Kimi Harris, nonconformist

Friendships, part 1

This week, I would like to start a series on friendships. These posts will be heavily influenced by the article Wisdom in Relationships, by Winston Smith, published in the Journal of Biblical Counseling, volume 19, number 2, winter 2001.
_____________________________

What are friends for? They provide companionship and help fill lonely days. You have a good time with them. They make you laugh. They fulfill some of the desires in your heart. They accept you. They make up your "click", the place where you belong. But is that all that friends are for? The Bible doesn't focus very much on finding acceptance in our friends. But the Bible does give us a clear picture of what friends are for, and what to look for when making friends. Proverbs makes it clear that our friends can point us towards wisdom or drag us down. Proverbs 13:20 states: "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm." NAS

" Far from directing me away from relationships, wisdom places me in the midst of them, exhorting me to value the company and counsel of the wise and warning me to avoid the company and counsel of fools. Proverbs teaches me that my world is full or relationships; my world is full of people and voices. These people, in turn, both embody and direct me down certain paths and destinations in life. You could say it is like this. I live every moment as a person at a crossroads. I am always choosing to live either a wise life or a foolish life. The path I travel in life has everything to do with the people to whom I listen and with whom I seek companionship. Some people walk with me and direct me down a wise path. Other people walk with me and direct me down a path of destruction. Relationships are important because they have everything to do with where I will wind up in life. " Winston Smith, Wisdom in Relationships

In the crossroads of your life, where do your friends direct you? Are they turning you towards God? Or are they turning you towards yourself and the world? What kind of people do you spend the most time with? Are they wise or foolish?

"Wisdom tells us to look beyond the immediate in relationships. Relationships are embedded in bigger things. Wise or foolish? In Christ or self willed? Ends in themselves or contexts for a bigger purpose? We must choose wisdom and life as our ultimate destination and understand relationships will usher us down on of two paths, depending on our relationship with Christ. Proverbs 4:18 describes is this way, 'The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.' As Christians we live on a path, and in Christ we walk down that path with Him in the company of the wise; otherwise, relationships will lead us down dark paths that end in destruction." Winston Smith, Wisdom in Relationships

Look at your relationships. Are they helping you in your walk with God? Are they promoting sin, or helping your slay your sin? Do their words bring godly encouragement, or do their words feed your lusts for this world?
Relationships are not an end to themselves. We often "hang out" with the person we "clicked" with. We don't look any further than whether or not we enjoy being together. Or perhaps we just end up spending a lot of time with those who happen to be the most available. But if relationships can make us wise or bring harm to us, we should take friendships seriously. We should put thought into who we are friends with and what the aim of our conversation and interaction is.
There is a flip side to this issue as well. Before you go judging all of your friends, judge your own heart and actions. What type of friend are you? You have a wonderful yet grave responsibility to bring light, encouragement and wisdom to your relationships. Are our friends benefiting from being friends with us? What path are we leading them down? Am I a good influence?
A good indicator of whether we are serving our friends or not is evaluating our words. This is our aim, "She opens her mouth in wisdom,And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" Proverbs 31:26 What comes out of our mouth when we open it? God's wisdom or the world's foolishness?
While we are told to be wise with our interaction with others, it is important to remember that we are all sinners. We will not be perfect friends, and we will not find perfect friends. We thankfully have grace. But that does not excuse us from making poor choices in friends or being a poor friend. "A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray." Proverbs 12:26
In closing, remember that we are living not for this world's pleasure, but for Heaven's pleasure. We are keeping our eyes on the things above, not on the things that are on this earth (Col 3). Our interaction with others should demonstrate this.
_______________________________
1- Wisdom in Relationships, by Winston Smith, pub. by the Journal o Biblical Counseling, Vol. 19, number 2, Winter 2001: page 34
2-" ": Page 35

posted by Kimi Harris @ 11:49 AM