, three, or more chapters of Scripture only to find that after you've finished you can't recall a thing you've read? It's better to read a small amount of Scripture and meditate on it than to read an extensive section without meditation."
Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 44

One final hint of my own that I have found helpful, is to write out one single sentence or short passage during my quiet time and keep it near me throughout the day to meditate on during a slow moment.

________________________
How do you need to change your quiet time routine to better meditate on His word?

Facing the facts of this world with courage

2006-07-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

Some of you are probably familiar with the ministry of the Voice of the Martyrs. My husband and I receive their monthly magazine and it is always sobering and inspiring. It is good to know what our Christian brothers and sisters are experiencing and facing and it is inspiring to see their faith in the face of danger. But it can also be a little daunting when you see what they are up against. It can be daunting to see what you are up against in America too! I can tend to view this world with fear, so I found this section in their July magazine encouraging.

"When you turn on the news, don't be intimidated by the "facts". The facts are not the truth. In Numbers 13, the 10 faithless spies may have reported with "journalistic integrity"-the strong enemy, the fortified city, etc. Joushua and Caleb were the only ones who saw the facts in the light of the Truth. These two faithful were regardeed as idiots. The congregation tried to stone them. Then this terrified Hebrew nation voluntarily turned back into the desert to their death, blaming God in the process. If we wring our hands over the facts of a dangerous world and are diverted from presenting the Truth, we become capitives in the secular desert.
It is only the Christian who possessses a permanent eternal soultion. Do not turn around in fear to a self-inflicted desert banishment. Excercise the courage of Joshua and Caleb (Joshua 14. In verse 7, Caleb reconfirms to Joshua they had reported what was in their "heart" (KJV). In other words, they had reported their godly convictions. "
The Voice of the Martyrs, July 2006, Grasshopppers and Giants, by Dr.Tom White, pages 4-5

May I, and all of you, see this facts of this fallen world in the light of the Truth!

Good news

2006-06-30T15:11:00.000-07:00

I did my test this morning (wasn't super fun because I had to " fast" from the night before and then drink a really sickening sweet drink and then get poked four times). I was just able to call in for my results and everything looks just fine. Yah! Thanks so much for your prayers. It would have been really strange for me to have gestational diabetes considering my age and weight, but than again I didn't have much chance of having a HLHS baby either. I am very very happy not to have to deal with GD. For any moms who do have it, my sympathy goes to you after reading everything you have to do to control your blood sugar! But it was good to find out some of the information about preventing GD by eating a balanced diet. I already ate pretty healthy, but this has given me even more of a push for eating like I know I should.
Thanks for the prayers and thank you, God!

Pregnancy related prayer request

2006-06-29T10:49:00.000-07:00

I got a call from my doctor's office today informing me that my glucose screening test was a bit high and so I will be doing the three hour test to check for gestational diabetes. It looks like I will be going in tomorrow morning. Please pray that I don't have gestational diabetes and that everything comes out normally. If I were to have gestational diabetes, it would mean a very careful diet to try to prevent complications to the baby and her birth. It would also mean that I have certain risks for future pregnancies and also a greater chance of getting diabetes myself later in life.
I would greatly appreciate your prayers! Thank you.

Revive our hearts, modesty

2006-06-28T12:10:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let you ladies know that Nancy Leigh Demoss has been addressing the subject of modesty on her radio program. You can read the transcripts Here , under the dates 6-12 through 6-22.
Here is a little snippet from her discussion, where she talks about how, yes, it is hard to dress modestly. But that it is worth the extra work.
______________________________________

"By the way, one of the things I learned in my study was that in the New Testament times for a woman to buy a dress, it cost five to six hundred denarii.

One denarius was one dayÂ’s wage, so a year and a half to two years of income to buy one dress. That means that most women only ever owned one dress, and if they had two or three in a lifetime, that was a big deal.

Part of our problem today is that we have to have two or three dresses a day. It is true that itÂ’s more costly to dress teenagers and women modestly. But you may consider that one of the reasons the immodest, faddish clothing can afford to be so inexpensive is because itÂ’s cheaply made. ItÂ’s only going to last a season anyway, in terms of the fad and the style, and then itÂ’s out. So you throw it through the washing machine one round, and itÂ’s going to fall apart.

ItÂ’s worth investing in your wardrobe, to buy fewer items that are better quality, and classic styles that will be in style next year. They may not be the fads next yearÂ—probably wonÂ’t beÂ—but theyÂ’ll be stylish and classic and acceptable a long time from now.

So consider, it does take more money, and it takes more time and effort to dress modestly. But donÂ’t you think itÂ’s worth that additional effort to be the women that the men need us to be and that God made us to be in the body of Christ? I think itÂ’s worth it.

IÂ’ve been shopping with my mother, even as an adult woman, and oh, it was awful. My poor mother, bless her heart, was exhausted by the end of that day because there was hardly anything that would do for me. Â“ThatÂ’s too short. ThatÂ’s too low. ThatÂ’s too tight.Â” You know, it was hard.

But you know what? I have to, and you have to, know that we can face the Lord; so IÂ’ve gotten to the place where if I have to wear the same black skirt several days a week, thatÂ’s okay. ItÂ’s worth it to know that . . . I donÂ’t want the time or the effort or the money to be an excuse for giving up something as precious as modesty. Modesty is priceless; priceless"

Baby update

2006-06-28T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hello all! I just wanted to let you know that I had another check up today and everything is looking good! Everything seems to be moving on just normally (a very, very good thing). I am now 26 weeks pregnant, almost into my third trimester. Exciting times. Thank you, once again, for your prayers for this baby. We are continuing to pray for her health and safety when she is in the womb, for her to not be another breech baby (like Faith was) and for a successful VBAC with no complications. We will be having another ultrasound done in about two weeks, to check up on her growth. I will let you all know how that goes.
God is good.

Six rules for better eating

2006-06-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

Back to the food subjecct! I found an interesting article through another blogger (Sorry, I can't hat tip the blogger! I have forgotten who it was!) on the subject of eating better. I thought that it was very interesting. Read it Here
In short, here are the six rules given by Michael Pollan for eating better.
1-Don't eat anything your great-great-great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food.
(Yes, that means stay away from prepackaged food full of names you can't pronounce)

2-Avoid foods containing high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS
(Check labels, this stuff is in so many products!)

3-Spend more, eat less
(This is a new thought to some of us trying to be frugal! Spend MORE for LESS food? The point is, eat high quality food and don't overeat.)

4-Pay no heed to nutritional science or the health claims on packages
(Considering they are constantly changing their minds about what is healthy, I agree!)

5-Shop at the farmers' market.
(Here is where you often spend less and get a much higher quality of food! I am all for it! Food in season also has more nutritional value and you are supporting local farmers, very, very important!

6-How you eat is as important as what you eat. Americans are fixated on nutrients, good and bad, while the French and Italians focus on the whole eating experience

Check out the whole article if you have time!

Spiritual Disciplines, part three: Bible Intake, part two (Scripture memory)

2006-06-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

Alright, so you are now inspired to read your bible on a consistent basis. But how many of us have read the Bible and a few minutes later hardly remembered what we read? I will be the first to say that this has happened more times than I want to admit. It can be so discouraging! But the reason is because of my reading habits and not fully utilizing some of the different methods of not only taking in the Bible, but in retaining it. It does take more work (like anything worthwhile), but the results of doing some of these "methods" of Bible retention is well worth the extra effort.
In Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, by Donald Whitney, in chapter three (Bible Intake, Part two), he starts with Bible Memorization. Once again, I don't think any of us haven't heard that it is beneficial to memorize scripture. The question is, how many of us actually do this consistently? As Donald Whitney says, it comes down to a lack of motivation. I think that this lack of motivation stems from not fully realizing how much scripture memorization can change your spiritual life for good in exciting ways. Let's look at some of what Donald Whiney has to say about how memorization can benefit us to inspire us to do better in this area.
*Scripture Memorization Supplies Spiritual Power
"When the Holy Spirit brings a definite verse to mind like that [the Holy Spirit bringing back a memorized scripture in time of temptation], it's an illustration of what Ephesians 6:17 can mean when it refers to the 'sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.' A pertinent scriptural truth, brought to your awareness by the Holy Spirt at just the right moment, can be the weapon that makes the difference in a spiritual battle."
Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 38

*Memorization Strengthens your Faith
I know that personal experience that God, using memorized scripture, both comforted me in hard situations and gave me reassurance and boosted my faith in His promises. I had this happen when Faith was alive. We had memorized Psalms 139 during our pregnancy with Faith and God used it often as a reminder of His compassion, presence and sovereignty. Here is one example. It was the night before Faith was going to be transported down to California and I had gone to get a few hours of sleep that I so desperately needed. But I had a lot of trouble going to sleep because I was worried about her, was she going to wake up and need me? Maybe she was upset and insecure; was the nurse watching her carefully? But I knew that I needed to get some sleep and so I started praying to God and He brought back this verse, Psalm 139: 5 "You have enclosed me behind and before,And laid Your hand upon me." One of the things that comforted Faith was to be bundled up with one of our hands placed on her chest and God gave me a picture of Him doing that for me with Faith Felicity, enclosing her before and behind and laying His hand upon her. It brought peace and trust and I was able to get some much needed sleep. It did indeed strengthen my faith.

*Memorization and Witnessing and Counseling
How often have you gotten stuck in a conversation while witnessing or counseling because of a lack of knowledge of the Bible? How often have you held back from witnessing or counseling because you knew you didn't have a solid enough knowledge to be as effective as you wanted? Here is where memorized Scripture can be very helpful. I know that I have often realized my lack of knowledge when speaking to others. Let this be one more motivation to us all in our pursuit of memorizing scripture.

*A means of God's Guidance
"The psalmist wrote, 'you statues are my delight; they are my counselors' (Psalm 119:24). Just as the Holy Spirit retrieves scriptural truth from our memory banks for use in counseling others, so also will He bring it to our own minds in providing timely guidance for ourselves."
Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 39

* Memorization Stimulates Meditation
You can't fully meditate on a verse without memorizing it and we will be talking about the benefits of meditation shortly.

So are you more inspire to start memorizing? I know that I am once again reminded and challenged to memorize. I was doing really well a few months ago, but I have let it slip once again.
Donald Whitney gives us a few helpful hints in pursuing this skill (his suggestions in bold, my commentary following)

Have a plan-Memorize scripture helpful to what you are dealing with right now, or use a scripture memory plan. I have found it helpful to memorize whole chapters, but have also done a single verse or section that I particularly felt helpful to me. It can be helpful to have a goal as well. I found that trying to memorize *blank * amount of verses each week helpful in keeping me going.

Write out the verse-Very helpful! Just writing the verse out once helps greatly in jump starting your memory work. I like to write the verse out on a ring index card notebook so that all my verses would be together and I could easily review them together.

Draw picture reminders- A picture is worth a thousands words! I haven't usually done this, but I can see how it could prove to be very helpful. When I was in a class where we memorized scripture together, our teacher always required us to make little pictures to illustrate the verse. Mine were always pathetic as far as art goes, but it really did help me think through the verse and gave me a visual aid in memorization.

Memorize the Verse Word-Perfectly

Find a Method of Accountability
"Because of our tendency toward sloth, most of us need more accountability onScripture memory than on other Disciplines. And the busier we are, the more we tend to excuse ourselves from this commitment. "
Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 42

Review and Meditate Every Day
What's the use of memorizing a verse one day never to review it again? I have found that the longer you have reviewed a verse, the better it sticks. It can be overwhelming going through a huge stack of verses that you have already memorized, but at least that's a good problem! I have found it better to find a system for reviewing verses once I have memorized a significant amount. I think that if, once again, you are motivated enough, you will find a way that works for you to review.
_____________________
Stay tuned for meditating on God's word!

2006-06-26T17:50:00.000-07:00

Hello all! Please check back tomorrow for (God willing) the next post on the Spiritual Disciplines. We have had a very busy week, but I am hoping to get back on schedule tomorrow! My husband had his students recitals this last weekend for his studio and I went to a very fun all day birthday party (in between recital days) for a special friend, so I have been quite busy!

Feeling moody?

2006-06-21T14:49:00.000-07:00

Lady Lydia, over atHomeliving helper , had a great post about mood swings. If you suffer from "grumpiness" and allow your moods to control you sometimes, go check it out. Here are a few of my favorite parts.

"Researching moods meant that we often got to the bottem of the bad mood, discovering the things that created bad moods, and correcting them. Sometimes a foul mood came from unrealized goals, lack of accomplishment, a disorganized room, unfulfilled obligations, unfinished tasks, disprespect to parents and siblings, or unreconciled relationships. Lack of worthwhile things to work for, can also result in frustration and create moodiness. Everyone should have something they are intensely interested in, or different things that have a noble end, to work for.

We also discovered the physcial aspects of mad moods, such as low blood sugar from not eating often enough or poor nutition, lack of sleep, worry, depressing movies or reading materials, too much attention to daily news broadcasts (where they loudly tell the public over and over of some assault, crime, or failure of mankind) unwise spending, lack of good use of time, dressing in a depressing way, or despressing decor. As we corrected these problems, we bgan to have the kind of rapore in our family that other people, peeking in, wanted to duplicate in their own lives"

And

"Today the talk shows and even the web encourages "rants" and letting it all out, no matter who it hurts. Are we any better for it? Are we more at ease, less upset, for "venting?" People do great damage to others and then claim, "I was frustrated." While this is understandable, we can still be frustrated and "sin not." We can feel angry, moody, pouty, and so forth, but we don't need to foist it on the rest of the family. This kind of rudeness seeps into our government and our court system. People get away with horrendous crimes because they were "in a bad mood," or "frustrated.""

And my favorite part......

"One test we took, while learning to "school our feelings," was to do something, some task, or attend some social function, even serving our own guests, in spite of our mood. It had an interesting effect. The more we did what was on our list of daily duties, in spite of our moods, the more in control we became of those moods. I attended a wonderful course on how to become more organized at home, when I was in my 20's. There, I observed that the women were learning to control their moods by controlling their homes. Instead of waiting til they were "in the mood" to clean out the refrigerator, they would wait until the date came up in the card file they had created, to clean the fridge. The mood was set aside, and the task was done, even if they didn't feel like doing it. When I learned this lesson, my moods stopped dominating me and depression failed to control me as much.

Another thing that really helped was the philosophy that life consisted of disappointments as well as happiness, and often the disappointments made happieness more enhanced when it came. Life was part good and part bad, and not always to our liking. However, we could eliminate a lot of problems just by controlling our moods"

Spiritual Disciplines, part two: Bible intake

2006-06-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

If you were raised in a Christian home like I was, you practically grew up knowing that you were "supposed to" pray and read the Bible from the age of one. It's like the three steps of a Christian life. You accept Christ, you pray and you read the Bible. It's one of the first things you learn to do as a Christian. Why is it that so many of us fail to do just that? When talking about the Spiritual disciplines, this is the starting point

"No spiritual Discipline is more important than the intake of God's word. Nothing can substitute for it. There simply is no healthy Christian life apart from a diet of the milk and meat of Scripture. The reasons for this are obvious. In the Bible God tells us about Himself, and especially about Jesus Christ, the incarnation of God. The Bible unfolds the Law of God to us and shows us how we've broken it. There we learn how Christ died as a sinless, willing Substitute for breakers of God's law and how we must repent and believe in Him to be right with God. In the Bible we learn the ways and will of the Lord. We find in Scripture how to live in a way that is pleasing to God as well as best and most fulfilling for ourselves. None of this eternally essential information can be found anywhere else except the Bible. Therefore if we would know God and be Godly, we must know the Word of God-intimately. "
Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 24

I am sure that none of the above is new to you, but do you really live those truths out? If someone was to observe how much time and energy you spent on the Bible, would they think that you thought the Bible was valuable? If your passion for God was reflected by how much time you spent reading the Bible, how much passion would you be reflecting?

Donald Whitney gives three basic ways to improve your intake of the Bible.

*Hearing God's word
Through a local church once a week, through tapes and CDS, through podcasts (you can get many, many churches sermons through this free service). I often listen to John Piper or Nancy Leigh Demoss while doing my chores or other activities. It would be great to listen to while driving to and from work or while doing errands. We have so much available for our growth! Let's put it to good use.

On attending a church on a regular basis:
"One other text worthy of note on this subject is 1 Timothy 4:13. There the Apostle Paul instructs his young friend in the ministry. 'Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading Scripture, to preaching and to teaching.' Though a lot more explanation could be given, it's enough to say that it was important in the ministry of Paul and important to the Lord, who inspired these words, for God's people to hear God's word. Since this is so, it should become a disciplined priority for us to hear it. If someone says, 'I don't need to go to church to worship God;I an worship Him on the golf course or at the lake just as well, if not better, than in church,' we may agree that God can be worshiped there. But the ongoing worship of God cannot be separated from the word of God. We are to discipline ourselves to go and hear the Word of God. "
Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 26

*Reading God's word

How is your Bible reading going right now? Are you consistently seeking God through His word? Does it seem daunting to you to read through the entire Bible?
Here is some encouragement for you:

"Do you realize that tape-recorded readings of the Bible have proven that you can read through the entire Book in seventy-one hours? The average person in the united STates watches that much television in less than two weeks. In no more than fifteen minutes a day you can read through the Bible in less than a year's time. Only five minutes a day takes you through the Bible in less than three years. "
Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 29

It's really not as hard as it seems. All we need is a little motivation and discipline. Over at Be Not Conformed , Mrs. R is reading through the Bible in a month! Wow. But the amazing thing is how little time each day it really takes to do that. You don't have to be reading the Bible all day to accomplish that goal. Just yesterday I finished reading the Bible through. I had wanted to read the entire Bible through before this baby was born and actually got done a few months early! The other encouraging thing is the more you read, the more thirsty you get for His word and the sweeter it gets. Not to say there aren't days of blahness and with no motivation. But overall, your hunger for God's word grows as you discipline yourself to read His word. It is a pleasure not a drudgery.
But it's good to have a plan of action for reading through the Bible, otherwise you will get bogged down. There are excellent reading plans out there. You can also do what I did and read 2 to 3 chapters in the New testament and two to three chapters in the Old Testament. I found it really helpful to not read straight through, but have different starting points.
But we shouldn't just read the Bible, we should....

*Study God's word

It's just to easy to read the Bible without really understanding the text. We shouldn't read the Bible just like we read a novel, but like how we studied our biology in High School (or for some of us, how we should have studied our biology!).

"Why do so many Christians neglect the study of God's Word? R.C. Sproul said it painfully well: 'Here then, is the real problem of our negligence. We fail in our duty to study God's Word not so much because it is difficult to understand, not so much because it i dull and boring, but because it is work. Our problem is not a lack of intelligence or a lack of passion. Our problem is that we are lazy.'
Besides a laziness, part of the problem for some may be an insecurity about how to study the Bile or even where to begin. Actually, starting is not so difficult. The basic difference between Bible reading and Bible study is simple a pencil and a piece of paper. Write down observations about the text as you read and record questions that come to your mind. If your Bible has cross-references, look up the ones that relate to the verses that prompt your questions, then record your insights. ....."
Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 32

So here are three ways to improve your intake of the Bible, through hearing, reading and studying God's word. How are you going to seek to improve in these areas? I don't think of us can say we don't need to grow in these basic ways of improving Bible intake. We will never stop striving towards doing better. God be with you on your quest!

Spiritual Disciplines, part one: Why?

2006-06-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

Susan sat in a great hall, nervously waiting for her turn to go on stage and perform her Rachmaninoff piece. When her turn came, she stumbled through the arpeggios, hesitated on the chords, forgot the ending and left the stage in tears. She knew what was wrong. Instead of faithfully practicing she had been lazy the past few weeks. It showed in her performance. She knew that she had no one to blame but herself. She vowed to do better in practice before her next performance.

Jon's little brother barged into his room without a knock and started shouting about some new discovery. Jon became impatient at the loud interruption and rudely replied. His little brother left feeling quite squashed and Jon winced when he realized how unloving his response had been.

Jeff sat on the bench at basketball practice while his coach lectured him on his lack of discipline. "Jeff, you have great potiential. But you aren't being disciplined enough to improve your game. You keep missing practices and only half heartedly play. If you want to play next week, you had better improve." Jeff, though smarting under his coaches words, knew that his coach was right. He wasn't improving because he wasn't putting enough effort into it.

Lily felt her heart beat a little faster when she saw that HE had e-mailed her once again. She knew that she shouldn't encourage him in his pursuit of her.........but after spending all of last week and the week before........and the week before that day dreaming about him.......... could she really let this opportunity pass her by? Her hands started typing a reply.
Tom got another e-mail that day as well. He knew what type of site it was enticing him to go to by the racy title. He was alone in the house and no one would ever know. He paused, agonizing over whether to delete the e-mail or open it.
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What do these examples have in common? Some of them are examples of a lack of discipline in regard to a certain skill. The others are examples of a lack of discipline in our spiritual lives. When we play badly in a sport or on an instrument, do we blame our coach or piano teacher for our lack of practice? We know, if we are at all honest with ourselves, that our lack of skill is only a product of our lack of discipline. But when we sin against a family member, go down a wrong path in a relationship, or lust, do we link it back to our lack of spiritual discipline?

Many of us are very willing to spend hours practicing an instrument or dribbling a ball to improve our skills in an area, but are we willing to put serious time into being spiritually disciplined as well? Does learning how to be a virtuous violinist compare to learning how to be a godly man or woman?

So why should we would be interested in the spiritual disciplines?

"Whatever the Discipline, its most important feature is its purpose. Just as there is little value in practicing scales on a guitar or piano apart from the purpose of playing music, there is little value in practicing Spiritual Disciplines apart from the single purpose that unites them (Col 2:20-23, 1 Timothy 4:8). That purpose is godliness. Thus we are told in 1 Timothy 4:7 to discipline ourselves 'for the purpose of godliness.' The Spiritual Disciplines are the God-given means we are to use in the Spirit-filled pursuit of Godliness. Godly people are disciplined people. .......I've never known a man or woman who came to spiritual maturity except through discipline. Godliness comes through discipline. " Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 15

So the answer to my question "why should we be interested in the spiritual disciplines?" is, for the purpose of godliness in our lives. But, you might ask, isn't God the giver of godliness? It's only through Him we grow, not through our own works, right? Right, it is only by His grace that we become more godly. But that doesn't mean that we don't have any responsibility!

"So on the one hand, we recognize that even the most iron-willed self-discipline will not make us more holy, for growth in holiness is a gift from God (John 17:17, 1 Thessalonians 5:23, Hebrews 2:11). On the other hand, we can do something to further the process. God has given us the Spiritual Disciplines as a means of receiving His grace and growing in Godliness. By them we place ourselves before God for Him to work in us. " Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, page 16

So as we look at some of the different spiritual disciplines, don't forgot the purpose of our discipline (godliness) otherwise you will get discouraged. And as you continue to grow in your walk with the Lord with times of failure and lack of discipline, cling to Christ and His blood. It is through His blood that our failures are atoned for and it is through His blood that our efforts towards becoming disciplined are helped.

A new series, the spiritual disciplines

2006-06-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt discouraged over your lack of godliness? Have you ever grown frustrated by your indwelling sin? You have been, once again, given an opportunity to bow before Christ and recognize the power of His blood and forgiveness. But Christ's blood does not only hold the power to forgive our sins, but also enables us to grow more godly. Through His grace we can discipline ourselves for the sake of godliness.
I am going to be starting another series. This time on the topic of Spiritual Disciplines. As boring as the word "discipline" can sound to us, the spiritual disciplines is one of the most exciting undertakings for us as Christians. Yes, it does require discipline, but the rewards are great. I will be doing a post based off of each chapter from the book, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S Whitney. I will be sharing quotes and thoughts from him as well as my own. I hope that it can inspire some of you to buy and read this book. It is excellent. Most of all, I hope that it can inspire all of us to be more disciplined in pursuing godliness.

"Ours is an undisciplined age. the old disciplines are breaking down.....Above all, the discipline of divine grace is derided as legalism or is entirely unknown to a generation that is largely illiterate in the Scriptures. We need the rugged strength of Christian character that can come only from discipline." V. Raymond Edman, The Disciplines of Life

Transplants, Sovereignty and Prayer

2006-06-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

While on the topic of medical dilemmas for Christians, I wanted to share something that I had written on Faith's carepage during Faith's life. It was really hard for a lot of people to pray for a heart to come for Faith when they knew that it would mean that another baby had died. Can we pray for that? We also struggled with this issue. When we noticed that others were leaving messages for us mentioning this fact. we felt it was wise to address this topic for our prayer partners sake. As we didn't have much time to write, it is short, but hopefully sheds some light on the topic.
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We also wanted to address the very sensitive issue of the fact that Faith, if she receives a heart, will be given life by a baby's death. It was something we had to wrestle with, in our prayers. We know some of you have as well, by your posts. There have been some truths that have comforted in this. The Psalm that we have been comforted by for Faith, also applies to every baby, including the babies that end up dying. "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16"
Your prayers are not causing another baby to die prematurely so that Faith can live. That baby's days were all preordained before this world came to be. If Faith does not make it, we are assured that she lived the full amount of days God ordained, and if she gets a heart we can be assured that the baby who donated its heart lived his full amount of days as well. So how we pray, is that if another baby is going to die within Faith's time period (which we have seen happen in this NICU, and happened for the previous offers of hearts which had to be turned down), we pray that:
1. It would have the right size heart for Faith, 2. That the heart would be able to be transplanted, 3. The parents would have the grace to be able to have their baby's heart transplanted.
It is very sad that anyone's baby dies. We do live in a fallen world with a lot of suffering and heartbreak. Joel and I see it every day in a dramatic way, not only with Faith's suffering, but the babies and parents around us. There is no getting around the fact that a heart for Faith gives us hope, when it only gives pain and heartbreak to another. Please do pray for that baby's family.
I am only thankful that a doctor (Dr. Bailey who still does transplants for Loma Linda Hospital) decided to take the suffering of one family, and give hope to another. Without a heart transplant or a miracle, Faith will die, but through the sovereign death of another child and the grace of his or her parents, Faith may be given life. Heart transplant is using a death, the consequence of our sinful world, to save another baby's life. Without it, both babies would die. Now one of them has a chance. We hope this helps. God bless you all!

A medical dilemma for Christians

2006-06-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

I found a post on Doug Philips blog
talking about a woman who was kept alive after she was declared brain dead so that her unborn baby would have a chance to live. After the baby was born, they took her off life support and the women passed away.

This is a hot topic for Christians right now and it should be. We believe that humans were made in the image of God and that life is sacred. But we do face a dilemma as modern medicine has made it possible to support life earlier (premature babies) and later (keeping those alive who would have died long ago if left to "nature"). When do we need to just let them go?

Doug had some interesting points to make about this whole issue. A lot of what he said, as a Christian, I would agree with. The secular world does not value human life. That is evident in many of the "medical procedures" our world does today. Human life is sacred. But I do disagree with some of what he said. When talking about the "brain dead" woman, this was his take on it (which was in comparison to what the secular world thinks of her).

"But here is another perspective: a soul-inhabited woman who was very much alive, though having suffered a cerebral aneurism which resulted in 78 days of severely diminished brain capacity, delivered a baby yesterday. After the birth of the baby, the value of mother's life was deemed by authorities too insufficient to justify the emotional and financial cost of continued care during her handicapped state. The decision was made to kill her by depriving her of basic life support during her time of need. Sometime after life support was removed from her body, she died, meaning that for the very first time, her spirit left the body and was ushered into the presence of the Judge of the Universe. That same day her organs were then harvested for transplant purposes."

Let me say first off, I am very much on board in fighting killing those who are mentally challenged, have some birth defect, or just need some basic help, such as a feeding tube. As a Christian who does believe life is sacred, the thought that some of these people aren't worth saving is extremely offensive. Some of the first people Hitler killed were the mentally challenged and it should sicken us that they were not considered worthy of life. We do need to carefully watch our countries thoughts and seek to shape and bring change when needed. I appreciate Doug Philips call to that.

But I do differ a little in one way from him. I don't think that letting those die who are beyond hope is offensive. In "beyond hope" I mean those who the medical team does not feel has any chance of getting off of a breathing tube and needing other life support. A feeding tube is one thing, a breathing tube is quite another.

I went to the article that he linked to that talked about this medical case and while I could see his point in noticing about how they viewed the mother, it did not seem clear that she had any hope for recovery. Was it really so horrible of them to let her go? He seems to be implying that it was a horrible act of the family and medical staff.

Perhaps he has information sources that I am unaware of, but it seemed like she was in a pretty dire situation. I don't think that it is damaging to your faith in life being sacred to allow those to pass away in dire circumstances. Some may choose to allow family members to pass away because they know there is little hope and feel like their family member is not a medical experiment to be kept alive indefinitely.

As far as the line at the end of the paragraph, " That same day her organs were then harvested for transplant purposes". He is saying it in a way that is supposed to fill us with horror. As a mother of a daughter who would have been given life through a heart transplant, I do not view transplants as demeaning to life.

Perhaps this would be a better way to view this case,

"A woman, made in the image of God, gave birth to a premature baby by cesarean after her body started going through signs of stress. She had suffered from a rupture of a cerebral aneurysm which caused severe brain damage leading to being declared brain dead. For the sake of her child whom she was pregnant with, she was kept alive by the use of machines for three months until the baby could be safely born. As there was no hope for her to be able to recover, she was allowed to pass away after the birth of her daughter whom was named after her. While her family grieves for her, they are comforted with the hope of her daughter. Her untimely death has also given hope to others as the family donated some of her organs to other patients. "

I would encourage you to read the rest of Doug's commentary on this subject as he gives a lot for us to think about. But we must realize that not all cases of a family allowing a family member to pass away is like the case of Terri Schiavo.

Wrap up on food

2006-06-12T14:53:00.000-07:00

I have had a fun time talking about food this week and even a better time enjoying food! I thank God that He has so graciously provided food for me when so many people around the world do not receive adequate amounts. It pushes me, when thinking about food, to give more money to help relieve the sufferings of others. Sometimes when one is frustrated with finding nutritious food that tastes good, all it takes is a few sobering reminders of others sufferings to just be grateful for what God has given. So I think that it is fitting to end my little series on food with not only thanks for food, but a reminder to help those less fortunate than us.
I also wanted to make sure that I never appeared to anyone as thinking that I had somehow "arrived" in my quest of becoming a better cook and did everything right! Let's just say, I am still on a journey myself. This week I cooked a lot of meals, as usual, but not everything was as "healthy" as I would have liked. I got tired out on the weekend and so my husband and I got a few meals at restaurants. And, to top it all off, I had a major cooking disaster on Saturday night! I was making a few dishes for Sunday (we were getting together with some other couples in our church) and my dessert was chocolate pudding made with rapidura (a better choice sugar). I was happily cooking away later in the evening but trying to do to much. Stirring a pudding in a cheap pan and making a salad at the same time doesn't work well! I majorly burnt my pudding. It was sooooooooo bad. I took just a tiny little bite and gagged. I almost gave up right there and would have bought some cheap dessert on the way there except that 1-I had just blogged about how homecooked food speaks love and 2- We didn't even have time to stop at the store! My husband had church responsibilities that gave us just enough time to get to their house, without a stop on the way.
I was able to, with the help of my sister stirring, make the pudding again and it did turn out alright. Thankfully. That was the worst thing that happened, but I didn't do all that well in some of the small ways as well! I had just written my post about feeling inspired to slow down when I eat and guess who was the first person to finish her food on Sunday? Me! I guess that habit is going to take a little while to break..... (but hey, at least the ability to eat fast will come in handy when I have to with a crying newborn!)
All to say, don't feel condemned if you haven't arrived yet, because I think we are all in the same boat. : )

Enjoying food

2006-06-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

I have been concentrating on so many of the misuses of food this last week that I haven't been able to address food as for our enjoyment as much as I have wanted. This is actually the main reason I wanted to do a theme of food! This is where talking about food becomes fun. Food was made to taste good to us and sometimes we don't fully enjoy it. So I would like to look at how we can enjoy this gift from God more fully. This should be understood in the context, of course, that food shouldn't be an idol. We should be willing to fast on occasion, if health permits and God lays it on our heart. We should also be good stewards of our money and not spend inordinate amounts on food so that we can "enjoy" food more. But having said that, there is a lot most all of us can do to more fully enjoy food.

Take the time
Here is a concept that I have been reading about that has been really interesting to me. You may have heard about the new fad with French customs in eating. It's a way of life, really, that some authors are promoting for weight loss or maintaining current weight. While it was interesting to read about the weight loss concepts, I was mostly interesting in reading about their eating habits that would pertain to anyone, overweight or not.
I have a bit of a confession to make, I eat very quickly. In fact, I gobble my food often times. That's the embarrassing truth. But I have found out that this is very "un-chic" and definitely not french. The french, apparently, actually take the time to enjoy the food that is in their mouth. Wow, what a concept. I can eat a meal in, oh, 15 minutes for lunch, longer for dinner. French can take more than an hour to eat. They eat more courses, that are smaller than our one course; will savor their food instead of gulping their food; will taste their food before swallowing. They will even put down their fork between bites! As I was reading about their eating habits, I was realizing, although I often try to cook really good food, I don't take the time to really appreciate my efforts! I also realized that I was not fully enjoying God's gift of food when I didn't ...well......actually enjoy eating! So something that I have been trying out this week, is actually thinking about what I am eating. I take a bite and try to notice the interplay of flavors, the texture, what I like, what I don't like. I have certainly noticed and appreciated food much more than I have before. But I should mention that there are a few risks in doing this. The biggest one is that if it really becomes a habit, you could quickly turn into a "food snob". If you actually pay attention to all of the different aspects of food while you are eating it, you will want it to taste good! It's a lot easier to eat mediocre food if you are only half paying attention to it. I recommend that you balance out any food snob tendencies with love and concern for others. It would be very unloving to turn your nose up at your friend's house because it didn't match your taste buds approval! But that doesn't prevent you from learning to cook to fully satisfy your and your families tastes or to find restaurants that are worth enjoying.

Shape your taste buds
In seeking to enjoy food as God's gift at the same time as seeking to use food to nourish life, we can feel like we are trying to fulfill an oxymoron! Can you really enjoy "healthy" food? I would like to make one point here. If we are used to msg and sugar laiden food, more healthy food might not really bode well for us at first. But you do have some control over shaping your taste buds. The younger you are, the better. But at any age, you can get used to eating certain foods, in fact you can even learn to enjoy healthy food! For example, when I was 16, I was having some health issues. We ate a moderately healthy diet in my family, but were definitely not health nuts! My mother and I decided that I should go on a cleansing diet for two weeks. I couldn't eat any of my normal foods. I couldn't even eat honey! But the amazing thing is that after only half a week or so, my taste buds started adjusting! I have always loved, I mean LOVED bread and sugary stuff. I couldn't have any yeasted bread or sugar or honey. I would have thought I would have gone through withdrawal, but I actually started seeing certain fruits as really sweet and not missing sugary syrup on my whole wheat pancakes. I actually started enjoying my "healthy" food! The trick was that I was literally not eating any other food. If I had a donut halfway through the week, I would have had to readjust my taste buds all over again. I do have to say that I haven't been able to do this quite as successfully when I am pregnant. Sometimes my taste buds just won't budge! But I have been trying to get used to new, better types of food. It has been successful with many new foods.
My husband, when we were courting, wasn't really sure he liked my homemade salad dressing. He preferred his mothers. But after a few months of being married to me, with me slowly adjusting his taste buds at the same time as adjusting my recipe, now prefers my dressing to others. So if you feel like you just could never enjoy "nourishing" foods, perhaps all you need is a little reshaping!

Reconsider what healthy food means
If your opinion of healthy nourishing food is an all raw, no meat, low fat diet, I can certainly see why many would buck at the thought of enjoying themselves! Picture this instead: A table laid with a roasted chicken, mashed potatoes with cream, butter and salt with gravy poured over, green salad with homemade dressing and a vegetable steamed with butter and salt. Healthy or not healthy? I do think that butter, cream, and meat can all found in a healthy diet. If you are curious about why I believe that, you might find Nourishing Traditions, by Sally Fallon, to be interesting. I don't agree with everything and there are a few side bars that are a little new agey, but she has a lot of really interesting research quoted in her book. Regardless, I would certainly look into some of the typical health food and research whether it is really healthy or not. "Health" food and "good tasting" food don't always have to be at odds.

Pleasing your family and husband
If you are the primary chef in your family, you get to help shape taste buds and make nourishing meet enjoyment. It will be true that different families will enjoy different types of food. It is important to seek to find out what pleases not only your taste buds, but your families as well. If you and your husband have different views on what constitutes good food, there may be some adjustments that need to take place. You may need to give your husband and/or your children time to be able to enjoy certain dishes or ways of making things. One step at a time! It's okay to slowly improve food quality as your family learns to enjoy good food. One family might love legumes, another might hate them! Another may love brussels sprouts, another despise them. You don't have to serve anything just because it it healthy. It should be healthy and pleasing to the eye and taste. It is a journey to discover how to cook foods that are healthy, taste good, and look good. But it is an exciting journey!
May you have a wonderful week of enjoying food!

Enjoying God's gift of food in the right way, fasting and daily eating habits.

2006-06-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

Like all good gifts, food also must be under the dominion of Christ in our lives. We can have wrong habits with food that are expressing a wrong heart attitude. Paul, in Titus 2:7, instructed Titus to "in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds." Our actions and attitudes towards food come under that as well. There are many examples of how you can use food the right and the wrong way, but I will just bring up a few that I have been contemplating this week.

God is not only a God who calls us to feasts, but to fasts. Sometimes it is appropriate to forgo enjoying food for the purpose of seeking God. You often see the Hebrews observing fasts, especially when in dire circumstances, as an expression of their desperation for God's help. Jesus, we all know, fasted for 40 days and nights. And he expected us to as well for he said in Matt 6:16 "and WHEN you fast....." It wasn't "IF you fast...." A brief overview of why we fast would include some of these examples (taken from Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald Whitney)

Fasting should be done for a purpose.....
To strengthen prayer, to seek God's guidance, to express grief, to seek deliverance or protection, to express repentance and return to God, to humble oneself before God, to express concern for the work of God, to minister to the needs of others, to overcome temptation and dedicate yourself to God, to express love and worship to God, I encourage you to read Donald Whitney's book for deeper look at these different purposes of fasting.

I had read this book when I was younger and sometime afterwards a respected man in our church felt lead to call for a fast once a week for seven weeks. I felt like God was drawing me to join the once a week fast. I used the time to pray for others and their spiritual life (this would fall under the purpose "to express concern for the work of God") and humbling myself before God. I have to say that it was a rich time of prayer and fellowship before God. God blessed me through that time. As a side benefit, I found that the discipline of not eating for a day for the purpose of seeking God, helped me be more disciplined in other areas of my life as well. I can easily see how fasting could be used as a help to "overcome temptation".
Unfortunately, I was unable to do the full seven weeks of fasting because I lost to much weight. That is one thing that you have to be careful about with fasting, being in a good healthy condition to do a fast and making sure that you eat plenty the day after a fast if you are of a slender build. Fasting is not a drastic diet! It shouldn't be done for the purpose of losing weight.

The other time in my life where I fasted (as you can see, I have not fasted a lot in my life), was when we were praying for Faith Felicity, our daughter waiting for a heart transplant. My husband and I felt lead to pray for her with fasting, and even though I do not usually think fasting is a good idea for a nursing mother for her babies sake, we were in a desperate situation. We invited others to join us, if they wished, on the day of our fast and we were soooooo blessed with the many people who joined us. Although God did not grant our primary request, that He send Faith a heart or healing, He did strengthen us that day in our faith and trust in Him. Fasting is not a way of twisting God's arm into doing something. He didn't have to answer the hundred or more people fasting for Faith with a "yes", and He didn't because He knew of a better plan for our lives. But that fast did accomplish His will in our lives and in those who joined us.
So in our desire to honor God with our actions and attitudes towards food, we may sometimes choose to forgo eating for one of the above purposes. Food is a wonderful gift that sometimes we relinquish to seek God.

But this leads me to another aspect of food and eating where we can honor God.This will be especially directed towards the females. In our day in age, eating disorders are increasing. We, as a culture, have an undue focus on appearance and weight which, if we get caught up in it's trap, will cause eating habits that misuse God's gift of food.

Food is supposed to be eaten in healthy amounts to support good health and a healthy weight. You don't have to be labeled "anorexic" or look like a holocaust survivor to be guilty of having an undue focus on the amounts of food you eat. While there is nothing wrong with going on a diet to lose excess weight, it is wrong to be obsessed with eating small amounts of food when you don't need to lose weight. In fact, even if you do need to lose weight, it is not right to be obsessed with losing weight!

For example, how much do you talk about your weight? Or wanting to lose weight? Or what size you are? Or working out? Does this topic come up very much in conversations with others? If so, you know that it is revealing a heart that is to focused on appearances.

Or, perhaps you don't talk about it with others, but how much do you think about food in relationship to your weight? How often do you think about losing weight, or what size you are? Do you compare yourself with others? If you find yourself thinking about eating, or not eating, or eating small amounts instead of eating until full, your thoughts are revealing a heart that it to focused on appearances and weight.

There is a balance here. It's not wrong to not want to overeat, but it is wrong to let it consume you. It is wrong not to gratefully eat the food that God has provided for you in healthy amounts.

Proverbs contains many warnings against gluttony and that also is a misuse of God's gift. We are to enjoy food, to eat food, but not become gluttons in our eating habits. But I want to address the other side, the opposite of gluttony, because it seems like more and more of my generation of ladies deal with it.

What is at the heart of your desires in your eating habits? Is your first desire to honor God? Would you be willing to up your eating amounts to more healthy portions, even if you knew it would make you gain a few pounds?

The question we should ask ourselves is, what is most important to us? Our idea of a perfect figure or a willingness to use food to support health and life. As women, our eating habits will effect more than just us if God grants us children. If we are not eating enough food during pregnancy or nursing (and if we haven't before we got pregnant), our children will be effected as well as us. We have a special responsibility in our eating habits.

But think of it this way as well, when we unduly censor our eating we are preventing ourselves from enjoying God's gift! We are the loser in not accepting food as the gift it is.

So in enjoying God's gifts of food, we sometimes may need to choose to forgo it for prayer, but we may also need to eat more to honor Him in our eating habits. Regardless of what your particular sinful eating tendency may be: not eating enough, eating to much, eating unhealthy food, or ______you fill in the blank, God's grace can help you work through any sinful desires.
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Have you ever considered doing one day of fasting for the particular reason of seeking God? Why or why not?

Do you have an undue focus on your weight and appearance that effects your eating habits? ( Is that an idol in your life?)

Have you allowed food to become an idol in your life where you are unwilling to curb an overactive appetite to lose weight?

If you do have any wrong attitudes towards food, are you willing to seek putting food or personal physical appearance in it's proper realm?

Food in its purpose to nourish life, part two: enemies of nourishing food

2006-06-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to make a few points on why it can be so hard for us to eat nourishing foods. There are many, many factors to this, but I think there are a few that are particularly relevant to most of us.
So what are the "enemies" we usually face in our attempts to eat nourishing foods?

1-One huge enemy of nourishing foods is prepackaged food and restaurants.
Most of us probably use some type of prepackaged food. I personally don't use a ton of stuff and try to cook from fresh ingredients as much as possible, but I certainly do use some canned food (tomatoes especially). Fortunately, not all prepackaged food is bad. If you do a little research, read labels and spend a little time on it, you can often find a better source for certain food items. For example, I use Pomii tomatoes which have nothing added to them (no MSG, preservatives, or sugar). My husband and I do enjoy going to restaurants on a somewhat consistent basis, but try to pick the best, or healthiest of the ones available. We also try not to go to often so that our main source of food is purer.

But this is the main point, you aren't going to be able to control what goes into your food if it is prepackaged or you are eating at a restaurant. If you want control over the quality of your food-if you want to make sure that all of the ingredients really are nourishing your body, like God intended food to do- then making it yourself will be the best way to ensure that. That is something that is almost a revolutionary idea to many of us- making everything from scratch? Which leads me to the next enemy of good food.

2-Enemy number two: lack of time
We, as Americans, are often so busy rushing around that we really don't have time to think about cooking. Let's all admit that cooking from scratch on a consistent basis is going to take a little more time. Some of us, if we really want to cook nourishing foods-if that is really important to us- will have to sacrifice a few outside activities to accomplish that goal. The encouraging thing is cooking from "scratch" doesn't mean that you necessarily have to cook fancy meals every night. Sometimes is can be really simple: Brown rice, steamed veggies, roasted chicken breast.
If you did want to make changes to your eating habits, read a few books on how to meal plan simple food for the week. Even if you are stuck in a busy life right now, you can make improvements! But there is also a third enemy of nourishing food...

3-Lack of knowledge and skill in food preparation
While most of us can crack open a cookbook and follow instructions on making a nice meal, not all of have the ability to do that for three meals a day all week and not get overwhelmed. It's one thing to make one homemade dinner a week, it's another to keep it up 7 nights a week.
While even the best cooks can get tired on that type of schedule, those who have actually practiced doing that will learn tricks to doing things quickly as well as learning tricks in meal planning and shopping. It is a lost art.
I have had a few people scoff at me for considering cooking and baking an art. They would say that it's something anyone could do. I agree, but to do it well , you must become skillful. And don't you think that this is a lost skill, on a whole, in our society? I think it went out the window with traditional femininity. But regardless of why or how it happened, a lot of us will reach our twenty first birthday without being skilled in cooking.
Oh sure, most of us would be able to, like I said, follow some recipes and manage to make some nice things. But the art of cooking, the ability to make a variety of delicious breads, to cook with what you have and not be confined to a recipe, to be able to plan out many meals in advance without overwhelming yourself, and other important aspects of food preparation-this art is often much harder for us to master.

I admit that I am still in the process of learning these skills myself, in making my food preparation an art, And like I shared before, there were times when it was simply not possible for me to cook for myself, family or others. But my goal is to be
able to cook good, nourishing foods, without stress. What is your goal?

The other aspect of making food yourself that is so wonderful is the feeling of accomplishment. Opening up a can of soup and eating it with a piece of store brought bread isn't going to give you the same feeling as having made it yourself and serving it to those you love. While I must hasten to say that I don't think it's wrong to serve food store bought and once again, I have myself in certain seasons, but I would be amiss to not say that if serving premade food is the goal or the typical dinner for you, you are missing out on a wonderful world of good, nourishing food.

So may I give you a little encouragement? Use God's gift well, learn to cook!
____________________________
I have a busy day ahead of me, but hope to return today to share about how we are misusing food by not enjoying it! Come back soon for that!

Food in its purpose to nourish life, part one

2006-06-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

Like all good gifts, we can, in our fallen world, twist a good gift from God and turn in into something bad. There are many ways in which we can use food the wrong way, but I want to talk about just one aspect today.

We probably can all agree with the idea that God created us dependent on food for life. In agreeing in this, we are saying that food nourishes us. A definition of nourish would be: "providing food that supports life, health, proper growth, and good condition". We also can all most likely agree that not all food is equal in supporting life, health, etc.

Let's take an obvious example. You are hungry and decide to have a snack. In the fridge you can find apples, cheese, carrots, milk, and other nutrient rich foods, but instead you pull out a snickers bar loaded with sugar, artificial flavors, hydrogenated oils and other lovely ingredients. And its all wrapped up in a colorful package with the words, "Hungry? Grab a snickers" on the side. Is that Snickers bar the best choice in fulfilling food's purpose of nourishment? Probably not.

The point is obviously this, we should make sure that what we eat is really achieving its rightful purpose.

Before anyone thinks that I am judging others, let me just say that I am very far from perfect in my own eating habits. I have a sweet tooth and I love white bread (though I don't indulge that much in either, I do to often). So I am speaking to myself here! And also, keep in mind as I continue that food should also taste good since it was given to us for our enjoyment. But more on that later.

But let's think about what God gave us. He gave us fruits and vegetables, which when grown in nutrient rich ground, will be full of vitamins and minerals as well as calories for us. He gave us grains with wheat, oats, millet, rice and others. And (though I know some Christians disagree with me on this and that's okay!), He gave us milk and meat through the animal kingdom after the flood, providing protein and needed fat. So there are a few of the main categories of food given to us from God.

So what have we done to it?

Well, let's take cows milk for example. We picture a peaceful scene with several cows grazing in green fields, being milked morning and night to provide rich milk for others to enjoy. Healthy happy cows and good milk. Pretty picture, isn't it? How about many cows crowded into a grassless, muddy pins, grazing on straw and other grains, being given growth hormones (that get into our milk) which make the cows sickly. They are then pumped full of antibiotics to combat their infections. After which, they are milked without very much concern for keeping the milk clean since it will be pasteurized after all. So poop (yes, poop), and blood and pus (created from the injections of hormones to get the cows to produce more milk) taint the milk. But don't worry, the milk is then heated up to a high temperature, (killing off enzymes and changing the milks structure), so all that poop, blood and pus shouldn't hurt you. Milk, anyone? I don't know about you, but I would rather have milk from the first picture. Lest this turn into an ad for raw milk (which, while it does seem the better choice to me, does come with it's own risks as with anything in life), let me go back to the main point. God gave us cows made a certain way, able to produce a certain amount of milk, created to graze in green pastures, except for winter. Do we really think that we could improve on them? We have taken a good thing and turned it into a not so good thing.

But let's go on to a more commonly known way of "improving' what God has given us. Picture a beautiful field of wheat. Then picture the grains being crushed and most of the nutrients being stripped from the grain. The grain is then milled but we are still not happy with it, it's not very white. So we bleach it. But then we aren't happy with it because it is devoid of any nutrients (or life giving properties), so we add chemically created vitamins and minerals (that may just produce more harm than good). And we call that food.
When God said, "It is good" over His creation, it was not over a bowl of bleached, stripped, wheat flour. But that's what we tend to do.

Even with the infamous sugar, we have taken something that was not necessarily bad for us, in reason, (the sugar cane) and processed it so much that we have derived it from all the good minerals and vitamins it could have provided for us.

So again, we come down to the question of: if food was created to maintain and give life, what food would best fulfill that purpose? I obviously believe that we shouldn't tamper unnecessarily with God's creation. But people will have different conclusions to answer the main question. The important thing is that we try to answer it! If we happily chow down on food full of refined grains, hydrogenated oils, preservatives, and chemicals on a daily basis, do we really believe that we are using food the best way? Is this, indeed, not a misuse of some of God's gifts to us as humans?

So this is my challenge to myself and to you. Look at your eating habits. Where do you need to improve so that your food actually fulfills its purpose of nourishing you well? If you are like most of us, you will find many ways that you don't eat the best. But take things one step at at time. Do you eat a lot of white bread? Start choosing whole wheat. Do you eat whole wheat bread full of unnatural substances? Either find a source for bread baked without it (such as at many bakeries) or consider baking your own.

To finish, let no one feel condemned if they are in a position of not being able to eat as well as they want. I have had my own seasons in my life where that has definitely been the case. When I was sick with both of my pregnancies, I ate a lot of food that I did not consider the best but didn't have much choice since I wasn't cooking. After Faith was born there was no way I was going to leave her at the hospital to go spend a few hours in the kitchen making food, so we just tried to eat the best we could. And that's all anyone can ask you, do your best.

Baby update 6/6

2006-06-06T14:24:00.000-07:00

For those of you who come to my site for baby news (instead of hearing me talk about food!), I went into my prenatal appointment today. Everything looks really good! I am right on track where I should be, am feeling the baby move quite a bit (she's active!), and am getting excited about this little one. We have started looking at baby clothes again and I cannot even express how nice it is to look forward to bringing a baby home, to feel like we should be able to have a healthy baby, if willed by God. It's such a different feeling for me after going through the stress of being pregnant with Faith. Another praise report is that it looks like my placenta "moved "out of the way for delivery! This is very exciting since it could have caused problems in the birth of our new little baby. Thank you all for your continued prayers. We still appreciate them and are so blessed knowing that others pray for us and our baby girl.

God has been good through the good times and the bad times.

A fancy meal to bless my husband with.....

2006-06-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

Last night, after writing my post about how food can be used as a way of showing love to others, I decided to do a special meal for my husband to express my love and thankfulness to him. I always cook from scratch, so a homemade meal is not unusual. But I tried to make this dinner special. I carefully set out dinner table with champagne glasses -for apple juice : ) , and fancy water glasses with lemon. I picked some fresh flowers out in our yard and put them in our nice handmade pottery vase. Our menu, which I served in "courses" included......

First course: Green salad with bacon bits, boiled eggs and carrots, with a red wine vinegar and extra virgin olive oil dressing.

Second course: New England style clam chowder served with homemade, freshly baked rustic bread and butter (served in individual butter dishes)

Drinks: lemon water and apple juice

Dessert: fresh cut strawberries served with homemade creme anglaise sauce.

He was surprised and enjoyed the food very much. I had a little card at the table for him, telling him that it was a special dinner for him just to say" I love you and I am thankful for the wonderful husband you are to me". I think that he was blessed by the obvious preparation and time I spent in getting everything together for him.
I, by the way, had the greatest time planning a surprise meal for him.

But you don't have to just do this for your significant other, you could easily do a special meal for any family member or friend. While there is nothing wrong with serving store bought food, there is nothing like homemade food to express gratitude and love.

God has given us a wonderful gift with food, let's use it the right way by serving others with it!
_______________________
Stay tuned for a post on how we can misuse this gift

Why food?

2006-06-05T11:10:00.000-07:00

We don't have to go far in the Bible to come across food. In Genesis, in the Garden of Eden, we find that Adam and Eve are surrounded by food. It was created for a perfect world. But why did God create food? Everything that God does is rich with meaning and I can think of several reasons (though I am sure there are more!) for the creation of food.

One reason is to show our dependence on God. We would die without food, plain and simple. We are absolutely depend on food for life. Since God is the one who sends the rain and the sun, it is to Him that we depend on for food. You know, God didn't have to make us dependent on food. It could have been something for us to enjoy, but not depend on. Think about it, no one could starve if we didn't have to eat food! Blights could sweep across our fields, but we would be only disappointed, not destitute. Humanly speaking, it seems like there are a lot of advantages to not needing food. But it was not good in God's eyes to create us that way. I think that part of the reason is for a daily reminder of how much we need God.

It also gives God a pathway of explaining what He is to us. When Christ said, “I am the bread of life." John 6:48, it means He is the nourishment of our days, the life-giving one. Bread is a symbol of life. If we didn't have to eat, we would not understand the significance of that simile.

The second reason God gave us food is for our enjoyment! God could have made us dependent on food, but made food tasteless to us. You can see in how He created us, with taste buds and desires, that we were created to enjoy food. We all have that favorite food that seems to satisfy even more than our stomachs. Food tastes good! Perhaps, being sometimes rather stupid, we needed to have a desire for food otherwise we wouldn't eat. That is what's so wonderful about God and how He created us. He made us able to enjoy things! He created us in a way that food gives us pleasure as well as nourishment. Food was given to us for us to enjoy.

I think that a third reason God created food was to give us an interdependence on each other and a way of serving others with love. When we were born, we were dependent on someone else to feed us, otherwise we would have died. Think of how helpless a baby is and think of how beautiful a picture a mother feeding her child is. She is literally giving life, through God's goodness in His design. This does give much power to parents and some do abuse it. But in that power is also the beauty of serving. In feeding a baby, in giving life to a baby through nourishment, you are demonstrating just a little picture of what God does for us. He sustains us and gives us life.

But this is found among us adults as well. You walk into a house and it is filled with the smells of homemade bread and soup simmering on the stovetop. Most of us will associate those delicious food smells wafting in a house with a loving home. Why? Because the one who created it, worked over a hot stove, was showing love to those it was cooked for. We don't always "think" this is exact words, but we do feel the love that goes into homemade meals. That's why we tend to show special love to others with food. For example: the plate of cookies for the neighbor, the meal made for the family with the sick mother, the husband bringing his wife to a fancy dinner, a wife making her husband's favorite dish for his birthday. Food was the center of all those gestures of love. We see this idea demonstrated in Song of Solomon 2:4 "He has brought me to his banquet hall, and his banner over me is love." Bringing his bride to the banquet hall to feast was a way of showing his love for her.

You see this in serving others who are not your spouse as well. If someone came to your house, in past times, you immediately offered them food. For example, in Genesis 18, when the two angels met Abraham on the road, he hurried to Sarah to have her make food for them. It was a way of honoring and serving your guests. Don't we still know that today? If we are at all considerate with our guests, we offer them refreshments.

We also associate not giving food to others as rude and mean. Take the story of Jacob and Esau (Genesis 25), we know that Esau was "despising" his birthright by selling it for food. But we also think that Jacob is not showing brotherly love and service by refusing him food. We automatically think that Jacob is "low" in this action.

God often uses food to show us his love for us as well. I already mentioned Christ being the "bread of life". God also gave us a picture of His love for us in the Old Testament in Psalms 23, one of the most beloved psalms. He "prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies." It is a picture of God's love and provision for us.

We also see Christ's love for the multitudes in his feeding the crowds and his disciples. He had compassion on the hungry masses and did a miracle by filling their stomachs with just a few loaves of bread and fish. We feel His love for the people in this gesture. His first miracle was involving wine for a wedding. After his resurrection, we find him on the beach cooking fish for his disciples. Once again, we see His love for His disciples in cooking them a meal.

Finally, we see that food is often used with celebrations in the Bible. God was not just a God of fasts but of feasts as well (check out the Old Testament for a whole slew of feasts). The people of Israel would celebrate with food! Abraham made a feast for the day Isaac was weaned. God ordained many feasts in remembrance of His awesome deeds. In the book of Esther, the Jews feasted with joy when they found out they would be able to defend themselves against their enemies. A wedding feast played a big role in celebrating weddings in Jewish towns. And we look forward to our own "wedding feast" when Christ comes back for His bride. A full banquet table full of happy people is a picture of joyous celebration.

In Luke 5:33-35, we find Jesus under question for his and his disciples habits of eating. " And they said to Him, “The disciples of John often fast and offer prayers, the disciples of the Pharisees also do the same, but Yours eat and drink.” 34 And Jesus said to them, “You cannot make the attendants of the bridegroom fast while the bridegroom is with them, can you? 35 “But the days will come; and when the bridegroom is taken away from them, then they will fast in those days.”

Jesus, in feasting with his disciples was giving a picture of celebration, for the Son of God was with man. On the flip side, fasting is a picture of distress and longing.
Don't we know that today as well? What would a birthday part be without food? Or a holiday without special food? Celebrations and food go hand in hand.

Food is truly a gift of God that will, it seems, continue even into eternity!

My theme for the week......

2006-06-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

It is with much fun and excitement that I announce my "theme" for this week's posts! FOOD! This week, I am going to be posting on the topic of food, talking about what we see in the Bible in regard to food and how that relates to us today. I admit that I am definitely a good food lover and being pregnant makes me think about food even more! This may seem like a funny topic, but it really is an important one considering that we all depend on food for our existence and our attitudes towards food effect us everyday. Like every other area of life, our thoughts on food should also be Bible based. Keep tuned! I hope to post my first installment later today and hopefully post everyday following for a week!

Violence in films and TV

2006-06-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

Piggy-backing off of my last post, what about violence in movies? When, if ever, is it appropriate? What about TV shows talking about murders and murderers minds? Is this a good thing to fill our minds with? Kristen, had some interesting posts about violence in movies. I would encourage you to read it. She has quotes from reviews of certain horror movies and her own good commentary.
Nations sick obsession with horror
More thoughts on realism and ultraviolence in films

Here is one of her many thought provoking point

"A Clockwork Orange has many brutal scenes--horrible scenes I don't want to describe to you (I saw the movie as a teenager)--that are, as Steven describes, accompanied by light-hearted music and performed in a humorous way. (The word "ultraviolence" was coined in this film.) While I see the point that Steven says Kubrick is trying to make, I also think that movies like this cast the villains in a sympathetic light: audiences are inclined to laugh at the horrific rather than have the natural reaction (which would be, uh, horror). They are inclined to like the bad guy and root for him rather than reject or hate him.

This can be said for countless films where the villain is more interesting and sympathetic than the hero, or where the villain is the hero. At the extreme end--the Saws and Saw IIs of the world--the audience laughs when they see terrifying, realistic suffering."

Does anyone want to share any thoughts or personal standards they have for movies?

Holocaust, depravity and dependence on God

2006-06-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

How is that we humans can be so depraved? History is full of human committing so many atrocities against others. We are all capable of so much evil and it is only God's grace in our lives, His work in us as Christians and His common grace to all mankind, that we aren't all murders.

As I was contemplating the evil of our hearts, I realized that with the first sin, we became capable of any evil. In the very next generation, Cain became so overcome with envy and bitterness that he slaughtered his own brother. He didn't grow up watching violent movies and playing video games, but he became the first murderer. He didn't need any outside source to influence him to do wrong, the source was found in his heart. Through the Bible you see that humans are capable of much evil, and you see it in more recent history as well.

A few months ago, I read a few books on the holocaust. It was a grim reminder of the evilness of human hearts and what we are able to do. It can be so shocking to realize what men can become used to doing. How could a loving father kiss his children and wife goodbye, and go to "work" and start slaughtering other's children? How is this possible? Simon Wiesenthal, a Jewish man that miraculously survived the holocaust and spent the remainder of his days hunting Nazis, said, "These man were often good family men, good fathers. They gave to the poor. They loved flowers. But they killed people. Why? Because they had the idea that they did not need to think. Hitler would think for them. Not one was born a murder." Perhaps they were not thinking through their actions, but I think that if we understand the weight of sin, the depravity of man, we would reach the conclusion that we are all born capable of every evil, including murder.

But as image bearers of God, made complete with a conscience, we often do have to start down a path of sin to reach the point of being able to commit great evil. People have often questioned how it was possible for men to systematically kill off millions of people without a flinch of the eye. It was true that they weren't "born" able to kill without a thought, but often underwent a process to reach their sickly depraved end.

For example, Nazi Germany did not just randomly put men in charge of death camps. Not only was there years of building hatred and animosity towards the Jews before the war, but at the beginning of the war they literally had a training camp for those they wished to put in charge of their camps of death. You wouldn't immediately be put in charge of pushing fellow men into a furnace. They knew that it would be too much for most men and that they would crack. Instead, you might just be given some office work to do at the "hospital" where you eventually found out they were killing retarded and other "undesirable" people. It might be shocking to find this out at first, but you knew that you couldn't complain or you might be the one killed. Step by step you would move up the ranks and be given more responsibilities, and see more of what was really happening. Soon you would be the one setting up the gas rooms and herding the helpless "patients" to their death. If, at any time, you couldn't take the evilness of it any more and complained, you were told the only way to transfer out of this line of work was suicide. Some of the men who were responsible for killing the most Jews came from a situation such as above. It was a slow process to learning how to become a killer. Other men found their own path without any outside help, but just followed the evil desires of their heart all by themselves.

I share this dreadful story not to discourage, but to say this, isn't God's grace good and don't we need Him desperately? We are entirely dependent on Him to accomplish good. We are not able, in and of ourselves, to accomplish good and turn from evil. It is very sobering to learn what men are able to do in the sinfulness of their souls, to learn what we are able to do. But if we turn from this sobering fact to dependence on God, then we have learned a good thing. It is foolishness to believe that we are able to keep ourselves pure and accomplish things on our own without God's help. It is foolishness to believe that we are not capable of doing evil. If we have such confidence in ourselves, than we will put ourselves in compromising situations, not believing we would ever fall. But if we see the evilness that we are indeed capable of, we will more carefully guard ourselves and rely on God's strength instead of our own weakness.

It's also important to notice the process in which the world gets used to certain ideas. It can be so slow that you hardly notice. You see this in our culture. We went from it being literally illegal to buy any form of birth control to it being legal to abort, to kill your unborn baby. It was one step at a time. (I am not saying that I think all birth control is evil, but simply showing how far our thoughts, as a whole, have changed in our country). Our culture is always working to change our views, but not suddenly, but subtly. A little compromise here and little change there and we hardly notice. It was the same with the Nazi leaders. They slowly infiltrated their ideas and ideals into the mindset of Germany until they were able to take over.

As Christians, we need to not only be dependent on God, but we need to seek Him for wisdom in being as wise as serpents. We need to be looking out for how our culture it trying to change viewpoints and morals one step at time. Like a toddler testing the limits of a parents. Our culture is always testing the limits of our morals. How far will we go?

New Attitude '06

2006-05-31T09:03:00.000-07:00

I'm back! My husband and I, as well and the other 22 people from our church, got back safely from New Attitude. We were so blessed by this conference. If you didn't know, it is a conference geared towards young adults (college aged). My husband, being the brother of the man who started the conference( Josh Harris), has gone to all of them.
What we love and appreciate about the conference is their heart for giving life changing truths instead of creating a artificial conference high. In fact, Josh Harris usually gives an ending message concentrating on how to take back these biblical principles to "real life". We have been greatly impacted through the years by the teaching we hear at this conference. If anyone is interested, they have a site for the conference where you can read a few posts talking about the different sessions. Check it out: New attitude

May I give you two encouragements?

Consider buying the sessions on line. We were told at the conference that all 7 of the main sessions and all six of the breakout sessions will be available for only ten dollars! This is an incredible deal.
You will get to hear very godly men share some deeply impacting Biblical truths including, Josh Harris on Rediscovering humble orthodoxy. What does that mean? Here is a quote from the NA website explaining it.

"Humble Orthodoxy
Let’s be honest, even as Christians our hearts are constantly redefining truth to suit our own purposes. Instead, our lives should adopt a "humble orthodoxy" – commitment to live according to unchanging truth.
For instance: the Church is where the gospel is lived out on a daily basis. The Church was created for this. That's a primary truth of scripture. The Church can’t be redefined to be anything other than what God intended for it to be. Sure, churches can be all shapes and sizes, from a Gothic Cathedral in Rome to the basement of a house in China. They may even vary in denominations and style. But the purpose of the Church and its message of the gospel never change."

CJ Mahaney did a wonderful message on the gospel which was one of my favorites. Sounds simple, right? We have all heard the gospel numerous times, but this message gave me a new passion and gratefulness for the Cross. We can never be beyond this message or hear it to many times.

Mark Dever did an incredible job showing the "theme" of the Bible, giving us the big picture. Excellent!

Plus four other great sessions.

In the breakout sessions, there were many incredible session, but as I could only choose one, I went to Al Mohler's session dealing with a Biblical view on sexuality and how that relates to homosexuality. It was very helpful in understanding this issue.

Joel and I will be buying these messages so we can continue to learn from these men as we listen to them again. On the sovereign grace online bookstore , they already have the main sessions available for only seven dollars. We are expecting that they will soon have the complete set available.

My second encouragement is if you are a single young person, consider going next year! Joel and I hope to attend (even though we aren't single), because the messages are so good. AND it looks like John Piper has agreed to speak next year. This is truly exciting. This conference is well worth the money and time investment.

Gone for the weekend!

2006-05-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

My husband and I will be attending the New Attitude conference this weekend, so I won't be blogging again until wednesday. I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend!
Kimi

Prayer, Healing, and Trust

2006-05-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

When Faith was diagnosed with her heart condition, I started thinking about prayer more than I had ever done before. Joel and I prayed for her healing and knew that many others were praying for the same thing. But, unlike some, we didn't feel like our faith was measured by how many of our requests God answered with a "yes".

When you read a passage such as: Matt. 21:21 "And Jesus answered and said to them, “Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ it will happen. "
You can feel this pressure to be "mountain movers" otherwise you will have proven your "doubt". If someone is sick, you pray for healing, thinking in the back of your mind that if God doesn't heal this person than you are at fault because you don't have enough faith. Or if you want that new job, or need money, and pray for God to bless you in a certain way, than there is this mindset that God will answer with a "yes" as long as you do your part and have enough faith.

I am certainly still on a journey of learning more about prayer but God has given me peace about certain aspects of prayer.

First of all, I never felt like if God didn't heal Faith Felicity that it was because of my lack of faith. I knew that God could heal her in an instant and I knew that He loves to bless His children, so I prayed that He would. But I knew that God was not my genie in a bottle that would answer all my requests if I could only muster up enough faith. By calling Him my Lord, and my God, I am acknowledging that He has control and I am not god. He is the one who knows what is best, not I.

I also knew that anything that I asked that was lined up with His will for my life would be answered with a yes! 1John 5:14 This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." The problem is that we don't always know what is best and what His will is for our lives. That's where trust comes in. We pray for what seems best, but leave the outcome to God. This gave me peace because I knew that God heard my requests and would do what was best.

Another passage that really spoke to me during this last year was Luke 22:42, we find Jesus weeping and praying to God, waiting for the guards to come and arrest Him in the garden and we hear this prayer come out of his mouth, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.”

It first of all taught me to bow my will to God's and be willing to say "your will be done". But another important concept struck me from this passage. Christ asked for something, for "this cup" to be removed from Him, and God did not grant that request! So I concluded that it was not a sign of a lack of faith to ask for something and not get it. This also gave me peace and helped me rest in His arms of love. I knew that His will would be done and that if Faith was not healed that it was not a punishment because of my lack of faith but because it was His will for her and my life.

I think that this is a very important concept to understand. I have heard of many families being torn apart under the teaching of those who believe they can "accomplish anything" through Christ. (The problem is not in saying that anything is possible through Christ, because it is. The problem is believing that God will do whatever YOU want.) One husband and father got cancer and the family prayed and believed in healing for him until the very end. If anyone had faith that he was going to be healed, this family did. But God did not heal him, and the family was completely crushed and turned away from God because of it. They, to this day, are not walking with the Lord. The problem with their prayer was not that they prayed for healing and believed that God would do it. The problem was they left out "but your will be done".

This can come out in smaller ways as well. When I was reading Elisabeth Elliot's biography on Amy Carmichael, she recounted how, in Amy's early ministry, she would often be lead to pray for a certain amount of converts for that night of ministry. Her partners of prayer really rebelled at this, being afraid that it wouldn't be answered. But it always was answered. God had indeed laid a certain number of people on her heart for her to pray for, and He saved them on that night. But my question is, why would it be wrong to pray for a certain number of people to be saved and have God not grant it? Does God always have to grant everything we ask for? If you do feel that way, you will be like Amy's partners and be afraid to ask anything lest God not answer. This does not promote a good prayer life!

Finally, a verse that I have been working on memorizing is Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplications with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus."

We don't have to be anxious about anything, but we can, with thanksgiving ringing in our hearts, make our requests made known to God and have peace in Him, knowing that He knows all and will do what is best.

Weddings and Modesty, part two

2006-05-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

What can we do?
So what's to be done? It doesn't seem like wedding dresses are getting any more modest, in the secular weddings and the Christians ones. I doubt that designers are going to improve the necklines and skin baring styles that are so popular.

Personal change
I think that first of all that there needs to be a heart change. If modesty is not important enough to the bride then it's a mute point to try to offer any suggestions for change. A bride must take modesty seriously. The church as a whole must view a modest bride as the right thing, as something worthy of the gospel. If one starts with a heart attitude of wanting to be modest then it is easier to actually do a little extra work for finding a dress that is modest.

Is it possible?
A common complaint (or excuse) is that one can't find something modest. That's really not true. I admit that it's harder, but you can find modest dresses. The young lady, Lindsay, that I mentioned, wore a beautiful modest wedding dress from a Mormon wedding store. It's sad to say, but there are a lot more Mormon modest clothing stores than there are Christian. Many other religious groups take modesty more seriously than Christians. If you do a search on the internet for modest wedding gowns, or modest bridesmaid dresses, many, many sites will come up with a selection of gowns. I was able to find my dress through a regular boutique (it was probably the only one made by that company that met modesty standards!). Some people have their dress made for them and, even when they pay for it to be done, it's often not more expensive than buying one from a bridal store. The point is, if you want to dress modestly, you can make it happen. You may have to make sacrifices of certain things (not get that name brand you really wanted, or give up a little bit of style for a little more coverage). But what's more important?

Church Change?
I recently listened to Dr Al Mohler's radio show when he addressed this issue of modesty in weddings. You can listen to it here. I appreciate this brave man so much! In it, he was suggesting that churches have dress codes. Not out of a desire to be legalistic, but because it has become such a huge problem.
Our church currently doesn't have an official dress code, but our old one did. You weren't supposed to wear a dress that showed any cleavage or wear strapless dresses if you wanted to use the church for your wedding. The problem was that no one oversaw what ladies choose (and it would be much to late to ask them to wear something else the day of their wedding), so pretty much people wore what they wanted to. Because of all of us "free spirits" who like to do our own thing, oversight might be necessary to be effective in changing anything. Dr. Al Mohler was suggesting the use of some of the godly older woman in the church checking to make sure that dresses met guidelines before the dress was bought.
Of course, the unfortunate thing is that churches are even being forced to consider setting standards. If everyone did there own part in dressing modestly, this wouldn't be a problem. I think that regardless of whether or not the church should have certain guidelines, the church leadership should be making sure that modesty is being taught so that hearts can be changed.
In our family integrated church, it would be hard to do in an actual service because of the nature of the discussion, but it has been addressed in our ladies' meetings. The older woman teaching the younger woman (TItus Two). I don't know about you, but it is something that I need to be reminded of often. It is so easy to slip into thinking, "Well, it's okay. So and so wears clothes like this, or so and so was married in something like this.".

What would be modest?
Girl Talk recently did a post on this issue. I recommend that you read it. They quote a pastor sharing some excellent thoughts on this topic. But they also shared what CJ's standards for his girls were when they got married. I think that they are both wise and reasonable standards.

1. Find a wedding dress with a neckline that completely conceals any cleavage.
2. Avoid dresses without sufficient covering in the back.
3. Strapless gowns or dresses with only spaghetti straps are revealing and thus do not serve the men in attendance at your wedding.
4. A modest gown should not be excessively tight and draw unnecessary attention to your figure.

Or course, these standards should not be used to self-righteously judge others. But would be good standards to consider for yourself if you are getting married soon.

In closing......
Would you consider evaluating what you feel is appropriate to wear in weddings? Ask yourself if you would feel comfortable wearing this to a church service. Why or why not? Ask yourself what your motives are for wanting to wear certain styles. Are you seeking to glorify God in this area or yourself?

Resources:
Girl talks discussion on modesty, including modesty in weddings is found Here

Listen to Dr. Mohler's broadcast about this issue.

Here is a link to an excellent ebook entitled, Modeling Modesty, that Al Mohler's wife wrote.

Here is an convicting sermon on modesty that CJ Mahanney did at his church a few years ago.

Weddings and Modesty?

2006-05-22T10:21:00.000-07:00

My husband, Joel, was a groomsmen in a beautiful wedding yesterday. One of his good friends, Aaron got married to his beautiful bride, Lindsay. The ceremony was full of joyful music, anticipating Christ's marriage to the Church. Lindsay was a radiant, joyful, beautiful, and modest bride who truly was a shadow of that glorious day. Her bridesmaids wore tasteful, attractive and modest gowns as they stood up with her.

Lindsay was not modest on accident. She felt like it was important so pursued finding dresses for her and her party that would honor God. If any of you have gotten married recently, you know that you have to really work at finding a modest and attractive wedding gown (though I guess that's not any different than regular clothes shopping, now is it?).

As you know, my theme for this blog is being a nonconformist, or rather a Christian nonconformist. I want to be someone who does not conform to the world's standards but to God's standard. This will not always make me popular and what I want to address today is definitely something either ignored or heatedly discussed among Christians. Modesty in weddings.

As many of you know, I was married a little over a year ago and was then in a couple of weddings myself afterwards. So I got to walk through the whole wedding and modesty thing quite recently. I am thankful that not only had God put a desire in my heart and my parents for me to be modest, but He had given my husband, Joel, a strong desire for his bride to be modestly dressed as well. So we faced the question, what would be modest for me to wear in my wedding? And what would be modest for my bridesmaids? We basically decided that something I would not wear to church would be inappropriate to wear to my wedding. Something, that is surprisingly, not many people's standard. Don't we all know girls who show up on their wedding day revealing skin they never would have considered showing in a church service?

When I was talking to my husband about this issue, he was saying that it makes even more sense to dress modestly on your wedding day since you are going to be in front of everyone, with all eyes on you. Plus, and even more importantly, as Christians, we need to remember what we are representing. As Christians, we are always "on call" to be a good witness for Christ and that always includes how we dress. But when we take our vows we are a foreshadow of the Church, purified by Christ, being joined to Him. We should be representing the Church's purity, and that picture is hardly made when a young bride walks down the aisle drawing everyone's attention to her chest or other body parts. Is that really a faithful representation?

I think that the problem with girls, is that first we are used to seeing people "dress down" so to speak for weddings. We get used to the idea that you can bare more skin for weddings. It is more "acceptable".

Secondly, as a bride, you want to feel that you are beautiful and attractive. Sometimes, we can to easily fall into the trap of feeling like we have to bare skin to look beautiful. After all, the wedding magazines with headlines such as "being a beautiful bride," "beauty tips for your wedding day" etc. all show a lady immodestly dressed. We can equate dressing beautifully with the popular, skin-baring styles of our day.

The third thing that can be confusing is that God has made woman attractive and beautiful to men. It is something to be celebrated as a gift of God. But sometimes, often without realizing it, a woman will dress in a way that is appropriate for her husband's eyes only, not for everyone else's husbands to see. It's not that we should view the female body as disgraceful or dirty, but that we should view it as an exclusive gift to her husband. A young lady trying on a rather revealing wedding dress will see the beauty it shows without making the important distinction of what is appropriate to share with other people's husbands.
_______________________
to be continued.............

Is this what it means to be an adult?

2006-05-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

When I was attending a local community college before I was married, most of my classes did not deal with any sort of compromising material ( I was a music major, and did pottery and speech on the side). But being on the college campus, one can't help but hear and see what "adults" are supposed to be able to see and hear. For example, when you walk into the college library, they would post some of the best student photography on the wall in the walkway. I had noticed that often some of the these pictures would have girls pretty much just wearing their lacy underwear. I was always annoyed and disgusted. But it was nothing like my surprise of walking in one day and noticing they had a shot of a entirely nude lady standing in a burned out house. I didn't think that it was artistic.

I went to *one* writing class. I was getting really excited about the class as the teacher talked about what we would be going through, and then ended the class with a read a long. This, we were told, would commonly happen in our class time. I was not expecting that many or any of the literature we would be going over would have a world view that I would agree with. But I wasn't prepared for reading a trashy novel out loud together. It was one thing to know that a couple in the story was having an affair, it was quite another thing to have it graphically described. I never went back to that class. I could tell that other people were not comfortable reading the story out loud (especially the ones that had to read the graphic parts), but I don't think that anyone else would have complained or left the class.

I was also in the speech club, where, in competition, I often got to hear dramatic stories of watching the woman across the street through her window undressing, or hear a graphic story of someone getting raped. And these are supposed to be helpful to us how? As part of the speech club, at one point, I narrowly escaped having to refuse to do an interp about ladies being raped and abused. I wouldn't mind doing a speech about crime and how to cut down on rape cases, but I didn't think it would be helpful to hear a woman describing all the gory details.

You see, we are all "adults" now so we should be able to hear and read and see all that I have described above. We are "mature" enough now to see nudity, read graphic material, and discuss these issues in an open manner. If you bring up the fact that you don't want to see or hear such things, you are treated as if you didn't want to "grow up". It's "childish" to be pure. So not only do have to stand alone in your pursuit of purity of mind, but you are treated as an imbecile for wanting to be.

When one of my piano students wanted to take a college class as a younger teen (I think 15 or 16) she had to get permission from the teacher to enter because of her age. She was refused in one class because of the "adult material".
You see this in some of the controversies about movies and younger teens. Many are arguing that younger teens should be allowed to see movies containing nudity and other graphic material without their parents because "they already see that sort of thing in real life."

The problem here is not that young teens should be allowed to see "adult" material", but that our definition of adulthood and maturity should be differently defined. It's not a step up in growing up to see such movies or doing such things yourself, it's a step down.

I feel that as Christian adults, we need to be wise in setting a different standard for the younger generations of what it means to be an adult. I think that as a young person, you need courage to be different and willing to be pure even if you are reviled because of it.

Guest Post

2006-05-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hello all! I have had very busy week, but should be posting again soon. Meanwhile, I wrote a guest post for Beauty from the Heart on the topic of servanthood. These young ladies have a wonderful site, check it out when you can!

Who is to blame?

2006-05-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

Adam and Eve were hiding in shame with God sought them in the Garden of Eden. When God called Adam to himself and he admitted that he had disobeyed, what did he do next? Did he fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness? Did he express sorrow over what he had done? No. Instead, he pointed his finger to Eve, she gave him the fruit (implication: It was her fault), and she was the "woman you gave me", (implication: You were the one who gave this temptress to me. You are responsible). When Eve came before God, she also blame-shifted to the serpent instead of repenting.

Is it no surprise that we still have the same tendency? It started a long time ago, with the very first human sin. In fact, we are so used to blame-shifting that we often don't even realize what we are doing. We are so blind to this tendency, that we sympathize with other blame-shifters, and mentally pat ourselves on the back with pity at what others "caused us to do".

Example: One of my sisters and I got in a fight over chores when I was younger. Our argument gets heated and I sin against her in my anger. I raised my voice and spoke without love. We separate and God starts to convict me about my sin. I know I need to apologize *sigh*. So, I go to find her and start my apology as non-chalantly as possible. "I am sorry that I got angry and didn't speak nicely. It's just that you weren't listening to me, but I shouldn't have gotten angry." Apology was always accepted and everything forgiven, but I know that my sisters always felt that underlining reluctance to apologize and (did you catch it?) the blame shifting on them. Translation of my apology could easily be: "Look, I am sorry that I got angry, but it was YOU that caused me to sin. It was your attitude that made me angry so it's really your fault." Why did I even need to bring their attitudes into my apology? The only reason was to "save face". It takes a lot more humility to apologize simply for my sin, without reference to someone else's faults.

You get angry with your children, spouse, or parents. Whom do you see to be at fault, yourself or them? It's not to say that they don't have sin, but since when did that justify sin in your life? It never has in God's eyes, but we humans always try to fall back on blaming others. You sin sexually? You lay the blame on the other person involved. You have an addiction to drugs or drink? It's the person's fault who introduced you to the substance. You have anger problems? It's the fault of your upbringing.

It's not to say that upbringing, friends, or significant others don't have responsibility towards you and God. It's not to say that they don't have a huge impact on your life. They will be held responsible for leading others into sin. Jesus said that "Matt. 18:6 whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. " God makes it clear that we will be responsible for making others stumble. But, He never asks us to hold others responsible for our own sins! When we do so, we are simply trying to make ourselves look a little better and not admit the fullness of our sinful heart.

Sometimes, to make it even sillier and more sinful, we blame our sin on our sin. "It's not my fault! It's my sin's fault!" Sound unbelievable? It happens. You yell at your spouse and apologize? " I am sorry I yelled, I was just angry." And being angry justifies yelling? You get impatient and snap at someone. "I should have been kinder, I was just a little grumpy today." Being grumpy justifies your unkind words? If you are having a "bad day", any sinful behavior is apologized for with the addition of "I am just having a bad day". I have been convicted that I should apologize for my sin without any "justifiers" or blame-shifting.

There are two godly men in the Bible that we see respond to their sin the right way.We are told in 2 Kings 23: 25 that "Before him (King Josiah) there was no king like him who turned to the Lord with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his might." He sounds like a man worthy to emulate, doesn't he? How did he respond to sin? Near the beginning of his reign, he had sent money to have the temple refurnished. The Priests found a "book of the law" and sent it to be read to King Josiah. When he heard the word of the Lord and realized his and his people's sin he tore his clothes and wept and sought God. If he was like Adam and Eve, or like the modern man, his response probably would have been something like this:

"Well, you know, my father was one of the most sinful kings Israel has ever known.My background was pretty rough and my childhood wasn't a very happy one. And then, to top it off, my people are so incredibly sinful! It's all a guys to do, to stay away from those idols. I didn't know about all of these laws of God, (my father didn't ever teach them to me), so I am sure God won't hold me responsible for anything. "

But Josiah's response was the exact opposite, he took personal responsibility for disobeying God even though he was unaware of His laws. And God honored that. When Josiah sought God through a prophetess, this was the word of God to him. "because your heart was tender and you humbled yourself before the LORD ......and you have torn your clothes and wept before Me, I truly have heard you". 2 Kings 23:19
I think that we can safely say that God is not impressed when we blame our sin on anything or anyone, but that He forgives the humble of heart.

The second man that we see respond in repentance to sin is King David, "the man after God's own heart". He was, however, a sinful, imperfect man and sinned greatly with Bathsheba. You know the story, he saw her bathing, lusted after her, slept with her and then had her husband killed to hide his adultery. So he was now an adulterer and a murderer. When God sends a prophet to David in regards to his sin, David repents with tears and tearing of his clothes. We don't hear him blaming Bathsheba for bathing on her roof, or hear him talk about how the "pressure" of being a King was wearing him down. He knows he is wrong, and takes full responsibility.

David's sins were big sins, but Christ told us that anger is having the sin of murder in our hearts and that lusting in your heart is the sin of adultery. We should repent like King Josiah and David in regard to all types of sinful behavior and heart attitudes.

On the other side of this issue, we need to watch ourselves when talking to others. As humans, we don't need any encouragement to lay the blame of our own sin at someone else's doorstep. But we can help others do just that.

For example: Suzy comes to you and is crying over how impatient she can be with family members. What is your response? "It's okay Suzy, we all have problems. You are a great mother and wife. Children can be so aggravating sometimes." Is this really serving Suzy? How about turning her eyes, away from her sin and towards the cross? How about inviting her to take responsibility for her sin and lay it at His feet? She was sinful and she was wrong, and through Christ she can not only have hope for forgiveness but also for victory over her sins.

There was one time when I was talking to a young lady who was dealing with a lot of sexual sin. As I talked to her, I mentioned how my background and my parents involvement in my life was what helped me not be in the same situation and so I was not going to "judge" her for her sin. While it was good that I recognized that it was only by God's grace I wasn't dealing with the same issues, my words were not helpful, but hurtful to her. I was only helping her justify her sin. I should have humbly pointed her to God's word and His standard for her sexual life. Her background, peer pressure, and lack of parental involvement shouldn't have been the focus of my words. Her great hope in Christ should have been. I should have pointed her towards repenting, instead of helping her justify herself. (Please note, I wasn't very old when I was talking to her. Hopefully I would be a little wiser now in my response!!).

So both in your own life, and with your involvement with others, how do you deal with sin? Do you take full responsibility? Do you blame others or circumstances? Or do you humbly admit your full blame and repent at the foot of the cross. How do you encourage others in dealing with their sin? Do you point them to blaming others, or do you point them to God?

How do you respond to interruptions?

2006-05-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

Are you like me in this area? You have your little plan for the day, and then something or someone gets in the way. Frustration boils inside of you as you resent the "intrusion" of your day. I often concentrate on the other person and their actions or words, but never think about looking at myself. What is my heart's attitude in these situations? Often, I am revealing a selfish heart that is lusting after my own comfort instead of seeking to serve others.
How do you respond to the slow car in front of you when you are late? Or the annoying family member? Or____ you fill in the blank. How do you deal with those common and uncommon annoyances or disruptions?
This quote has a beautiful, helpful idea in changing your heart towards others and interruptions.

"I think I find most help in trying to look on all the interruptions and hindrances to work that one has planned out for onself as discipline, trials sent by God to help one against getting selfish over one's work. Then one can feel that perhaps one true work-one's work for God-consists in doing some trifling haphazard thing that has been thrown into one's day. It is not a waste of time, as one is tempted to think, it is the most important part of the work of the day- the part one can best offer to God. After such a hindrance, do not ruch after the planned work; trust that the time to finish it will be given sometime, and keep a quiet heart about it."
Annie Keary, 1825-1879

What makes a good mother? A tribute to my mom

2006-05-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

My mother holding her first granddaughter, Faith Felicity

In light of mother's day this Sunday, and taking the opportunity to honor mothers, I would be amiss to not honor my own mother. The following is a tribute I wrote in honor of her. We are leaving today for the beach and will be gone for the weekend. I might be able to get on the computer while I am gone, but I am not sure. Regardless, I hope you all have a wonderful Mother's day!

What makes a mother a good mother? What does a good mother's life look like? What actions and attitudes does a good mother display? I am sure that we could all have a slightly different response to these questions, but I doubt very many of us would respond that a good mother serves only herself. My mother was really good at using her hands to serve her family. I would like to share a little about the life of my mother and her service to us as a mother.

First of all, I think that it is important to know the underlining theme of my mother's life. My mother is a lover of God and she seeks to serve and honor Him with her actions, lifestyle, and attitudes. That is why she, instead of pursuing a lifestyle that would be the easiest and most self-serving, decided to become a mother in the first place. With motherhood came countless times of diapers, cleaning, burping, and disciplining. It probably didn't always seem like the most glamorous life and was tiring, but she never stopped using her hands to serve us.

One of the first things that she decided to do as a young mother was to stay at home with us. Because of her decision to do that, and my Dad's hard work, me and my sisters were given the security that only a mother can give. While, she did end up doing some part time jobs when we were all older, she was able to completely stay at home for most of my young life. My memories of my younger days are full of memories of my mother comforting me when I was hurt, helping me with my school work, and being a listening ear to my chatter. I am so grateful for the investment of time that only a "full time" mother can give. I am so thankful to God for making that a priority in my parent's hearts and opening the doors to make that possible.

My mother used her hands to serve us in the home. I remember her making countless breakfast, lunch, and dinners for us. I didn't always want to eat my vegetables at the time, but I am now glad for her shaping my taste buds to appreciate heathy food. One of my all time favorite snacks, was her homemade whole wheat bread, fresh out of the oven, spread with butter and homemade jam. It still makes my mouth water to think about it! It is no wonder that I ended up loving to bake bread myself? She also would sometimes sew special dresses for me. I had a several, favorite dresses that my mom had made for me. One time, she and another mom made matching skirts and vests for me and my best friend. We wore that outfit out! It was so fun.

My Mom also had to do the dirty work of the house and keep it clean. It's a good thing that no one had to pay her for all the hours she put into keeping the house up, because they would owe her a lot of money! But she didn't only try to keep the house clean, but she made it beautiful. She has a really good eye for decorating and so our house was always cozy and beautiful. It was "homey".

My mother was also willing to do something different than most if it would be better for us kids. While it certainly would have been easier for her to send us to public school, she decided that it would serve us best to be taught at home. This obviously meant a lot more work for her. So, to her other duties, she willingly took the task of taking our education into her hands. And she sought to do the job well. I was a very high energy kid, and I am sure I wouldn't have been able to learn as much at school because of it. When I was learning to read, I got really stressed and would end up crying. My mom felt like I was just not ready to learn that yet,( even though I would have been learning to read at that age in school) and gave me a few more months. Sure enough, as soon as I was ready I took off in reading and have been reading ever since! I love books. I am so glad that I wasn't frustrated at a early age in trying to learn to read when I was not ready for it. It could have ruined the pleasure of reading for me forever! My mother was able to find creative ways to teach me other subjects. I jump-roped while I learned the multiplication chart. I created a "school" to teach my stuffed animals my maths lessons. All of these happened because my mother homeschooled me. It is pretty widely accepted now, but when she decided to home school it was still a fringe movement and she got a lot of flack from others for her decision. But the most important thing to her was serving her children, not winning the approval of others.

My mom also would have fun with us. She (and my dad) would always be joking with us and creating happy, fun memories. She helped make our home a happy home.

So in answer to my own question, "what makes a good mother?", I say a good mother is a mother who sacrifices to serve her family. I think that my Mother is a good example of a good mother and I know that I owe her a lot of thanks and gratitude. Thanks, Mom! I love you!

In Memory of Faith Felicity Harris

2006-05-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

As mother day approaches, Faith comes even more to my mind. I miss her sweet smiles, her baby smell, and her trusting eyes. She was my brave little girl, that sometimes would only wince at a needle's poke instead of crying. She taught me a lot about love and endurance. She was my baby girl that captured out hearts. We miss you Faith Felicity!

The Strenuous Life: Motherhood, Part two

2006-05-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

Despising Motherhood as Women.....

The world has taught us to despise womanhood, including the aspect of motherhood. This is shown throughout the Christian churches. The Bible verses which honor, extol and exhort women in the home are overlooked or under-accomplished. Not only do we not aim to become a Biblical mother and wife, we scoff at those who do.
Let me give you a few examples of the prevalent attitudes of our day. We read how the Proverbs 31 woman spun her families clothes, but ridicule those who attempt to knit scarves for their family, calling it grandmotherish. We agree in theory that woman and men are dramatically different in nature and role but raise our eyebrows at those who choose to wear feminine dresses. Why? Because the world has taught us that it isn't cool to always dress like a woman. We look with disdain at those who choose to "waste" their lives by staying home to better serve their families. It can be a point of pride, with some, to have a un-motherly heart and attitude. We laugh at our lack of knowledge in regard to children, cooking, and cleaning instead of feeling shamed. Why? Because we have allowed modern ideas to be the filter with which we judge instead of the word of God.

....And As Men

Men also can display very "modern" attitudes towards motherhood. I know of many husbands and wives who have had strife in their relationship because the wife wanted children, but the husband didn't. He didn't feel that it was a worthy thing to pursue. Some were afraid that their wife would lose her figure if she had children. Now that's a great value system; my wife's curves is more important than children. Some men didn't want the responsibility of children because it would get in the way of their life style. Children do require sacrifice, money, time, and maybe even a few extra pounds on the wife, but a proper view of the worth of children will make those sacrifices seem minor compared to the benefits and joys of children.

Modern and Chic?

Many of my friends in high school thought that being in a support group that focused on helping young girls learn skills that would help them in the home was the epitome of uncoolness and avoided it like the plague. Why did they feel that way? It is true that the world does not think that being a "keeper at home" is cool. But isn't it true that the Bible differs in that view? What were my friend's judgement based on? Check your heart. Do you have some of these attitudes? Are you embarrassed to learn some of the home arts?

What about you?

What are your views about children and motherhood? As a women, do you believe that motherhood is a valuable work that God has blessed you with? Or do you think that motherhood is a hardship that God has cursed you with? Do you wish that you could be given something doing more important, more fulfilling? If so, you know you have been unduly influenced.

God's idea

When God created us to be a woman and gave us the job of being a helpmeet and bearing children, He knew that he was giving us a valuable, good, and hard work to do. He chose us to hold close to our hearts the future of the world. Do not despise this great gift, but cherish it. Do not believe the foolish ideas of this world. Do not think that it is easy or doesn't take brains to be a good mother. You can be a poor mother easily, but what does it take to be a good mother? The call of motherhood is a call to a fulfilling, important, and strenuous life devoted to doing good for God's glory.

The Strenuous Life: Motherhood

2006-05-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

Before you read this essay, I wanted to convey just a few thoughts to you. First, when talking about the worth of motherhood, it is so easy for those struggling to bear children to feel hurt in hearing about this topic. I just want to say that I know how you are feeling. Please understand that this was written after my my daughter, Faith Felicity, had passed away. I was the midst of great pain in losing her and wondering if God was going to grant me any living children to raise. But, it was the through the pain of losing her that I even more fully realized how wonderful a gift motherhood was. And it was, and is upsetting to have motherhood looked down upon. I understand the pain of hearing about motherhood when God has not chosen to bless you with children or healthy children. Some can't really understand what pain it can bring to hear about the "joy of motherhood", when you are in the middle of great pain. But let's not let our disappointment make us bitter towards viewing motherhood as good.
Secondly, I do have a few challenges at the end of this essay (this will be in the next post). Please take them as challenges to mindsets, not condemnation of anyone's dress code, or life style. So without further ado..........

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Part one:

Teddy Roosevelt felt strongly about not taking the easy road but doing difficult and hard tasks. He believed in pushing oneself for the good of the country. He despised weak people who did not try to accomplish anything important, but rather took life as it came. Some of his ideals and thoughts were presented in his essay called " The Strenuous Life". This essay, though centered on calling men to be men, also had some advice for the woman on how she could do a difficult and important task that would help our country.

"The woman must be the housewife, the helpmeet of the homemaker, the wise and fearless mother of many healthy children. In one of Daudet's powerful and melancholy books he speaks of 'the fear of maternity, the haunting terror of the young wife of the present day.' When such words can be truthfully written of a nation, that nation is rotten to the heart's core. When men fear work or fear righteous war, when women fear motherhood, they tremble on the brink of doom; and the earth, where they are fit subjects for the scorn of all men and women who are themselves strong and brave and high-minded."

Have you ever considered motherhood a difficult and strenuous task that is worthy of pursuing and honoring? Teddy is not the only one who has thought so. Throughout history, raising and bearing children was considered not only an important part of society, but one that was crucial to the well being of a village, city, or country.

I would like to show you a few glimpses of the past, a few glimpses of modern day attitudes and share a call to do hard things.

Old Testament

We all know the stories of the Old Testament. Was motherhood valued? Were children considered good things? Did the women of that time find their work of motherhood unfulfilling and unworthy of their attention? Not by any means! These ladies wept over barreness, prayed and sought God for children and rejoiced when God gave them children. When there was more than one wife, they fought over who slept with him that night. If you read the story of Jacob with Leah and Rachel you will get a little bit of the picture of how much they valued children. (Genesis 30). Rachel says, "Give me children, or I die!", and Leah "hires" Jacob for the night with mandrakes. While the attitudes of these ladies were not always right, they would rightly find our aversion to children or numerous children as ridiculous. Children were gifts from God, not curses. But it wasn't only the Hebrews that understood this, the secular world valued children as well.

Rome

Ancient Rome started to have some of the same problems as the modern world before it fell. In the early days, motherhood was highly regarded and many children were born. However as laziness and the desire to do as one wants became prevalent, woman stopped having children. Why should they be hampered by children? Children only got in the way. Women were looking to fulfill their own selfish desires and children did not fall into that category. Sound familiar? Unlike modern leaders, those ancient ones recognized the fact that this was a serious problem and their future was at stake. They started honoring those who did have children and even gave awards to women according to how many children they bore. Perhaps Roosevelt was right. The nation full of women who fear and avoid motherhood "is rotten to it's heart core" and was "trembling at the brink of doom". As we all know, Rome fell shortly afterwards.

Hilter

Let's fast forward a few years. Hitler is trying to take over the world. He kills those in the way and shapes the youth of the country into warriors of death. His ideas are brutal and very liberal. But even he knows the power of the womb. Tomorrow will be shaped by those born today. Nazi Germany set up a program honoring motherhood. They also give awards to women for bearing children. The more children you bear, the bigger medal you receive. They set up a baby parade where mothers proudly showed off their young. Hitler wanted to take over the world and he knew he needed babies, many babies, raised by mothers with his ideals, to accomplish it. Hilter was one of the most infamous men of all time, but he understood something that we have forgotten. Motherhood is not only important to a nation, but it is vital.

This wisdom has been known since the beginning of time, until now. You wanted a strong country that could defend itself? Have children. You wanted to make an impact on the world? Have children and raise them to believe what you believe. Having children was literally the life of a country and was therefore honored and revered.

Modern day

However, in recent years there has been an uprising against motherhood. We have been told that it is degrading work. We have been told that we can accomplish so much more by having careers. We are told that motherhood is not an important task or worthy of intelligent woman. We are told that woman could be so much more useful and fulfilled out of the home.

We, as Christians, know that the Bible commands women to love their husband and children and to be keepers of home , so we haven't entirely bought into the whole idea. But have we been influenced to think less of motherhood then God does? Have we been influenced to undervalue motherhood (which ironically even Hitler held in high esteem)? I would like to make the proposition that we have been more influenced than we think.
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Part two coming tomorrow!

Mother's day is coming!

2006-05-09T09:43:00.000-07:00

Speaking of being thankful, do you remember to show gratefulness to your mother? Now's a good chance. Mother's day is this Sunday! Don't let that day go by without making her feel that she is appreciated and loved! I will hopefully be posting something on motherhood this week in celebration of mothers.
But meanwhile, I know that over at girl talk , they are posting tributes to individual mothers written by one of their children. Very sweet stories.
I also know that over at Crystal's site , she is posting on motherhood as well this week.
(I have not yet found a guy's site that has anything to say about honoring mothers. Sorry, guys, you are a little behind. ; ) )
Be thinking about what you can do to honor your mother this weekend!

A lesson in thankfulness

2006-05-08T09:27:00.000-07:00

As we were approaching our ultrasounds last week, I was dealing with the fears of "What if it happens again?" in regard to having another baby with a heart problem. But God used those fears and that desperate seeking after Him to cement a lesson deeper in my heart that He has been teaching me these last few months; Cultivating a grateful heart. It is to easy in normal day to day life to have a complaining heart. "God, why haven't you sent me a spouse?" "God, why can't I get pregnant?" "I want a better house." "Why can't I be better looking?" "Why can't I be skinny?" "I wish I didn't have to work so hard." "Why does this baby cry so much?" etc, etc, etc. It is even easier to complain about tragic life circumstances, such as when we lost Faith Felicity. But God has been teaching me through His word that this attitude is not showing a trusting, grateful, heart to Him. Do I truly believe that He will work all things together for my good? Do I truly believe that He sent His only son to die for me? If I truly am believing this, I should have a constantly grateful heart to Him for all that He has done for me. I should be, like the Psalms sing about, rejoicing before Him! It doesn't mean that there won't be times of tears and sorrow. We do live in a hard, sinful world. Jesus wept and it's okay for us to as well. But that doesn't give us an excuse to allow ourselves to cultivate a complaining heart.
While I did, and still struggle, with not complaining about my circumstances, my loss has also taught me to be thankful for what I do have. After losing Faith, I realized more fully how precious Christ's sacrifice and blood was. It was by His sacrifice that Faith Felicity is in Heaven now. That brings so much thankfulness and joy to my heart! I think that sometimes, if we are dealing with an ungrateful heart it is because we are not reminding ourselves of the glorious Cross and what Jesus did for us. How can we remain unthankful with that in view?
But my loss also taught me to be thankful for what I have here on earth; my husband Joel, my extended family, my church, my health and housing. I have so much to be thankful for. God has truly blessed me in an amazing way and I don't want to overlook thanking Him for all that He has given me. I don't think that it would be honoring to Him to focus on what I don't have when He has given me so much. So, while I do grieve very much for Faith, I rejoice in her salvation, her life through Christ. While I miss her incredibly here on earth, I am thankful for the other gifts I do have here on earth. I am blessed. I want to say to you all that I am thankful for what God has done for me here on earth and, most of all, for saving me from a fiery hell. Isn't God good?

Check out these articles!

2006-05-06T21:07:00.000-07:00

For those who are single, Caroyln McCulley has some insight into evaluating Christian Maturity in a potential mate. Check it out here: Singles Q&A: Evaluating Spiritual Maturity Before You Date

As things heat up over the gay issue, a well respected Catholic adopting agency is literally shutting down because of this issue. Very very sad for the kids it could be helping and very scary for us as we think about what is down the road for those who oppose gay marriage. Banned in Boston

Ever heard of, or read the book, Open Embrace? It is a Christian book about not using birth control. They have recently had a change of mind!! with some of the aspects of their book. Read about it on their site, Open Embrace

Result of regular ultrasound

2006-05-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

Today we went in for our regular ultrasound to check on the baby's development. It went really well. Both for the heart echo and for this ultrasound we had very nice technicians (the person doing the ultrasound). Because they knew about Faith, they were great at reassuring us. They legally aren't really supposed to give us any diagnosis, but they can sure hint alot. ("Look at that nice view of the FOUR chambers of the heart"). We were very blessed to have such great people doing our ultrasounds.
But as far as they could see, everything looks great. Our baby is right on track for growth. The one thing that they want to check on at around 32 weeks is my placenta placement. It is quite close to my cervix right now which could cause complications during labor. They aren't too worried about it, but just want to make sure that the distance between the placenta and the cervix increases (which it normally does). (sorry, guys, for the details!)
And (drum roll please), we found out the gender of our baby! It is............a girl! We are excited to have another little baby girl.
God has been very gracious to us by allowing us to be the parents of another sweet girl. We are so relieved that everything is looking good right now and are hoping to have beautiful little baby to bring home in October. We promptly went out and bought a little girl outfit this afternoon. : )
Thank you so much for your prayers. We are so thankful for everyone holding us up.

Our culture of rudeness

2006-05-03T15:31:00.000-07:00

It seems like one of the many things that God has been opening my eyes to lately, is serving others with my words. I wrote a post entitled, Encouraging Words, a few weeks ago about some of the aspects of using our words wisely. Since then, I have been reading a very interesting book called the Benevolence of Manners, by Linda S. Lichter which takes a look at what we have lost since the Victorian era. It has certainly a challenge to what most think of as "Victorian". It would be an interesting study for anyone to be able to compare our society with theirs and see if we have really progressed or not. But a Christian especially should find interest in this time of history because many of their "polite" customs were based off of a desire to serve each other. The author contrasts that with what we are facing now in our society.
What is our society like now? We have a definite culture of rudeness. Coarse, rude talk dominates talk shows, TV, and movies. T-shirts and cars are plastered with explicit, in your face, rudeness. We have forgotten how to be polite. The word "politeness" has even gotten a bad rap. But as Christians, how do we view being polite? A definition of polite would be, " having or showing behavior that is considerate of others". As Christians called to serve and build others up, it seems like we are also called to be polite. This isn't saying that we can't strongly state our views, or point out problem areas in others. But our heart attitude towards the vehicle of communication should be a desire to make our words serve others with truth and compassion. I don't think that angry, coarse, explicit talk meets that standard.
While most of us probably don't swear, wear profane t-shirts, or use angry words often, are we always "polite" with our words? I, unfortunately, know that I have been found lacking in using my words to serve the hearer. I know that I have felt the effects of someone else's rude words on my life. Once, before Joel and I were in an "official" courtship but were "officially" getting to know each other, someone purposely used cutting words in front of me about my soon to be future in laws. This person knew full well that I was in a serious friendship with Joel and my connection to the Harris family and when my friend with me commented on her lack of politeness, her response was, "Well, it's true!". First of all, I am of the mind that it wasn't true. But secondly, what were the motives of her heart in bringing it up? Was she forgoing polite talk to serve me? Hardly, it was using her words as darts and I felt the sting of them. I am sure that we can all think of many times when others have used their words to tear down instead of build up in our lives.
But there is another question to consider here, does the fact that we think something is "true", give us the right to spout off our opinion regardless of the consequences? Our society says, "If you are annoyed, say so. If you are mad, don't suppress it. If you don't like someone else, tell them. After all, if we aren't "honest" with each other, aren't we hypocrites?" In essence this is a selfish train of thought because it leaves out the all important question of what are words are accomplishing in others. Listen to this excerpt quoted in The Benevolence of Manners from the book "Ladies' and Gentlemen's Complete Etiquette":

"We are called upon to make such minor sacrifices of sincerity as a due regard for the happiness and feelings of others demands. True politeness requires us to consider these before our own. A lady who shows by act or expresses in plain curt words that the visit of another is unwelcome may perhaps pride herself upon being no hypocrite. But she is, in reality, worse. She is grossly selfish. Courtesy, which is the essence of unselfishness, would require her, for the time, to forget her own feelings and remember those of her visitor, and thus her duty is plain to make that visitor welcome and happy while she remains. If she really does this-forgets self and thinks only of her friend-there is no hypocrisy, but the highest order of Christian order."

Our biggest responsibility is not to be "honest "about every sinful thought we have, but to use our actions, words and lives to serve others. If we were truly serving others with our words, what would change in our personal relationships? How would that effect society? Our country? It can be discouraging to see how rude we have become, but it is inspiring to see the potential we have to change our society for good.

Result of heart echo

2006-05-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

Thank you all so much for your prayers for us this morning. I will get straight to the point......they didn't find any heart problems! Because of how "early" I am right now (18 weeks), they weren't able to screen for all heart abnormalities (i.e. they weren't able to see all of the little details), but they were able to get a very clear image of the heart's chambers and were able to tell that this baby does not have HLHS (what Faith had). While they didn't say we had to, they did say that it might be a good to come in again when the baby is a little older so as to see all aspects of the heart. But it is just a precaution, not because they are worried about anything they saw. This is such wonderful news. We are so thankful to God! As you can imagine, this takes a great weight off of our shoulders.
Now, I am going to go get some rest! I was only able to get a few hours of rest last night because of my nervous adrenaline running through my body. Now I think I can sleep more peacefully. : )
We will be having our regular ultrasound this friday to make sure everything else is okay and hopefully be able to find out if this is a boy or girl!
Thanks again for your prayers!

Baby news:Change of plans

2006-05-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

Because of some mess ups with our appointment scheduling (still don't know exactly what happened), we have had to move our heart echo for baby up from friday to wednesday at nine in the morning. Even though my husband will be missing some of his lessons, it will be nice to get it done a few days earlier. During the heart echo, they will be checking for any type of heart defect in our unborn baby. As most of you know, our first baby, Faith Felicity, died from heart complications waiting for a heart transplant at the age of two months. Please pray for us and our new baby. Our regular ultrasound checking on everything will still take place on friday, at 10:40.
Thank you so much for your prayers!

Progress meets the Ingalls

2006-05-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

Friends, while my posts are not usually political in nature, I have decided to branch off a little. The following story is something I wrote after doing a little bit of research on some of the issues that our country is facing right now in regards to seeds, animals, and farms. I was struck with how much has changed since the simple laws of the Laura Ingalls time. That thought was the "inspiration" for the following. As Christians, it is important that we know what freedoms could be taken away from us, and seek to do the right thing in regards to all of these issues. While most of us aren't farmers, these laws could definitely effect us in the future. We are basically facing laws and policies that could control every avenue of our food supply. Do we really want any form of government to have control over everything? The following story is made up of real life situations that some are facing and others points of the story are what we could be facing in the very near future. Monsanto, by the way, is a huge company that has shut many small farmers down because Monsanto's seed was found in their fields (to make a very long story short)
Enjoy!
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Progress Meets the Ingalls By Kimberly Harris

A black car with tinted windows sped down a dusty back road. The scenery was calm and beautiful. Wheat ready for harvest, waved their heads in the gentle breeze as the sun shone brightly, apple trees were green with leaf, and an occasional farmer's home housed the hard working, but satisfied family. As the car turned at corners and sped down the road at a tremendous rate, its very actions seemed menacing and disrupted the calmness before it. Sometimes it would slow as it passed a farmer's house, as if searching but not finding what it was looking for. It went along in this manner for sometime until it finally reached a smaller farm. They too had wheat ready for harvest. There was a newly built barn that still smelt of freshly sawn wood. The small farmhouse showed that its occupants were not wealthy, but it was clean and cheery. A place a stranger looking for help would feel hope in seeing.
The black car stopped in front of the house, and a man with tinted glasses stepped out. His dark suit was well pressed and a scent of expensive cologne wafted from his being. His carefully combed blonde hair seemed too bright to go with the dark expression on his face. He decisively took a step towards the farmhouse with his polished leather shoes. His eyes swept the farm, ears ready to overhear, eyes ready to see, and mind ready to twist.
As it was midday, the family was inside partaking of a simple but plentiful meal. Laughter was mingled with solemn thanks, and a note of concern was heard as they talked of the future. Their future was so wrapped up in the success of their crops, that it was hard not to worry lest something should happen.
The man outside wrinkled his nose in disgust as he kicked a meowing white cat at his feet. The cat found that even though his feet looked well bred, their kick was accurate and heavy. He continued to walk up the dirt driveway, passing a cow with its calf in a field nearby. As his gaze stopped to rest on their backs, the first sign of a smile appeared, a cruel twisted smile that spoke of danger.
When he reached to steps of the porch, the laughter of little girls met his ears. "Pa, you are funny! May we listen to you play your fiddle tonight?" A deep, but kind voice answered back "Laura, if you do your chores well today and help Ma and Mary with the cooking, I would be happy to play for my little half-pint."
Laura's response was cut short by the sharp rap at their front door. Pa pushed his chair away from the rough table, wiped his hands on his napkin, and kissed Ma's careworn cheek, saying, "I'll go see who it is."
When Pa opened the door, he was greeted with the sight of the back of a man who was apparently glaring at Pa's dog who was growling warningly at the man. Pa whistled for the dog to come. The man turned as the dog raced by him and looked Pa over. Pa was wearing farm clothes that showed a mornings work imbedded in them and heavy boots. Pa's face was slightly wrinkled and tan from hours in the sun. He had a black beard and his honest eyes were still twinkling from his fun with his family. Pa said cheerfully, "Can I help you?"

The man replied in a cold tone, "Sir, I will get straight to the point. I am sorry to say that we have found you guilty of many felonies, and you will be brought to court soon."
Pa looked surprised as his eyes widened and he brought up a hand to rub his beard out of habit. "You must be mistaken. I am an honest man who tries to support his family with the work of his hands. I haven't been involved in anything illegal."
The man's mouth twisted into a second smile at this speech. "Sorry Sir, whether you know it or not, you have committed many grievous felonies." Pa's usually gentle eyes grew angry, and looking the man square in the face, he demanded, "What are the charges?" The man turned again to look at Pa's farm. He pointed in the direction of the wheat fields with a well-manicured hand. "We have done a few tests on your wheat. We have found that some of the seed that Monsanto has a patent for growing in your field. We have found no record of you actually buying seed from Monsanto and so conclude that you are using it illegally." Pa's anger deepened at this statement, and he straightened his shoulders as he made his defense. "I have saved my own seed for years and I can guarantee that the original seed I bought was not from Monsanto. I know my neighbor has bought from them and it is possible that some has crossed onto my fields, but I have no control over that."
The man merely turned his shaded eyes towards Pa and said in an amused tone, "We are going by facts here. The fact is you have been found to be growing this seed in your field without permission." He continued, cutting off Pa's outraged reply. "But that is not the only offense. I also see that you own a cow and a calf. Do you have a permit for them? You know that they must be registered in the national registry." Pa was once again shocked. "Since when did I need a permit to own my own cattle? It has always been a basic right in America and any country to own your own livestock!" The man continued as if he didn't hear, "Now you don't actually milk this cow, do you?" Pa looked as if he thought the man was crazy. "Of course I milk my own cows! They provide one of the mainstays of my family's food." The man turned his eyes away from the pasture to look into Pa's face. He wagged a finger in Pa's face accusingly, "You are in trouble. You are not licensed to milk cows." Pa raised his voice as he said, "I don't sell it. I just feed my family with it." The man shook his head in mock sympathy. "You are not allowed to risk even your own family's health. You have not been officially certified to milk sanitarily." "My family has never gotten sick from our milk!" Pa retorted.
The man once again continued as if he didn't hear. "But you do at least pasteurize your milk, don't you?" Pa shook his head no in a daze. Laura and Mary had meanwhile run to the front door to see what the angry voices were all about.
The man turned his piercing gaze towards them. He once again shook his head in insincere sympathy as he made his final blow. "You have been risking your family's lives by giving them raw milk. You should know that a caseworker will be visiting soon to interview you, and will bring you to court as well. They will decide there whether you and your wife will retain the right over your children."
Pa's arms tightened around his daughters as he hoarsely, fiercely said, "You can't take my children away from me. You have no right."
The man replied in an amused tone. "Oh, but we do. We will be in contact with you soon. You can expect fines, if not imprisonment, for every one of your felonies, and the failure to pay will result in the loss of your farm. As I said, a caseworker should be in contact soon about the children's safety."
With this said, he turned and walked back through the dusty driveway and got back into his black car. His walk spoke of self-satisfaction and pride in his work. As his car speed away, he left behind the scene of a crushed man being comforted by his family. They had survived so much hardship, but could they survive progress?

The wrong way to use humor

2006-04-27T22:09:00.000-07:00

Do you ever notice the humor Hollywood will often use? In fact, it's in cartoons too. An old lady gets knocked over, a nun witnesses a sinful act, a hand is caught in a trap, someone's thumb is smashed, and the list goes on. I was recently at the movie theater watching a movie aimed at a younger crowd. There were a lot of children in the audience and guess what they laughed at: Someone getting hurt, or frustrated in their plans. Or they laughed at someone being made fun of. Wow, so much for the sweet innocent years. Of course, movies such as this don't help when they make it seem funny for people's feelings or bodies to be hurt. Perhaps I am just the odd one out, but this type of humor has always bothered me. As a little kid my mom would sometimes let me watch cartoons. I always had the "wrong" response. I never really liked Tom and Jerry. It didn't quite seem right that Tom was always beaten up by a mouse. True, Tom was trying to catch the mouse, but wasn't that what cats were supposed to do? Tom was always getting in trouble with his owner for not catching Jerry and Jerry was always trapping Tom. I didn't like seeing people, or cats or dogs, or mice or any other creature in pain. My all time, most hated cartoon was one where Donald Duck is trying to go to sleep, but one noise after another keeps him awake. He gets more and more frustrated (and we are supposed to find it more and more funny). His nerves are frazzled and his eyes bloodshot by the time dawn comes. It ends with Donald running down the street shrieking, half crazy from lack of sleep. I found this very disturbing and not funny at all. It may have been partly because I can have a hard time sleeping myself, and know it's nothing to laugh at.
Why am I ranting about this? My husband and I had started watching a movie last night and in it they joked about a little girl waiting to get a heart transplant in a very crude way. For parents who had a little baby girl die waiting for a heart transplant, it was not funny. It goes without saying that we did not laugh, but turned the movie off with tears streaming down my face. Yet, do we ever use the same type of humor? One thing that was "popular" to joke about in my younger years was retarded children. But were the jokes really funny? No, they were downright cruel. Those type of jokes must be so painful for the families of Down's syndrome and other special needs children.
So my question is this, why do we think it's funny? Why are we so inclined to cruelness? Our hearts are so prone to wickedness. We need to make sure that our humor is edifying and not coarse or rude.
" And there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks." (Eph 5:4)
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good or building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."(Ephesians 4:29)
I think we have better things to do with our words than to make cruel jokes about others. Instead of corrupting talk, we can use our words to give grace to others.

(I am not, by the way, going to let my young children watch a lot of cartoons making fun of people in pain. I don't think we, as adults or as children, need any encouragement in cruelness)

Friendships, Part three: What foolish friends look like, continued

2006-04-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

Characteristics of a fool (continued)

A fool finds pleasure in the wrong things

Proverbs 15:21 says that “Folly is joy to him who lacks sense”. Where do your friends find their joy? Do they find joy in foolish things? Or in God? Not only do fools find joy in folly but, “Doing wickedness is like sport to a fool” Prov 10:23. They think it’s fun to be wicked. Like playing basketball or volleyball, they “play” in their sin. “Fools mock at sin” Proverbs 14:9 Sin is not to be taken seriously, it is to be played with, to be mocked, to find joy in. A friend who fits into this category is dangerous!

A fool is always right in his eyes

Another tendency of a fool is to believe that he is always right. It once again comes down to his pride. There isn’t a trace of humility in a fool. “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” Proverbs 12:15 It is important that we make one distinction here. It is wrong to listen to the counsel of foolish men, to those who are bringing a perspective different than the Bible. It is not humility that listens to a fool’s counsel but it is foolishness. It is not prideful to say that God’s word is right and stand firm in that. This proverb is talking about a fool’s tendency to not take wise counsel. He can’t bear to humble himself in this way. He must be right all of the time with no room for listening to others. “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool.” Proverbs 28:26 A fool follows our world’s advice when it says “Follow your own heart. You are right and good. You are wise.” A wise man says that God is the one to be followed, He is both righteous and good. Wisdom is found in Him. Are your friends wise or foolish in this area?

A fools brings ruin to relationships

A wise man brings words of encouragement, “timely” words, wise words of counsel. The wise Proverbs 31 woman opens her mouth to speak wisdom. But what does a fool do in relationships? “A fool’s lips bring strife” Prov 18:6 He never unites or builds up, instead he tears down others with his words. I think that women especially can be guilty of using their words to injure others. “A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands” Proverbs 14: 1. If you are friends with someone who is constantly bringing strife and using his or her words to tear you down, you are in an unwise relationship. This tendency can be further understood in this next characteristic

A fool is quarrelsome

“Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, But any fool will quarrel.” Proverbs 20:3 You can recognize a fool by his desire to argue and bring strife into a conversation. While a wise man can calmly converse, a fool will jump at the chance to quarrel. I am afraid “quarrels” instead of discussions happen much to often on blogs. It is okay to disagree (I think it is good to discuss different opinions, it sharpens us and helps refine us), but the spirit of the disagreement can quickly turn into bitter words. A fool's discussions will always end up this way. “When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs and there is no rest.” Proverbs 29: 9 A foolish man does not take anyone else’s words seriously, but instead either “rages” at them, or “laughs” at them. In a controversy with a fool there is no rest! The fact is……..

A fool has a bad temper

This will not be kept hidden for long because “A fool’s anger is known at once” Prov. 12:16 In fact, “A fool always loses his temper.” Prov. 29: 11 Now very godly men and women can and probably will lose their tempers sometimes. We all have some foolishness left in our hearts. But, yes, when we lose our temper we are acting foolishly. (Proverbs 14:17) As we become wiser we will learn more self-control. But a fool is always losing his temper. He has no control over his anger. Is it no wonder that companions of fools suffer harm?

A fool continues in his folly

“Like a dog that returns to his vomit, is a fool who repeats his folly.” Proverbs 26:11 God doesn’t always use pleasant analogies. He wants us to see the weight of repeating our folly. A fool could have a feast if he followed God, but instead he continues to eat his vomit. He laughs at sin, thinks he knows what is right, quarrels with the wise, and turns his back on wisdom. He doesn’t know what he is missing. While gorging on his sickly meal, he is turning his back on a heavenly feast.

In the end, we can see how the fool is figuratively “fat”. He is enlarged with sin. He feeds on his arrogant view of self. He is self-righteous and thinks he knows best. He doesn’t try to control his anger, but gives into it (after all, he is following his heart, and that’s what his heart tells him to do). He is not full of wisdom, but full of foolishness.

Examine yourself

As you look at the above characteristics of a fool, if you are being honest, you have probably found some foolish tendencies of yourself. I know I have. While a fool hates knowledge, you desire to obtain more wisdom. So I would challenge you to take some of the verses dealing with your struggle area and write them somewhere you can see often. Work on becoming wise and fighting the foolishness bound up in your heart.

Examine your relationships

Also seriously ask yourself about your friendships with others. First, are you being a foolish friend or a wise friend? Are your friends helped or hindered by you?
Secondly, learn to be “cautious” with your friendships, like a wise man. Are your friends feeding foolishness to you? Are their words and actions more foolish than wise? May I entreat you to humbly admit your weakness and spend less time with them? This is not talking about ministry to the fallen and other such activities. This is referring to your “companions”, those you spend a lot of fellowship time with. Foolishness rubs off much to quickly. I think it’s because we already lean towards foolishness instead of wisdom. We need all the help we can get!

Guard your heart

Finally, beware of becoming judgmental in your heart. We are told to be cautious and wise in our companions. But we are not told to be derogatory towards others. In fact Jesus warns us against calling others fools, “And whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.” Matthew 5:22 It is only by the grace of God that we are not total fools ourselves. We have no claim to righteous fame, but our only claim is through Christ’s blood.

Friendships, Part two: What foolish friends will look like

2006-04-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

In my last post, I addressed how we are affected by our “companions”, our friends. “He who walks with the wise will become wise and the companions of fools will suffer harm” Proverbs 13:20
But the question we must face, is what do wise men look like and what do fools look like? If we can’t distinguish between the two we are not going to be able to make wise choices in friendships. I went through the entire book of Proverbs looking for clues that would tell me how to recognize fools. It was both enlightening and humbling. It was humbling because I realized that I could be foolish myself. Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child”. We were all born with a foolish (i.e. sinful) nature. This goes against the popular secular idea that we are all good deep down inside ourselves. In actuality, we all were born with foolishness in our hearts. It is only by God’s grace that we can become “wise”. I think that we will always be fighting foolishness in our hearts, but a fool will be consistently glorying in his foolishness (more on this later).

Is this promoting pride?

“But”, one may ask, “Isn’t is prideful to judge others and not become friends with them because they have foolish tendencies?”. It is humility that admits, “I am weak. I can be unduly affected by those around me. So I must be careful to be a companion to wise men instead of fools, otherwise I will suffer harm.” It is pride that disregards warnings such as Proverbs 14:17 “Leave the presence of a fool, or you will not discern words of knowledge” and 16:12 ‘Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs, rather than a fools to his folly.” King Solomon is saying to us here, “Warning, warning! Watch out! You would rather meet a angry mother bear than a fool!”

Do watch out for pride!

But by humbly heeding these proverbs we must watch not to be prideful in our hearts towards others. “Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 26:12. You should avoid becoming a companion of fools, but if it teaches you to become prideful then you have just gone from the frying pan into the fire! There is more hope for the very people you are avoiding than for you! So as we look at some of the characteristics of a fool, don’t allow pride to creep in. In fact, as you read these characteristics, don’t allow yourself to primarily focus on whether or not others fall into these categories. Instead, first, see if you are a fool. If you find yourself being described, repent and seek God’s help for change. I will be bringing about half of the characteristics today, and the rest in my next post.

Characteristics of a fool

The following verses will help further define what a fool is, but here is a simple definition to get us started. The Hebrew word for fool means- Stupid, silly, taken from the word that means “to be fat” to be taken figuratively. How does one take “to be fat” figuratively”? I think it’s the idea of self-satisfaction, a man who is blown up spiritually with prideful exaltation. He thinks he is always right. You will definitely see that in the characteristics below.

A fool is not seeking knowledge, but actively hates it

The first time a fool is mentioned is Proverbs 1:22 “fools hate knowledge”. This helps us understand the heart of a fool. It’s not just that some of his actions are foolish, but that his heart hates knowledge and truth. He hates true knowledge because he thinks he already has it. When faced with what true knowledge looks like, hatred is stirred up in his heart. Why? Because if he admitted that true knowledge was right, he would have to be wrong. We will see what actions display that heart in the following characteristics.

A fool brings grief to his parents

“ A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.” Proverbs 10:1
A fool will not honor his parents. Instead, his actions bring shame to them. And when they try to correct him, he will not listen because he thinks he knows better than them. “A fool rejects his father’s discipline” 15:5
So we see in this first characteristic that a friend who disregards parental authority while under it, or is bringing shame to his parents, is not a wise friend. I was on a basketball team at a Christian school during some of my high school years. It was here that I first experienced, in a bigger way, a total disregard for authority. There were a few girls on my team who would openly gloat over deceiving their parents and disregarding their instruction. Luckily, they weren’t too interested in becoming friends with me. I am thankful that God protected me from their influence, because if I had become a companion of them, I would have suffered harm through their influence.

A fool is complacent

“ … the complacency of fools will destroy them.” Prov. 1:32
A fool will feel comfortable with himself. He doesn’t think he needs to be spurred on by others. He doesn't think he needs to learn new principles, or to seek God for wisdom. He feels like he is pretty good just like he is. A friend who is not seeking God further, but is complacent with where he is at, is not a wise friend. If he continues to be complacent, it will destroy him. We need friends who are passionate about seeking God. It's not to say that we don't all have varying degrees of passion at different times. We all do go through dry times, but a fool is always in a dry time. More than that, he is happy and complacent with his dry times.

A fool regards honor and dishonor backwards

“The wise will inherit honor, But fools display dishonor.” Proverbs 3:35 Fools not only seek dishonor, but they openly display it for all to see. They are proud of what should shame them! The Hebrew word for dishonor means disgrace; confusion, dishonour, ignominy, reproach, shame.” They are proud of their sin. They, like the girls I knew, flaunt bad attitudes towards their parents. They aren’t ashamed to be known as the “wild ones”. They don’t rejoice in serving others, but rejoice in going to the limit. It seems daring to do “bad things”, and brag about it. They don’t use their words to honor God, but to disregard His commandments. This can be displayed in" big" ways (murder, theft, sexual sins), but also in those, so called, "little" sins (such as displaying immodesty, crude jokes, disregard for authority etc).

A fool likes to hear himself speak

One way in which a fool demonstrates his heart of pride, is how he talks. Does he carefully listen to others and weigh their words? Hardly, he’s to busy talking! A fool is described as “babbling” 10:14. His mouth “spouts” folly 15:2. You get the impression that a fool constantly talks. Proverbs 18:2 describes a fool like this: “A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind.” A fool considers his own mind the best, and therefore his words the best. He is not careful with his words, they just pour out like water from a fountain. On the other hand “The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer” Proverbs 15:28. The righteous carefully considers what words to use.
This is an area in which I still need work because I can tend to talk a lot without “pondering”. This is revealing pride and foolishness in my heart.

Stay tuned for more!
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All references taken from the NAS Bible

Friendships, part 1

2006-04-24T11:49:00.000-07:00

This week, I would like to start a series on friendships. These posts will be heavily influenced by the article Wisdom in Relationships, by Winston Smith, published in the Journal of Biblical Counseling, volume 19, number 2, winter 2001.
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What are friends for? They provide companionship and help fill lonely days. You have a good time with them. They make you laugh. They fulfill some of the desires in your heart. They accept you. They make up your "click", the place where you belong. But is that all that friends are for? The Bible doesn't focus very much on finding acceptance in our friends. But the Bible does give us a clear picture of what friends are for, and what to look for when making friends. Proverbs makes it clear that our friends can point us towards wisdom or drag us down. Proverbs 13:20 states: "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm." NAS

" Far from directing me away from relationships, wisdom places me in the midst of them, exhorting me to value the company and counsel of the wise and warning me to avoid the company and counsel of fools. Proverbs teaches me that my world is full or relationships; my world is full of people and voices. These people, in turn, both embody and direct me down certain paths and destinations in life. You could say it is like this. I live every moment as a person at a crossroads. I am always choosing to live either a wise life or a foolish life. The path I travel in life has everything to do with the people to whom I listen and with whom I seek companionship. Some people walk with me and direct me down a wise path. Other people walk with me and direct me down a path of destruction. Relationships are important because they have everything to do with where I will wind up in life. " Winston Smith, Wisdom in Relationships

In the crossroads of your life, where do your friends direct you? Are they turning you towards God? Or are they turning you towards yourself and the world? What kind of people do you spend the most time with? Are they wise or foolish?

"Wisdom tells us to look beyond the immediate in relationships. Relationships are embedded in bigger things. Wise or foolish? In Christ or self willed? Ends in themselves or contexts for a bigger purpose? We must choose wisdom and life as our ultimate destination and understand relationships will usher us down on of two paths, depending on our relationship with Christ. Proverbs 4:18 describes is this way, 'The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.' As Christians we live on a path, and in Christ we walk down that path with Him in the company of the wise; otherwise, relationships will lead us down dark paths that end in destruction." Winston Smith, Wisdom in Relationships

Look at your relationships. Are they helping you in your walk with God? Are they promoting sin, or helping your slay your sin? Do their words bring godly encouragement, or do their words feed your lusts for this world?
Relationships are not an end to themselves. We often "hang out" with the person we "clicked" with. We don't look any further than whether or not we enjoy being together. Or perhaps we just end up spending a lot of time with those who happen to be the most available. But if relationships can make us wise or bring harm to us, we should take friendships seriously. We should put thought into who we are friends with and what the aim of our conversation and interaction is.
There is a flip side to this issue as well. Before you go judging all of your friends, judge your own heart and actions. What type of friend are you? You have a wonderful yet grave responsibility to bring light, encouragement and wisdom to your relationships. Are our friends benefiting from being friends with us? What path are we leading them down? Am I a good influence?
A good indicator of whether we are serving our friends or not is evaluating our words. This is our aim, "She opens her mouth in wisdom,And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" Proverbs 31:26 What comes out of our mouth when we open it? God's wisdom or the world's foolishness?
While we are told to be wise with our interaction with others, it is important to remember that we are all sinners. We will not be perfect friends, and we will not find perfect friends. We thankfully have grace. But that does not excuse us from making poor choices in friends or being a poor friend. "A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray." Proverbs 12:26
In closing, remember that we are living not for this world's pleasure, but for Heaven's pleasure. We are keeping our eyes on the things above, not on the things that are on this earth (Col 3). Our interaction with others should demonstrate this.
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1- Wisdom in Relationships, by Winston Smith, pub. by the Journal o Biblical Counseling, Vol. 19, number 2, Winter 2001: page 34
2-" ": Page 35

What about the gift of Celibacy?

2006-04-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

When someone promotes marriage as a good thing, they are often accused of not paying attention to Paul's words about singleness. It would not be good to ignore any passage of the Bible, and I Corinthians 7 deals with singleness specifically. I have many friends that are single, though they do not feel like they have the gift of singleness and hope to one day marry -God willing-. They do try to use their "freedom" to serve God by serving others. I appreciate their servant hearts so much and their great trust in God. Every one of them is seeking to be happy and fulfilled in God entirely, even if God does not grant them a mate. But I would be very wrong to downplay the gift of marriage and all God's Word has to say on that subject. There can be confusion in how we reconcile I Corinthians 7 with the myriad of verses talking about marriage. Dr. Al Mohler is a professor whom I greatly respect. I posted a link a while back to the article Reflecting on the "Mystery of Marriage" , in it he had insight into this passage:

"The Gift of Celibacy

There is one significant qualification about marriage found in the Scriptures. In 1 Corinthians chapter seven, the Apostle Paul writes specifically about the gift of celibacy, offering a clear teaching for those who are given this special gift in order to be liberated for strategic Gospel service. Paul's point is clear. The obligations that are part and parcel of marriage are a matter of deep spiritual responsibility. A Christian who is married is, under the obligations of that sacred institution, less free to seize some opportunities for ministry that would be open to one who is unmarried.

Paul celebrates the gift of celibacy for Christian service, but he says nothing about those who simply would choose singleness as a lifestyle option. His concern was to see the Gospel preached throughout the world, even as the moral reputation of the Corinthian congregation was restored on matters of marriage and sexuality.

Furthermore, Paul speaks very specifically about the sexual aspect of marriage and instructs, "it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Cor. 7:9, NASB). I appreciate Paul's apostolic candor. He did not condemn sexual desire and sexual passion, but he directed the Corinthians — and us — to marriage as the proper arena for such passion to be expressed.

With all this in view, it would seem that the Bible offers two specific teachings about marriage that should frame our understanding and our engagement in the current debate.

First, marriage is presented as a sacred institution, a covenant made between the man and the woman before their Creator, and an arena in which the glory of God is demonstrated to the watching world through the goodness of the marital relationship, the one-flesh character of the marital bond, the holiness of marital sex, and the completeness that comes with the gift of children.

Second, the Bible presents celibacy as a gift — apparently a rare gift — that is granted to some believers in order that they would be liberated for special service in Christ's name. Paul's discussion of celibacy indicates that this gift is marked by the absence of lust and sexual desire that would compromise or complicate ministry as an unmarried person. Accordingly, those who have been given the gift of celibacy find in Christ the satisfactions others are given through marriage.

Paul privileges this gift of celibacy, stating that he would have many of the Corinthians demonstrate this gift and "remain even as I" (1 Cor. 7:8). Yet, most Christians in every age have been married — not celibate. Marriage has represented the norm for adult Christians in every generation since the time of Paul's writing. This is consistent with the purposes of marriage as laid out in the biblical pattern, and is acknowledged by Paul in numerous passages dealing with husbands and wives, parents and children, and qualifications for church leaders. Celibacy is a wonderful gift — a gift the whole church should celebrate — but it is a rare gift."
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While I have not read this book, I have heard excellent things about it. Caroyln McCulley addresses the single life as a female in her book "Have I Kissed Marriage Goodbye?" I recommend it to any single lady.

2006-04-21T10:11:00.001-07:00

The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.
~Elisabeth Elliot

Friday Challenge, part three

2006-04-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

Once again, it is so easy to read and even write about excellent principles but fail to make any changes in my life. To try to fight that tendency, here are the challenges I have for myself, and I invite you to join me:
I challenge myself.....

To cultivate a heart willing to listen to the advice of others, particularly the godly men and women God has placed in my life

To seek input from others consistently

To start making steps towards relationships that will keep me accountable

What steps are you making towards cultivating a heart of a wise man instead of a fool?

Can Christians starve?

2006-04-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

In my early teens, I decided to read through the Bible. I remember being struck with Matthew Chapter six and felt comfort feeling like God would never allow me, or any other Christian, to be in need of clothing or food. But I started coming across stories of missionaries and Christians in other countries going hungry and wondered what was wrong. I knew that God would not promise something He wouldn't keep. But how did certain Bible passages line up with reality?
The following is from John Piper's book, don't waste your life. The entire book is excellent and in the chapter "Risk is right", he addresses this question.
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Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ......do not be anxious saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'....your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and al these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:25, 31-33) NIV

'Well, which is it?' we might ask. Are Christians subject to 'famine and nakedness' or will God provide 'all these things' when we need them? Will Christians never hunger or starve or be ill-clothed? Have not some of the greatest saints in the world been stripped and starved? What about Hebrews 11:37-38? 'They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated-of whom the world was not worthy- wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth,' The losses and miseries of these believers was not owing to their unbelief. They were faithful- people 'of whom the world was not worthy.' Page 93

So we are left trying to figure out what Christ meant in Matthew six. It is apparent that ever since Christ's time, Christians have suffered greatly.

This is John's response:

"He meant that you will have everything you need to do his will and be eternally and supremely happy in him. How much food and clothing are necessary? Necessary for what? we must ask. Necessary to be comfortable? No, Jesus did not promise comfort. Necessary to avoid shame? No, Jesus called us to bear shame for his name with joy. Necessary to stay alive? No, he did not promise to spare us death-of any kind. ......What Jesus meant was that our Father in heaven would never let us be tested beyond what we are able (1 Corinthians 10:13). If there is one scrap of bread that you need, as God's child, in order to keep your faith in the dungeon of starvation, you will have it. God does not promise enough food for comfort or life-he promises enough so that you can trust him and do his will."
"When Paul promised, "My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus," he had just said "I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all thing through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:12-13, 19) "
Found onPage 94-95

John Piper continues by reminding of what Christ did promise us.

"He Himself has said, I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,” Hebrews 13:5b
We have the bread of life and the apparel of His righteousness, even if we do not have earthly food and clothing. We can be sure that God will not only never leave us nor forsake us, but that He will provide everything we need to get through this life in a God-glorifying way.
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I highly recommand, don't waste your life, by John Piper for a further look on this topic and other issues.

Accountability/a question to ponder

2006-04-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of questions to prayerfully answer, with input from others, which will help you evaluate how accountable you are. To see why this important, read my post, Avoiding the way of a fool

Humility, True Greatness, C.J. Mahaney, pg 129-130

"To help you evaluate, let me suggest that you talk to your spouse and to others close to you and ask them questions like these:

Do I confess my sin consistently?

Do I confess specific instances of sin and not just general categories or general references to sin?

Do others find it easy to correct me?

Do others know the areas of temptation in my life at present?

Do they know the most pronounces patterns of sin in my life at present?"

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Can Christians starve?

Here is a question to think about it preparation of my next post. Christ told us, in Matthew chapter six, not to worry about our food or our clothing. He points out how God feeds the birds and clothes the flowers of the field. "Are you not worth much more than they? " Matt 6:28b NAS For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. " Matt 6:32-33 NAS
It seems to be a promise that we will always be clothed and feed if we are seeking His kingdom first. But what about the Christians who have starved throughout history? They certainly were not always full and well clothed. Did they do something wrong? Why were they hungry if Christ promised to feed us?
I will be bringing an answer to this hard question soon.

Avoiding the way of a fool: inviting correction

2006-04-17T19:23:00.000-07:00

The way of a fool if right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice." Proverbs 12:15

When I was reading CJ Mahaney's book, Humility, True Greatness, and skipped ahead and saw the title of chapter 10, Inviting and Pursuing Correction, pride reared it's ugly head. It's one thing to be convicted about seeing God's grace in others; it's another to humbly say to God, "I am your servant! You are the potter, I am the clay." But it is quite another to go to another sinful human being and allow them to reveal your blind spots. Don't get me wrong; it is humbling to do those other things. But I somehow wasn't quite as enthusiastic about this chapter, which was very revealing about my pride. There have been plenty of times when I have wished that others would allow me to do this with them. I would like to tell Miss So-and-so that she tends to be rude, to another that she lets her temper control her, and to yet another that all of her actions seem to be self-serving. But would I like those same people to do the same for me? Ugh, then I would have to admit that I was no better than them. Ouch, there it was, the painful truth. I liked to pretend that I was better because I knew of their faults. It almost seemed better to live with their faults and not have to deal with the painful truth of myself.
But, if I really want to serve God in all of my actions, words and heart, I need to recognize that others are going to see sinful tendencies that I am unaware of. If I want to grow in grace, God will use those around to help me, if I encourage and cultivate feedback from them. It is only pride that makes me feel that I can see all of my sin and defeat it without the help of others.

" John Owen observed that although each of us can display competence in a variety of areas, this is never so in respect to discerning our sin. On our own, you and I will never develop a competency for recognizing our sin. We'll always need help. Never forget that others see what you do not.......They are a gift from God in your battle against sin. And you never grow out of this need. Never." Humility, True Greatness, page 133

In this chapter CJ exhorts us to aggressively participate in a small group for accountability. Others can't help us if we aren't open to sharing with them our personal struggles and listening to their observations.
Our church is very family oriented. Because of that sometimes I can fall into the ditch of thinking that all I need is my family in fellowship and correction. As I thought about this, two thoughts crossed my mind. My husband and other family members will definitely see a pretty clear picture of me. They should be the first ones I go to for accountability and correction. Some people skip right over family to near strangers for feedback, never seeking those who know them best. This is wrong. But have you ever noticed that members of a family can all tend to have the same weaknesses and faults? It seems like everyone knows about another family's weak area, except the family in question! If I only get input from those closest to and most like me, I won't get a full picture of my weak areas. I have decided that it is important to have relationships outside the family that can hold me accountable and give feedback and correction.
However, it is harder and requires more sacrifice to get together with others for this purpose. Some of us simply need to make it more of a priority. Get up early on one day and meet with a few others before your normal daily activities. I met in a few groups before I was married and it was a lot easier to do than it is now. It will only be harder with children. But regardless of how I make it work (which will probably vary in different stages of life), I do need to pursue this with others.
My husband and I have visited the church, which CJ planted and pastored for so many years, and which Joel's brother, Josh, now pastors. Before I had even read this book, we were able to recognize how they have created a culture of speaking into each other’s lives. They thank each other for every service rendered, and they speak up when they notice something amiss in each other. Their church culture made correction and feedback more of a daily occurrence, like it should be. This also seemed to help with the tendency to overact to another’s input.
This leads me to my last thought. If we want to pursue correction from others we need to lay aside our defensiveness. When people do try to correct you, do you flare up in self-righteous indignation? Our pride doesn't want to admit wrong, at least not out loud to others. Even if you know that their correction is entirely off-base, we still need to humbly thank them for their input, and learn what we can from their thoughts. CJ had this insight:

" And don't be put off when a friend's observations may not be 100 percent accurate. I've found that there's truth to be gleaned at times even from an enemy's critique. Humility doesn't demand mathematical precision from another's input; humility postures itself to receive God's grace from any avenue possible." page 134, Humility

I have found this to be true. Recently a friend asked me for my opinion on some action she took, and I told her honestly (I thought also gently) what I thought. But she wasn't looking for correction but a pat on the back and angrily told me that I was so "judgmental" since I thought she wasn't blameless. In that case, her words were not just to me and it made me feel hurt and angry myself. But God used her unfair words to point out where I was being judgmental with this same friend. Sometimes it was a heart attitude, other times I was being misunderstood by her, but I did need to change.
So don't be a fool, listen to other's counsel. Only a fool listens to himself all the time.

2006-04-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Easter, celebrating Christ's resurrection. Joel's and my family got together with several other families for a feast after church. It was a wonderful time of fellowship and food! It was even more wonderful to remember what Christ did for us on the cross. His sacrifice and His great gifts to us through His blood are the greatest reasons to celebrate with joy and thanksgiving.
I was hoping to post today my long promised post on inviting correction from others, but I woke up this morning with a bad head cold. It might have to wait until tomorrow! I will post again as soon as possible.
Just one little thought to leave you with. After our "feast" one of the topics of our conversation was the forces of evil in this world. I woke up in the very early hours this morning and our birds were frantically flying everywhere in their cage. In my sleepy mind my first thought was, "A demon is bothering them." It was still dark out and it stirred up fear in my heart. I think I felt like Satan somehow has an edge when it is dark. But God reminded me of a verse from Psalm 139 which says "The darkness is not dark to Thee, and the night is as bright as the day." It is so comforting to know that the night does not cast darkness on God's vision and He is in control at night as well as the day. I think I will use that verse to calm my future children's fears one day (God willing).
(I still don't know what the birds were doing. But they calmed down in a few minutes.)

Single ladies and Proverbs 31

2006-04-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

On Girl talk, a while back, they had some guest posts from a godly woman, Caroyln McCulley. She wrote the book "Have I Kissed Marriage Goodbye?" She is in her 40's and is still single so has had to wrestle with what it means to be a biblical woman as a single lady. I appreciate her insight. The post I want to draw your attention to starts with this question :

Q: I had a query in relation to the concept of biblical womanhood. I am a doctor (graduated from medical school just over a year ago) and work fairly long hours in an ER. I find that I have to be fairly assertive at work and was wondering how does someone who is not married and in a career be a biblical woman?

Caroyln answers using the Proverbs 31 woman as an example. Here is a snippet of what she says.

"The Proverbs 31 woman shows us a seamless portrait of biblical womanhood that is applicable for every season of life. The Proverbs 31 woman is a savvy investor, a charming hostess, a loving wife, a hard worker, an entrepreneur, a gracious speaker, and a fruitful mother. We see that she is not lopsided. She is capable of making a profit, but she has a purpose in it: to be a blessing in her many relationships. We see that she has in mind her
family, her household, the poor and needy around her, and most importantly, her Lord."

For a more in depth look at what it means to be single and a godly woman go to Question and Answer, guest post two

Knitting and Proverbs 31

2006-04-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

Please note that this is just a few thoughts and not a systematic theology on Proverbs 31
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I have been involved in a class with my mother-in-law entitled “Biblical womanhood”. In the class we studied cooking, read excellent books, worked on speaking skills, and learned how to do needlework projects, among other things. When others in our church started noticing how the girls from this class were knitting or sewing more frequently, it seemed to raise some questions and discussions among others. I was asked by a dear friend if I thought it was necessary to learn how to do needlework to be a godly woman. I appreciated the question because it caused me to think about what I truly believed godly womanhood was.
When you look at the Proverbs 31 woman we find a woman who is using her hands to serve her family by: working with flax and wool, seeking out good food for her family, buying fields and selling it for a profit, she spins wool, she helps the poor, she clothes her family, she makes linen garments to sell, “And does not eat the bread of idleness.”. The question is, to be a godly woman do I have to buy and sell property and spin and knit wool? I think that this example of godly womanhood is given to us, not just to see specific areas in which a woman can serve, but to give us a principle to live by. The principle is “not eating the bread of idleness.” A godly woman should have busy hands serving her family because that is where her heart is. I do think that it would be a mistake to convey that only those who know how to knit are exemplary godly woman. In our day, we are given other ways to serve our family as well as the traditional ways. For example, one young mother I know helps her husband with the finances by running an online bookstore. Another does not make clothes to sell (like the Prov. 31 woman), but buys clothes at a thrift store and resells them on ebay for a profit. One good friend teaches piano lessons. There are many more options, some more traditional than others, of how to serve family by having busy hands. The principle is having busy hands serving your family. That can and even should look different depending on your family’s needs and your own skills and inclinations. Some ways of serving may bring in income, other ways may save money, other ways will just be simply meeting the daily needs of a family.
However, some people have taken the Prov. 31 woman and made her an example of the modern career woman. It should be noted that she did most of her work at home with her family around her and that we are told in the New Testament to be “workers at home” (Titus 2). I don’t think this is a Biblical mandate for a mothers having careers and leaving most of the child raising and home keeping to others.
But unfortunately this thought provoking, gracious question was not the only attitude expressed. There were other girls who made references to “ grannies” and how they personally would never learn to knit, how it was so old-fashioned, or would simply roll their eyes at those using their hands to create. I found this attitude alarming, not because I was afraid they were missing out on godly womanhood since they didn’t want to learn how to knit. But I found it alarming because it was exposing how feminist ideas had affected them. Why were they so negative about learning more traditional ways of clothing and serving families? It was because the world does not approve. Baking bread, knitting scarves, sewing and spinning wool (all found in the example of the Prov 31 woman), have been made into symbols by the feminists of brainless, oppressed, uneducated women. Henceforth all such home-related activities (cleaning included) were held in utter disdain. This attitude was created out of a rejection of true Biblical womanhood and used lies to promote it. Those who despise handwork such as “working with wool” are not demonstrating a biblical view of the topic, but are instead revealing a worldly view.
In the end, my answer is this. Women can be successful in being godly wives and mothers without knowing how to spin or knit. But they should be using their hands to serve others in the home. Even if one does not choose to learn some of the “old fashioned” skills, those skills should not be looked at through the lens of a feminist, but the lens the Bible affords us. If you are ashamed to take up knitting needles, or have raised your eyebrows at others with them, it reveals a needed heart check. Not because you have to learn such skills, but because a negative attitude towards such skills is not based on Biblical ideas.

Is God punishing me? Part Two

2006-04-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

When a tragedy occurs, we find out what we really believe about God. Do we think that He is good? That He works all things together for our good? That He is sovereign over all? Why do bad things happen to us anyway? One shouldn't try to answer these questions in the midst of deep pain; they should be answered before hand so that one has a firm foundation that won't crumble under the strain of suffering. When I went through my own experience with Faith Felicity, it was not just the pain of having to say goodbye. It was also the pain of having to see her tiny little body bruised and pricked, to hear her wails of pain as I waited in the hallway. It was the pain of not knowing what was going to happen. There was the daily strain of watching her in pain, not knowing what the next hour brought. But through it all these few principles ingrained in my heart got me through that time. It didn't take the pain away or stay my own tears. But it was the foundation that kept me from distrust of God and His goodness, and kept me in peace even in the turmoil.

Nothing happens out of God's control

Sometimes we feel like giving God a break. We don't want to have to say that it was His will that our child died, that so and so lost their job, that this war happened. It somehow can make us feel better to think that God is up on His throne, sighing over the evil in the world wishing He could help us out. But in the end, it's not really comforting. Life becomes much more scary because we are at the mercy of chance. Anything could happen to us.
But the more you search scripture, the more evidence you find for God being in absolute control. Here is a sampling of a few verses.
For the LORD Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him? His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back? (Isaiah 14:27)
I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. (Isaiah 46:10)
All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him:’ What have you done?'. (Daniel 4:35)
I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things. (Isaiah 45:7)
But once you have realized that God is in control of good and evil you can still not feel very comforted. That's why it's important to know that ....

God loves His children and works all things for their good

God did not even spare His own son to save us. He showed us what love means.
This is how God showed his love among us; He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love; that that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (I John 4: 9-10)
Can we not believe that the God who sent his precious Son to suffer and die for us, loves us? It is dishonoring to the cross of Christ to claim that God does not love us.
We are His "Chosen people, holy and dearly beloved." Col 3:12 and He tenderly cares for us....
"See, the sovereign LORD comes with power, and his arm rules for him......He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:10-11
We are held close to the heart of God. How tenderly He watches over us and cares for us!

Bad things don't happen to His children as punishment

Now after believing that God is sovereign, and that He loves us and works all things together for our good, we can still fall into the ditch of seeing calamity as always being a punishment for sin. You see this attitude displayed from the book of Job to the New Testament. It is true? God, in His mercy, gave us the answer to these questions, not only in the Old Testament (through the story of Job and others), but also very clearly through Christ's recorded words. In the story of Job, we are told that Job was the most righteous man. He then suffered greatly and his friends told him that it must have been because of great sin in his life. God, at the end of the book, rebukes his friends, for they did not judge rightly. They were wrong to accuse Job of great sin as being the reason for his great pain. In the New Testament we come across this story
As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him. John 9:1-3
We should not assume that trials are judgments from the Lord.
However we should know that:

We learn through our trials

Bad things may not happen because we are more sinful then so and so with the perfect life. But that doesn't mean that God is not using our trials to teach us to become more like Him. In the end of the book of Job, he repents of his pride. He was not being punished for his sins, but God was using Job's trials to reveal his sin so that he could repent of them. Sometimes God uses trials to draw one's focus back on God instead of the world. It is because God is faithful and it is because God loves us, that He allows us to learn through pain.

So we can take rest in these facts. Nothing will happen to us that it out of the control of God. God loves us and cares for us tenderly. God does not bring about trials for punishment, but He does teach us through our pain.

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Pet. 5:6-7

God has a mighty hand but we can humble ourselves under it and cast all our cares on Him because we know that He cares for us. What a wonderful promise.
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Once again, let me recommand an excellent book that deals with this subject in depth. Trusting God even when life hurts, by Jerry Bridges. It is an excellent book to read before you are dealing with pain so you know how to respond.
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Scripture quoted from the NIV and NAS versions

Some links to check out

2006-04-12T21:13:00.000-07:00

Crystal has posted an very revealing e-mail from a 27 year old woman who has found that her life, that looks so ideal to the world (unmarried, career etc) is not all it's cut out to be. Check it out, A Modern Life is a lonely life
Also, as the weather has warmed up and the flowers are blooming, have you noticed skin coming out as well? To the ladies out there, over at girl talk they are posting on fashion and following the savior. These ladies (wife and daughters of CJ Mahaney who wrote Humility, True Greatness and pastored for years) have a lot of insight and wisdom. So don't miss it.
I will be posting soon, on a few points about suffering and also inviting feedback and correction from others! Stay tuned!

Is God punishing me?

2006-04-11T19:35:00.000-07:00

This post has been prompted, by a comment I read on another blog saying "barrenness is almost always a curse from Him for disobedience." I don't think this one quote in anyway states the full thought of this woman on barrenness,(in fact previously she had said she does not consider it a curse. I am not sure what her final take on it all is). But it does bring an important question to mind. When bad things happen, like barrenness, is it because God is punishing us for our sin? As many of you know, one of my challenges for myself is to go to the Bible to get all of my understanding of any topic. I have already studied this topic because of the personal circumstances God placed in my life, but I decided to go ahead and study a little further as well, with an emphasis on barren women.
Doing a quick word study, I found that as a sign of blessing to the Israelites God told them there would be no barren women. But having said that, some of the most prominent women of the Bible were barren for years. Sarah was barren for most of her life, and even when she did conceive it was only once. Rachel was barren for years as well as Hannah. Samson's mother was barren until God blessed her with him. The same was true for Elizabeth, John the Baptist's mother. Are we to understand that these woman were particularly disobedient to God and that's why they were barren? It seems obvious from the stories that these were not the worst of women of their times, but that they were chosen of God for special purposes. I am sure that God used their barrenness to expose and cleanse sin in their lives, but I do not think that God was cursing them. For those who have never been blessed with children, you can look at the above examples and say "But they at least all got one child in the end, while I have had none." The Bible has promises for you too.
Psalm 113" He makes the barren woman abide in the house
As a joyful mother of children.
Praise the LORD! "
God has promised, that in Him, you can be as joyful as the mother of children. It seems that though fruitfulness was a sign of God's blessing on the people of Israel, God still gave barrenness to women He planned on raising up as examples of godliness for us. And He has promised joy and fulfillment to those who do not bear children.
But to further understand the doctrine of barrenness we must understand the doctrine of suffering. Barrenness is but one of many trials we can and do face. I will posting some thoughts to consider about suffering tomorrow, God willing.

Fruit of the Spirit

2006-04-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

For those of you who read my post, Recognizing Evidences of Grace in Others and my Friday Challenge, Week Two, how is it going? Have you started to take note of how God is working in others lives? Have you shared with anyone the evidences of grace in their life that you have observed? I have found that the more I think about finding evidences of grace in others, the more I am convicted about past negative attitudes! I could certainly be better in all my relationships in being more encouraging in thought and word, but I have been particularly convicted about those few people that "get under my skin." My attitude of mind towards them is the most uncharitable, unloving and proud.
Here is the list of the fruit of the spirit to help you along in your quest: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5: 22-23
You should note that no one is going to be perfect in any of these areas (just like we definitely aren't always loving, joyful patient, etc). But we will see other Christians bearing fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control in their lives.

Encouraging Words

2006-04-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

Before we delve into the subject matter of inviting and pursuing correction found in CJ Mahaney’s book, Humility, I wanted to share one of the ideas from the previous chapter in his book, on encouraging others. I was once again convicted and inspired.
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If you were to look at your daily communication to others, what do you think your words are conveying to others? In fact, what do you think the primary purpose of communication is? Why did God give us this gift? It is a rather interesting gift since the tongue can break hearts or bring healing. What do your words usually accomplish? Words will always be doing something, either destroying or building up. Since we use words everyday in every context in our communication with others it is so important to use words wisely. It is important to have a purposeful plan in how we speak to others because our tendency is to use words to serve ourselves. We don’t naturally use this gift to serve and bless others, but use it for self-gratifying purposes.
In the chapter, Encouraging Others, in CJ’s book, he bases his thoughts on this passage.

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good or building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."(Ephesians 4:29)

I don’t know about you, but every time I read this verse I am convicted of my sin once again. I know that I often do not use words that build up, or fitting to the moment or grace giving. CJ brings more light on corrupting talk.

“The speech that’s forbidden is “corrupting talk.” Are you familiar with corrupting talk? Sure you are. It’s a daily temptation and tendency for all of us.
This word corrupting is the same one used to denote the spoiling and decaying of food. Corrupting words bring rottenness; they’re death-giving words instead of life-giving words. God in this passage is wisely forbidding us from any and all speech that is detrimental to others-words that defile someone, words that are divisive or degrading……He’s referring to any and all communication that deters growth in godliness; any speech that hinders the cultivation of godly relationships; any words that have a deadening or dulling effect on the soul of another.”

My Personal Application
We probably all have many different temptations in how we can use death-giving words instead of life-giving. One that I have been trying to work on as God has convicted me, is using my words with others at my church to build them up. Since Faith passed away six months ago, relationships with those who are not my family have been hard for me. Everyone wanted to sympathize, but often didn’t know how and some awkward words could be painful to hear. Others would sometimes forget that only weeks had passed since I saw Faith draw her last breath and would bring up painful topics in front of me. I loved these people dearly and tried to take the sympathy behind the awkward words and also the forgetful ones. For a while I tried to avoid getting in to many conversations but carefully selected whom I was going to talk too. I think it was okay for me to do this for the first while, but I feel that God is now telling me that I can no longer continue “protecting” myself. I need to now use my words to encourage and serve others, to be involved in their lives more. It’s not that I was actually saying “death-giving” words, but my lack of building up words to others was accomplishing nothing and could even lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
I have two other areas that God has been convicting me about as well. In person, I can have a very, very hard time using words that would be encouraging, give grace, and be appropriate for the moment IF they would be disagreeable to the hearer. For example, I am talking to a close friend and she has just told me about a heart attitude that displays an alarming lack of love for God. I have a choice, I can smile and ignore (which is pretty much “death-giving” by not being truth-giving) and be a “people-pleaser”. Or I can humbly, graciously, but truthfully voice a concern. She might not like the fact that I am calling her on her attitude towards God. But my words will be “life-giving” and helpful instead of just smoothing over a sinful tendency. My lack of words can be just as damaging as wrongly spoken words.
The other area (which is pretty funny considering the above) is online I can tend to be overly direct and not as gracious as I should be in disagreements. These are disagreements where a principle I hold dear is under attack. I think my speech and debate background surfaces in an unhealthy way because I am only thinking of winning, instead of helping. There is a big difference. I can be speaking the truth, but if I am doing it to prove that I am right instead of pointing to God I am using the truth in an offense manner that helps no one. Online (and offline) the desire behind all of my words should be to bring glory to God and be truth-bearing. Sometimes it is appropriate to stand strong for a principle and use strong words, but never ungracious words. It doesn’t matter if the other person was degrading in tone or ungracious themselves, I am still responsible for my words.

So how about you? Do you need to work on this area? Here are some application questions to hopefully help you.

What do your words usually accomplish in those around you?

In your interaction with those closest to you (spouse, parents, children, siblings), do your words usually build them up in Christ, or tear them down?

In disagreements do you use your words to encourage and bring light, or do you just seek to win the argument?

Do you use your words to humbly encourage others in their weak areas, or do you use your words to flatter and please?

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Reference: Humility, True Greatness CJ Mahaney, pg 112-113

Friday Challenge (week two)

2006-04-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

I am going to limit myself to only one challenge this week. The reason being is I realized if I am really challenging myself to do several life altering changes every week, I am going to be bogged down really quickly! I am still working on last week's!
As I discussed in my post, Recognizing evidences of grace in others, CJ's book really convicted me in my attitude and perspective about others. So this is my challenge, to put that conviction into practice.

Make a list of the fruit of the spirit to keep at hand and learn. Keep my eyes open and find three evidences of grace in others and tell them how I specifically noticed God's handiwork in their lives.

Three times really isn't that many times, but I am afraid I don't have much practice in this area so I don't want to get in over my head!
Would you like to join me in my quest? It doesn't take very much physical effort, it just takes a willingness of heart.